A Week of Insomnia, the Threat of Nuclear War and Ukraine Heartbreak, Spring Approaches but with Record Cold and Snow (plus bobkitten!)

In a pink sweater dress, dreaming of spring – and peace

A Week of Insomnia and the Threat of Nuclear War

How are you doing? If the stress of the pandemic was not enough, now we are dealing with the threat of WWIII this week as Putin invades Ukraine. The ghost of nuclear war anxiety – something I was familiar with as a kid in the eighties, where nuclear war with the then-Soviet Union was always on our minds and felt like something that could happen any day – is back. My childhood home, Oak Ridge, Tennessee was always on the bombing risk list because although it is called “the Secret City,” the secret is pretty much out that it’s a place that the US could – and definitely has in the past – manufacture nuclear weapons.

So all week I have been unable to sleep, perhaps not inexplicably. I’ve also been running a fever all week, tired, stressed. As mask mandates and vaccine requirements are lifted, the high-risk (like me) are left more vulnerable.

But as the thought of pandemic stress is starting to wane in most American’s minds, it’s still there for me, and now on top of that, heartbreaking videos of young women preparing to defend their country – teenage girls standing in front of their homes unarmed facing armed Russian soldiers, elderly Ukrainian women offering sunflower seeds to the Russians to help commemorate their dead, a 26-year-old teacher being drafted to defend her home city of Kyiv, the bombings, the black smoke, the air raid sirens – anyone with any amount of empathy must be overwhelmed, and when faced with the inaction of the US and Europe against this dictator’s Hitler-like takeover of a country, equally angry and feeling powerless. My brother, who worked extensively in Ukraine in his last job in tech, encouraged me to write to my senators and to send money to Ukrainian charities. If I could become a superhero right this second, I would go and defend the brave citizens of Ukraine.

Yellow crocus – sign of coming spring and hope

Spring Approaching and Nuclear Poems

This week was so strange – cold, sunny days, record-breaking below freezing temperatures at night, even snow – and spring flowers. It made me think of the news, the frenetic dives between politics and plague.

In the beginning of the pandemic, I dreamt repeatedly of nuclear war, and wrote this poem in response, which suddenly seems alarmingly prescient. I usually don’t post unpublished poems, but this one seemed timely. It may make its way into my newest book.

Hummingbird in sunbeam on top of bird cutout

Just a Little Bit of History Repeating

Those of you who are students of history could not be unaware of the parallels to WWI and WWII right now – the financial instability, the crazed dictator and his alliance with an equally sketchy country or two, the global pandemic and war stresses at the very same time, and the stubborn slowness of the US government’s response to both pandemic and war. You know Woodrow Wilson never even publicly addressed the 1918 flu, despite the deaths of one out of every ten Americans from it and he actively increased infection by shipping infected young soldiers around in too-close quarters? Did you know most Americans didn’t want to help Europe in WWII, despite so much evidence that Hitler was a monster and committing heinous crimes – and that we refused refugees’ applications to enter the US, especially of Jewish people, even Anne Frank? (True fact!)

And despite all of this alarming information, the birds are singing louder, the flowers are starting to show their willingness to bloom despite temperamental weather. I feel like I should be tougher, more resilient, like the flowers. My body betrays me – lying awake, uneasy dreams when I do finally get an hour or two of sleep – the fevers, dark circles, nails splitting and a nagging cough. My body knows things are really not okay, no matter what meditation apps I use, or deep breathing exercises I try, or cures of tea, soup, and vitamins.

A proliferation of camellia blossoms

In the unease of the end of February, let’s hope for a better spring – easing up of pandemic death rates, an end to Putin’s ambitious power grabs (and China’s eyeing of Taiwan in the background) that put the entire globe out of balance – a time when we can once again see our friends and family, that America defends its allies and welcomes refugees from despots. The hope that my doctors can help sort out the haywire immune system problems that keep me from living the life I want. If I can banish the discouragement brought on by plague, and war threats, the political strife in America – maybe I can write more poems. Even if the poems can’t bring peace and health to the planet, or even bring an end to my insomnia.

PS: Last night there was a bobkitten sighting on my Ring recorder – a small bobcat, and he was wagging his tiny little bobbed tail! That seems like a good sign!

The Future of Lit Mags, Birds and Blooms in February

The Future of Literary Magazines

CNN did an article this week, surprisingly, on the future of literary magazines, particularly smaller mags: Long-standing literary magazines are struggling to stay afloat. Where do they go from here? – CNN Style.  They talk about the lit mags going under – even big ones, like The Believer.

