Still Processing/Recovering from AWP (with Pictures), Spring Begins, Beginning to Read through my AWP stack, an In-Depth Review from Flare, Corona

First cherry blossoms

Spring (Finally) Appears, and Still Recovering/Processing AWP

Spring has finally decided to peep through the clouds, as today was the first day here over 60 and the first cherry blossoms, along with jonquils, camellias, and viburnum. Today I watched a bald eagle circle lazily overhead in my yard in a blue sky, and it felt like a reward for the crappy weather we’ve had the last few months.

Three days after AWP, I got a head injury that landed me in the hospital (concussions and MS do not play well together), so I am literally and figuratively still in recovery, but I was able to get out in the sunshine a bit today, plant a few flowers. I’ve been trading e-mails, got a few rejections and acceptances, but generally feel behind. I’m very lucky to not have caught anything (knock on wood), although I was very nervous about catching covid (or pneumonia or strep or something) at AWP. I am so happy I met so many new people and saw so many old friends. Connection is really important to me – even though it’s hard at three-day conferences with 9000 people to really make those real connections with people – but I do my best.

Charlotte with AWP swag pile

I’ve also started reading through my AWP stack of lit mags and books, although not as fast as I hoped (head injury really slowed down my reading, but I did use audio books). So far, I really enjoyed Dana Levin’s essay on divination and poetry in the latest issue of American Poetry Review, listened to Sabrina Orah Mark’s book of fairy-tale theme memoir/essays, Happily, and sent two submissions to journals that asked for them at AWP.

Below are a few pics other people took of me on the last day at AWP: on the publicity panel, with Kelli Russell Agodon at the close of the bookfair, and January O’Neil’s shot of me signing after my disability panel. I’m still processing everything, but it’s been so nice to be in communication with people who enjoyed the panels or my books or just meeting at AWP. If I found AWP personally enriching, it was also literally enriching to the city: there was an article in Seattle Times about how AWP brought in a whopping 15 million dollars to Seattle, mostly to bookstores, hotels, and bars in the “creative economy:” How the AWP writers conference in Seattle generated an estimated $15M | The Seattle Times

: on the publicity panel

: Kelli’s pic of us at the bookfair

: Signing shot, from January O’Neil

Pink Camellias

An In-Depth Review of a Poem from Flare, Corona, and Planning for a “Book Tour” both IRL and Virtual

Flare, Corona isn’t officially out until May (although you can get it here and you could get it at AWP), but here is a sensitive, in-depth reading of one of the poems from the book by Brian Spears from his new Substack series, Another Poem to Love.

PS If you need a review copy, please let me or BOA Editions know! Reviews are super important to independent presses (and independent authors), so I appreciate any and all reviews.

I’m gearing up for some upcoming readings, both in-person and virtual, in the next few months, but for now I’m doing laundry, catching up with time with my very demanding cats, and trying to get writing again. Since AWP was really a pre-launch, I’m planning a couple of launch events—an official launch at Open Books in Seattle, an unofficial one at a winery in Woodinville (that I may combine with my birthday party), and even a couple in Portland. I hope to add readings in Bainbridge and Port Townsend as well. If you are interested in having me out to a visit your class, I am happy to Zoom in for a visit, even if I can’t make the cross-country trips quite as easily as I did for my first book an unbelievable sixteen years (when I hit places such as Akron and Cincinnati, Ohio; Fredonia, New York; and Western Kentucky on my first book tour). I really appreciate the technology that allows me to travel and read virtually, and even answer questions for a book club. (Zoom really did prove itself to me by enabling two of my AWP panelists to participate remotely.) What do you think, since we’ve had three years of practice with the pandemic, about virtual book tours and book club and class visits? Can they work? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Feeling Like a Writer Again, and Part of a Community But Also, Overwhelmed: Conferences Are Tough and What I Learned – AWP Seattle 2023 Day 1, Day 2, Day 3

Day 1: Ready for AWP (?)

Big AWP Post: Feeling Like a Writer Again, Community and What I Learned from Going to Seattle AWP

I’m home from AWP and recovering, eating breakfast, and uploading photos. So, was it worth it to try to go? I had been in a pretty tight pandemic bubble for the last three years, so it was certainly a change! 9000 people attended! I saw lots of friends, both local and cross country, but I don’t think I got to say hi to half the people I wanted to! I definitely overscheduled—which I usually don’t do, but I’ve never had all my panels accepted before, and then had a new book come out at exactly the same time as AWP in my own town, so figured I had to go for it.

