I have lots of imaginary daughters in my poems — perhaps wish-fullfillment?

if i never have children, i can still make the world safer and more respectful of your daughters. i am still part of this lineage.

it is sad to me that women who can’t (or choose not to have children) are still judged in such harsh, antiquated, minimizing ways.

Jilly – I sure hope that’s so.
I think they should at least add “superheroine/supervillainess” to the list.

“The female archetypes available in our culture are few. Mother, wife, spinster, whore.”

& I disagree with this, nowadays.

Here: I love your poems. So powerful.

Thank you for such an honest and unflinching post.

I couldn’t read the whole exchange that you linked to, because I became too angry regarding Zucker’s assumptions about motherhood. I don’t know whether she ever reaches the point of saying that sometimes she envies the perceived “extra time” that women without children have. I don’t know whether she acknowledges between choosing not to do something and having that choice taken from you.

I do know that I’ve often assumed it was choice–one I respect–only to pull myself back and remember that it might not be. Always a reminder to me to be sensitive in case or either way.

I also don’t know whether it’s ever addressed that men don’t refer to themselves as “men writers” (with some notable exceptions, including Bly). And on the other hand, I still have my copy of Rising Tides, a women’s anthology that I carried with me constantly in the early ’80s.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I will say that I do not view pregnancy and/or motherhood as the primary fulfillment of being a woman–and that one of the most important societal roles is the cool aunt. Just ask my kids.