In the fifties and sixties, the CIA, among other government agencies, sunk a surprising amount of money into literary magazines like The Paris Review, The Kenyon Review, and many others, in order to fight the cold war, so the speak, in the art world.

For a while, universities seemed willing to foot the bill for literary magazines for the prestige, but now, they’re shutting down MFA programs and their accompanying literary magazines left and right, as unbusiness-y, unprofitable.

So what is the future of lit mags? I joked that maybe it’s in the hands of some of the richest people in the country – the ex-wives of Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos, aka Melinda and MacKenzie. I met MacKenzie once at a writer’s conference, not knowing who she was, assuming she was just another struggling writer. I think she might be open to a solicitation for the right kind of magazine – she’s giving away her fortune at astounding rates, which: good for her. Their husbands were never going to do much for the arts out here, even though they live here in Seattle (and the Eastside). You’d think they’d do more for local culture! But their ex-wives will be big contenders in shaping where Seattle’s non-profit scene is at, and not just that, but the whole country’s non-profit scene.

When I volunteered for several lit mags, I begged them to try to raise subscription numbers, to take adds from local businesses, to hold more creative fundraisers, anything so they weren’t so attached to either a) a university’s funding or b) a single angel investor. How can a literary magazine make a profit, and do we even want to worry about that? My answer is, if you want to keep them around, then yes. Often, lit mags are very expensive compared even to the fanciest “regular” magazines. Younger readers expect to get their content for free – even regular mags are struggling with subscriptions. So we have to give readers a reason to buy the magazine. What would that be? What do you think? Are lit mags doomed? Can someone start throwing awesome parties that might attract billionaires looking to share the wealth with the literary arts? And invite me?

First Jonquil in My Garden

Birds and Blooms in February

It’s about to freeze again tomorrow and stay below freezing for three days, so while I’m excited for these early blooms and birds, I’m nervous that the lone bumble bee I’ve seen at my garden might be doomed, much like literary magazines. Camellias and jonquils, mostly, but other things in my garden are budding up. Despite the coming freeze, spring is coming. It’s just taking it’s time this year, a little stop and start.

Our bird visitors this week included lots of Anna’s hummingbirds and a less common visitor – a red-winged blackbird. It was mostly rainy, as you can probably tell, which doesn’t make for the best pictures, but I thought you’d enjoy seeing them anyway. Also, my cat Sylvia with a Valentine’s Day ribbon, just to mix it up.

Happy (Almost) Valentine’s Day, Faux Spring, and Thinking About Changes in Seattle’s Lit Scene

early pink rhododendron

Happy (Almost) Valentine’s Day!

We had a beautiful sunny day today, and Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a rainout, so we tried to get out and about and soak in as much “faux spring” – that’s what our weather person called it – as we could. I heard a robin singing this morning, and downtown, I saw a forsythia blooming (though ours hasn’t quite done that yet).

With the Superbowl AND the Olympics, it seems to be a sports-crowded time to celebrate what’s traditionally a romantic weekend! That’s okay. I’m pretty sure we can have Glenn watch the Bengals (hopefully – they’re the team of my former hometown, Cincinnati) win, have me watch some figure skating (so much scandal this year!), and also find a way to carve out time for some romance.

We took a trip over to Seattle to Open Books to buy a few books before it moves from Wallingford to Pioneer Square -a big change after 20 plus years in the same location. It made me think about how much Seattle’s lit scene has changed since we moved here in late 2000.

I also goofed around with possible author photo outfits (did I mention I have author photos for BOA coming up and I’m terrified?) with Glenn taking the pictures with our “fancy” camera. What do you think? Do either of these tops work? I think this hair color is a bit too rose gold – I think I’ll skew it a bit pinker for the photos. Argh! How do regular poets do this? Pictures are hard!

Glenn and I in the sunshine, Kirkland

Faux Spring in February

It’s already felt like a too-long, gloomy winter, and many of my friends have already traveled at least once to sunnier climes to relieve their winter blues. I can’t do that yet, so getting a little bit of 50-degree sunshine in February is a real gift. A few rhododendrons and forsythia blooms, and I can’t wait ’til the cherry trees start blooming.

The birds are definitely more active than they were a few weeks ago. This forsythia was blooming a door down from Open Books. Walking along Lake Washington in Kirkland is a nice break from cloudier, moodier Woodinville. We also picked up pink roses and tulips to brighten up the house so it felt a bit more romantic and spring-like.