There were risks involved, and the conference center was under construction which made wheelchair access to the building problematic—roads were closed off, wheelchair drop-off places were blocked by construction vans. Before the event I felt very insecure about my identity as a writer and being older and yes, I walk with a cane or wheelchair. But after the first day, I felt like I was part of a community, I felt like a writer again, and I felt much less insecure. People I didn’t know came up to me to tell me about different books and how they loved them. People were enthusiastic about the panels I was on. It felt wonderful connecting with friends.

First day at the bookfair, at Two Sylvias table, with Kelli and Annette (the editors and publishers)

Day 1: A Book Signing, The Bookfair, an Offsite Reading, and System Overload

The first day, Glenn had already registered for us and got our badges the day before and we’d checked into the hotel virtually, so getting to AWP was pretty seamless. We went directly to the bookfair to say hi to people before my book signing for Flare, Corona at the BOA Editions booth. It was great to run into people at the bookfair and meeting new people. I got to talk to the editor of APR, who I don’t think I’d met before, and lots of kind literary editors who had published my work over the years.

The book signing itself went well, but what was surprising was that people didn’t just buy Flare, Corona, they brought 16-year-old copies of my older books and told me how the different books has changed their lives. I was pretty surprised and moved. The team at BOA was really wonderful and supportive, and Glenn had made swag for me—buttons and magnets. I had to rush to the offsite without eating, showering, or resting, and the reading went an hour overtime. There was a terrible inaccessible stage (riser?) and very low light, which made it challenging. It was my first time really reading from the new book, so it was good practice, and there were lots of people in the audience, but: challenging. I tried to hang out with a friend at the bar and it was so crowded and noisy, again challenging.

Things I Learned Day 1: Here were a couple of things I learned: you never know how people and where and when they will connect with your work. Moon City Press sold out of Field Guide to the End of the World, which came out in 2016! And people I ran int0—even pretty good friends—were surprised Flare, Corona was out and available at AWP, even though I felt like I had posted too many times about it on social media (Insta, Twitter, and Facebook) and of course here on the web site. So even if you feel like you’re oversharing, even people who like you and your work probably haven’t seen anything about it. I also sold about a dozen books out-of-hand at bars, the hotel lobby, and just walking place to place—I was lucky Glenn had thought to stash a couple of copies in our bag, so he had them to sell. AWP is a strange place to sell books, because you’re just as likely to sell them sitting at a crowded bar as doing your official readings. This was also my hardest day physically: all my MS symptoms acted up and I was dizzy, breathless, unsteady, and with tremors! Just the overload of noise, light, unexpected hugs (good, but new to me since I’d been bubbling for a while) I think overwhelmed my system. And that was with a lot of prep.

: Poet Sally Rosen Kindred and me

: Fictionwriter Roz Ray

: Erin Keane and me

: With poet Melissa Studdard (first time meeting in person!)

With writer/artist Killian Czuba at Open Books, my happy place

Day 2 at AWP: Meetup at Open Books, Spending Time with Friends Intentionally, and Missing Friends

I took a different approach on the second day: I set up specific friend dates, some of them away from AWP. I started out meeting with Killian Czuba at one of my Seattle happy places, Open Books, the poetry-only bookstore (and very accessible!). We caught up and shopped and then went to a Japanese tea house until they closed down. Then it was back to AWP to meet with speculative writer and friend Lesley Wheeler (we ditched the bar and visited in my hotel room! Racy!), where we were able to provide snacks and a quieter milieu. Then, I raced from there to a fancy dinner I was invited to because (I think) of the featured panelist thing, and luckily, I knew a couple of people there (I was afraid I wouldn’t know anyone and would stand awkwardly around introducing myself to intimidating people), but I couldn’t eat any of the food, food allergies LOL. They did deliver me a carefully wrapped slice of gluten-free bread, which was touching, but I think most of the food would have been deadly (i.e. full of wheat).

What I Learned Day 2: Scheduling intentional offsite time was a win. Wonderful and calming way to catch up with old friends, which is as important to me as selling books at AWP. However, being in individual sessions and no wondering around the bookfair meant lots of friends tried to find me and couldn’t. So next time, I might schedule booth time ahead of time at my other publishers like Two Sylvias or Moon City, so people who want to find you can find you. This was probably my best day physical symptom-wise, though—less noise and crowds, more specific one-on-one talking, and the dinner wasn’t too strenuous.

: With speculative writer Lesley Wheeler

: at the AWP featured dinner with Brownwen Tate and Stephanie Vanderslice

: With friend and great poet January O’Neil

: fellow panelist and science poet Rosebud Ben-Oni and I plot to take over Seattle

Funny pic Glenn took: at the close of the bookfair I sat down at a random empty table to sign books, and this was the sign on the table. LOL.

Day 3 at AWP: The Featured Panel Mutant, Monster, Misfit Myself and Back-to-Back Signing and Panel on Publicity and Saying Goodbye at the Bookfair

This is the day I remember the least, probably, as I had to get up early, race to the first panel—the big, featured panel with Sandra Beasley, Rosebud Ben-Oni, and myself, with Jenn Givhan and Paul Guest attending virtually. There were more people than I expected, and things went smoothly. Hearing the stories of the wonderful writers on the panel was so moving and funny and yes, that terrible word, inspiring. A lot of us were talking publicly about our various illnesses and disabilities for the first time, and I got a lot of positive feedback afterwards. Then I stopped briefly to sign books, wheelchaired (late) all the way across two floors and endless square feet to get to my back-to-back panel on publicity, which was really fun. Everyone on the panel was more “professional” than me—there was an indie publicist, a former Graywolf Publicist and Wave Books’ current publicist (who I would have liked to have had coffee with if I didn’t have to race off again) and the lovely moderator. There were a ton of people cramped into a smaller room (the first panel had plenty of seating in the big ballroom) and the audience was really engaged. It was lovely to hear publicly from the moderator and audience members who said PR for Poets had really helped them and they loved it. Once again, sold books unexpectedly at the end of the panel. The panels went smoothly (as in, I didn’t trip or fall or curse too much or pass out, pretty much all my fears). (Folks who paid to attend the AWP conference should be able to re-watch the stream of the big panel here!)

Then I headed to the bookstore to touch base with all of my publishers who were there, grab some books that were practically being given away, and sign more books and say hi to people I didn’t get to see the first two days. This was also pretty exhausting, but we stayed ’til they closed it down a 5pm. I was glad I did though, because I sold more books, saw more wonderful writer friends, and made plans with lots of people.

What I Learned from Day 3: Probably best not to have panels back-to-back across the conference center, but what I really learned was: I really value the people I was on the panel with and felt honored to spend time with them and wished I could have stayed longer to visit with everyone. Also, I wasn’t a total disaster in my first in-person public speaking engagements in a really long time. Talking about things like disability and publicity—admittedly sometimes difficult subjects—is tremendously important, and people want to talk about those things more. Good to know. So, yes, I learned I need to pace myself, use sunglasses if there are too many lights in your face to dampen down neuro-stress, spend time with people you love as much as possible, and be brave. A note about masks: it turns out, no one can hear me with my KN95 mask on, I overheated in it, and my asthma/MS breathing problems acted up with it. I did wear a mask most of the conference but took it off to do public speaking, close speaking with friends, and for pictures. I have not tested positive for covid yet, but I know it was a risk with that many people from that many places. It was the first time I had had a hard time wearing a mask (except maybe for hospital ER visits during the pandemic, when I was having MS symptoms). Recovering this morning, I am glad I went. I had a wonderful time connecting with people, I was very proud of my new book, and I felt less insecure about my looks, age, disability, and calling myself a writer. It really is the community that is important. A friend of mine said “This is our church,” and I knew exactly what she meant. Signing-off now to go back to sleep! Time change messes up our sleep patterns, which were tough anyway. I hope this post was helpful to you and you felt like you were there yourself. Sending love and light out to you my readers!

: With Trish Hopkinson at the signing

: With scientist poet Margaret Rhee

: Catching up with Heather Brown from Mind the Bird media (a real professional publicist.)

: With friends at the close of bookfair – wiped out but happy – me, Kelli Russell Agodon, Melissa Studdard, Tiffany Midge

Where I’ll Be at AWP, A Rhysling Nomination, Managing MS Symptoms and Anxiety Before Big Public Events: AWP Edition

“Hi, I’m the problem It’s me” Charlotte

Where I’ll Be at AWP

First of all, in case you are planning on attending AWP Seattle in, I don’t know, about four-five days, please check out my six tips for surviving AWP Seattle from last week’s post.

And, if you are planning to be here, and you want to say hi, get a book signed, see me read inside a very cool library, or see me talk about disability/chronic illness or publicity, then here’s where I’ll be at AWP! (*BOA’s booth number is 1232) Is this my busiest, most overloaded AWP ever? The answer is yes! Am I nervous about that? The answer is also yes!

Jeannine’s AWP schedule

Managing MS, Chronic Illness and Anxiety: The AWP Edition

This has been a bit of a week: an unexpected plumbing leak, unexpected emergency dental work, and oh yes, trying to prepare for AWP with MS, my covid worries, and the usual anxiety of how I look/act/speak/fall down a lot but larger because, you know, giant writer’s conference where I’m debuting a new book with a great new publisher and also I haven’t been to since 2019.

A lot of times writers don’t talk about the difficulties involved with the work of being a writer, which includes things like public speaking, publicity, attending conferences. If you have a disability—I use a cane for short distances, and a wheelchair for longer distances, which is obvious, but I also have problems swallowing, breathing, even things like vision and memory, which are less obvious. I also have an immune system deficiency that puts me at high risk for “bad outcomes” as the scholars write—with covid. I’m not ignoring any of that when I say I’m excited about AWP, because I am excited for a chance to see friends, to share my work, to meet my publishers, and all those good things. Am I afraid also of forgetting what I’m saying in the middle of a poem or panel, or saying the wrong word, or falling over unexpectedly, or bursting into tears for no reason (yes, a bizarre MS symptom) or getting MS-overheat-breathing issues in a mask in a close crowded space, or catching something and ending up in the hospital? Am I also afraid of mundane things like people will judge me for my age (I’m not 32 anymore) or weight (hey, you try a long diet of steroids and see how your metabolism does) or clothing (weird, but it has happened to me! Sometimes the world can be so junior high!)

So how do we manage these anxieties? Well, I re-started physical therapy with intense sessions twice a week with a therapist who understandings MS symptom management, I arranged a virtual appointment with my immunologist to talk about “what happens if I actually catch covid,” I practiced reading poetry from my new book (and found it insanely more difficult than I remember? I must be out of practice!) I actually had a PT practice session where I went to mall with noise-cancelling ear plugs and sunglasses (for neurological overload practice – lights, noise, crowds) and interacted with humans, trying on clothing, talking to a salesperson whose parent was a writer, just making small talk. At the end of the hour session at the mall – kind of a dry run for AWP—I was surprisingly tired, and also had an insane need to immediately shower. I have really nice MS therapists who talk to me about my anxiety and prescribe exercises and ways to manage. But in some ways, I just have to trust and jump in. Bad things could happen! But guess what? Maybe the good in this case outweighs the risks? I do love to talk writing and I love my writer friends and it’s just lucky that AWP happened to be in my town exactly when my new book came out. A synergy? A synchronicity? I can’t ignore the positive while swimming in my (somewhat justified) fears. Anyway, if you are dealing with some version of this yourself, I hope this made you feel less alone and less afraid. If you, like me, are coming out of a three-year bubble, yes, this will feel weird, even dangerous. This is just the beginning for me of a bunch of events—yes, in person events—surrounding the launch of Flare, Corona, a book in which I am more vulnerable and open about my health problems than any that I have written. These steps—having a frank discussion with therapists about my anxiety, having a frank discussion about my immune system problems with an immunologist, jumping into regular physical therapy after a long absence, and practicing being inside enclosed spaces with multiple humans I don’t know— are my way of being proactive about things I absolutely don’t control.

A Rhysling Nomination for “Cassandra as Climate Scientist”

A big thank you to whoever nomination me for a Rhysling award for my poem in the California Quarterly, “Cassandra as Climate Scientist.” I have quite a few Cassandra poems that have built up over the last couple of years, and I’m happy this one found a home and someone thought enough to it to nominate it for the Rhysling, which is an award done by the Science Fiction and Speculative Writers Association. I hope you enjoy reading it here.

From California Quarterly

Countdown to AWP! Six Tips for Surviving AWP Seattle! Also, Flare, Corona’s World Tour Begins, Surprise Snow, Bird Visitors, and a Visit with my Brother

Kitten Charlotte in her first snow

Surprise Snow and a Countdown to AWP Seattle

Yes, winter has decided to push spring aside a little longer, so we are having snow yet again for the next four days. Here is kitten Charlotte in her first snow. But mostly, I just want spring to be here—warmer weather, a few spring blooms, a little more light.

Besides getting ready for my book launch and AWP Seattle, I broke/sprained/bruised my right hand in two places, which slows everything down. I may have mentioned this is my busiest AWP ever, which makes the hand injury very frustrating and inconvenient. Along with some spring flowers, I’m hoping for some speedy healing in the next two weeks!

Seattle AWP is only ten days away! (My AWP appearance calander is on the right side of the page under Events.)

Rare visitor: Townsend’s Warbler in snow

AWP: First Things First

My first AWP event is Thursday’s signing at the book fair at the BOA booth at 3:30 PM, which has its own little official graphic. I hope to see you there, because I’ll be running around like a madwoman the rest of the conference. I am nervous and excited about meeting my BOA publishing people for the first time, too. I hope I make a good impression! Someone asked me, has having a big publisher (well, relatively big, for poetry) changed your life as a poet? I would say, I’m working harder than usual so I can take advantage of things like better distribution and more marketing support. But I’ll know more once the book launches officially in May. I’m so nervous!

Six Tips for Surviving AWP Seattle (From a Local)

So, I’ll go back to my week in a second, but for those of you who are going to AWP for the first time, here are six tips for surviving AWP from a seasoned pro (well, I started going to AWP in the early 2000s, when it was just a couple thousand people.) And this AWP might have a little bit of extra anxiety for those of you, like me, who haven’t attended AWP since the pandemic started.

If you are nervous about the pandemic, so am I! Bring masks for high interaction areas, talk to your doctor before you go about an action plan if you do get covid (hey, it happens, and being prepared when you’re away from home is safer than not) and practice things like washing your hands during breaks. If you are high risk, consider limiting your time at crowded events and try to get outside a bit in between things. That’s what I’ll be doing.
Speaking of which, even in non-pandemic years, I always recommend getting outside for a bit! Go meet someone for coffee (hey, we’re famous for it!), take an Uber to the Seattle Japanese Garden, Kerry Park or Pike Place Market, stop in at Open Books (our local poetry-only bookstore). If you love surreal pop art, check out the amazing Roq La Rue Gallery or take in more traditional art at the Seattle Art Museum. Check out the architecture at the downtown Seattle Library (I’ll be giving an offsite reading there Thursday evening)! I love AWP but stale conference center air and florescent lighting can make anyone feel a little less than their best, and Seattle is a beautiful city to explore, and it seems a shame to miss it. (Safety talk: Do take precautions in the downtown corridor after dark like you would in any downtown area—Seattle used to be very low in crime, but it has ticked up in recent years.)
Hydrate—it’s always too hard to find cold water or hot coffee inside the center, so bring your own thermos or water bottle, and don’t forget lip balm and maybe even a travel moisturizer. Washing your hands and using hand sanitizer is hard on the hands. I also keep a face spray (like Tower 28 SOS travel spray) in my purse because it feels great after wearing a mask for any length of time.
Arrange to see your friends! Find a time to get together so you can catch up—I see people I sometimes only see every few years, so it’s a great opportunity.to build friendships, and sometimes that’s more important.
Don’t feel guilty about sneaking back to your room for a nap, or just a little alone time. Especially after being pretty isolated for three years, expect to experience some sensory overload. Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to be “on” 24/7. Remember to eat and drink at appropriate intervals—this one always gets away from me.
Be kind to others, and to yourselves. A lot of us are feeling awkward, what with real shoes instead of slippers and getting their new glasses prescriptions updated after three years. Have you forgotten how to make small talk or remember what’s the exact right way to address your former professor/student/friend from grad school fifteen years ago? Everyone else is probably experiencing those exact same things. Relax, breathe, and try to have some fun—after all, AWP is really about connecting with other writers and people who love writing.

Thanks to John Campos for this shot of Flare, Corona in Mexico this week!

Flare, Corona on Its First Stop on Its World Tour – and a Visit to My Little Brother – with Space Needle

I got this wonderful picture from my friend John Campos who took my book on his vacation to Mexico for a little light reading. Thanks John! The adventure begins! Please send me more pics of my book in different locations if you get a chance. And cats!

Made the trip downtown this week to spend some time with my little brother, where we stopped to have coffee in the lobby of the hip hotel Citizen, gave him a copy of my book and spent some time high up getting pictures on a cold windy night with the Space Needle. I realized there is still a lot of downtown I don’t explore on a regular basis (hello strip club across from a Sephora!) and that the Convention Center has been totally redone since the last AWP Seattle so I’ll have to relearn some of the layout. Also figuring out cool hotel bars/coffee shops in walking distance to the Convention Center is important. So even though we got blown around a bit (I almost fell over the wind was so strong! I felt like Mary Poppins!) it was great to traverse the streets on foot pre-AWP. Plus, my brother is always fun to hang out with, and I was so excited to share my book with him.

: Glenn, me and Mike with Space Needle

: Glenn and Mike in Citizen lobby

: My brother and I in the lobby with my new book!

Getting Ready for AWP: New Glasses, New Hair, New Book, and Getting Used to Hugs Again

Me with new glasses

Getting Ready for AWP

It’s a few weeks before AWP, and I’m trying to prep as much as possible beforehand. I was thinking that AWP for me feels like a kind of re-entry ritual. I went to the eye doctor and got a new prescription—I’d been squinting for at least a year without going in for a check, but I decided to bite the bullet, get the news that yes, my prescription had changed, and got some new frames too.

I also decided to try permanent pink at a professional’s hand—a process that took two hours compared to the twenty minutes it took to do temporary color at home. But I thought, maybe it was time. I’ve been trying on clothing, figuring out outfits, getting rid of things that are worn out or don’t fit, and making sure I had comfortable walking shoes that will work for AWP. For so long I’ve been living in fuzzy slippers! I’m throwing out old makeup and trying out new stuff—I even went inside a IRL store (Blue Mercury, which just opened near our house) to try some things on in person, instead of just ordering online and hoping things worked.

I realized at our last book club—which was a lot of fun—that I wasn’t used to things like hugs, or people talking to me too close—after several years of being extremely cautious, social distancing, etc. But a small group at a winery is pretty low-risk compared to AWP—so it’s good practice, and I left after feeling really cheered by good conversation (and a few book sales!) So, I am looking forward to social interaction, even though I’m still a little anxious about it.

Pink Hair, Kirkland sunset

And It’s Not Just AWP…Birthdays, Parent Visits, and Book Launches

I have my parents coming to visit for the first time in six years, and my 50th birthday to plan, as well as the official release of Flare, Corona. So, I have to get my house in order (carpet cleaning in the basement? Yes! Getting rid of junk in the basement? Also yes!) I haven’t even started with sending out my book cards or my e-mail book announcement yet, so it’s weird that I have a stack of books already. It’s kind of nice that my publisher is so ahead of the game.

I also have a frenetic kitten in my life—yesterday morning she decided when we let her out on our back porch, to fully jump into the birdbath, which we then had to immediately transfer her to her very first bath. This kitten is adorable and cuddly sometimes, and a bitey/scratchy machine at other times. And as far as turning 50, mostly I’ve been “celebrating” that by a ton of doctor appointments who want to check in on my thyroid, my hormones, my bleeding disorder, my liver…well, just lots of things that you have to test when you get to a certain age. My year so far has been filled with doctor appointments, which are occasionally useful, like my MS doctor who just ordered home physical therapy for me, which will be great, and some anti-fatigue medications, most of which I am nervous about taking. I have been watching a lot of friends contend with serious medical problems in themselves, their kids, and their spouses, so keeping up your network of doctors (especially post-pandemic, when so many of them have left/retired/gone on sabbatical) is actually important.

And I’ve been setting up book launches around town—one at a winery in Woodinville, one at Open Books, and now also one at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park (keep an eye on my calendar). I even have a virtual reading in New York State set up. All this, and trying not to catch covid, or break anything, or have any health crises before all these events. We don’t control everything, but I’m trying to be careful and conscious. I’m also hoping the winter ends soon as we can see spring instead of snow. I can just hope for the best, and hope I might see some of you soon.