Kelly Davio and I in front of Open Books in 2010

Thinking About Seattle’s Changing Literary Scene

Yes, our trip today to Open Books – the first place I visited as a tourist to Seattle on the recommendation of one of my English professors at University of Cincinnati – reminded me of how things have changed since we moved here. Pioneer Square – a rowdier, bar-filled tourist spot that once housed Elliot Bay Books – will be the new home of Open Books, which lived in sleepier, more residential Wallingford since before I came to the town as a visitor. Elliot Bay moved to hipster – but now more “corporate condo” than “hipster artists and bars” – Capitol Hill. I used to meet friends at Open Books – see pictures – and I’ve had almost every launch reading for my books there, too. See a picture of one of them below. I’ll have to make new memories at the new location.

Book Launch in 2011 with a bunch of friends, Open Books

I used to spend hours in the rundown former funeral home that housed the Richard Hugo House when I first moved to town, imaging I was in a real artist’s place – and then I volunteered there for small local lit mags for a while. Back then, yes, there were drug deals in front of the place, it wasn’t at all accessible, and there was a rumor of a baby ghost in the basement (along with a baby’s coffin) but it felt charmingly quirky, much like the area of Capitol Hill, where you could get a drink at a dive bar with pinball machines or papier mache unicorn heads. Now, Hugo House is housed in the fairly cold, corporate grounds of a re-done condo building (and paying much more than it used to on rent, which leads to more fund-raising and less, well, artist-nurturing), and it just doesn’t feel as cozy and welcoming and well, artistic. It is more accessible (bonus!) and has bathrooms you don’t accidentally get locked in…and no ghosts (yet…)

The places that I’ve relied on to meet other writers – like Open Books and Hugo House – are changing, and have changed, and while I’m sad about that, I recognize that a city doesn’t stay the same, and a literary scene doesn’t stay the same. During the pandemic, we haven’t visited Seattle much, and we used to go every weekend, to hang out, to visit Pike Place Market or one of the many bookstores and coffee shops, always exploring new (to us) neighborhoods. Seattle’s increasing homeless problem, litter, and crime are unfortunate side effects of growth and some serious housing affordability problems as well as a lack of resources for the poor, the mentally ill, and people who age out of the foster system. Our politicians have promised fixes but haven’t (as yet) delivered. Does this affect the art scene in Seattle? Yes. Did the pandemic hurt our art scene? Unquestionable. Do we have AWP coming out next year? Yes we do! Do I want to show Seattle in its best light to my friends who come to town? Yes I do! So I will keep exploring to find out where writers and artists are hanging out now. Maybe I’ll find the next new cool artistic hangouts. I hope so.

And another problem – I live in an “ex-urb” of Seattle, Woodinville, a sleepy area of farms and wineries and a surprising number of hidden charming corners, but it has almost nothing that you could call “culture.” No art galleries, barely any indie shops, we have one Barnes and Nobles and a couple of coffee shops besides Starbucks but it’s been hard for me to build a community out here – and I encountered similar problems in 2012 when I was Redmond’s Poet Laureate, working hard with schools and librarians and visual artists and local language clubs to try to generate interest in poetry and art. Even though Redmond has Microsoft and a fair number of millionaires, and Bellevue’s real estate is now more expensive than Manhattan (said our local paper this weekend,) it’s tough to attract people or the funds to create cultural centers where art, music, theater, and poetry might thrive. I’ve dreamed of throwing salons in the area, which is beautiful, and I’m sure has a lot of artists, musicians, and writers in it, it’s just…I can’t find them, or we have no gathering places.

If I had unlimited funds and time, I might build a poetry bookshop/coffee shop/art space myself here in Woodinville, where real estate isn’t quite as pricey. I lived in Napa for a year, and they had a wonderful mix of wineries, indie book shops and restaurants, and unique gardens, farms, and markets that just made for a lovely quality of life. (Fires, earthquakes, and high taxes – all endemic to California – notwithstanding.) They even had their own writer’s conference each year! We need to start something like that. I’ll keep dreaming…

Happy February, Inching Towards Spring, Hoping for a Better Month, A Nice Review on Instagram (and Thoughts on Instagram for Poets)

Steller’s Jay in dim morning light

Happy February! Inching Closer to Spring…

Welcome to February, everyone, which means not only are we a week away from Valentine’s Day (and the Superbowl, if you’re into that – go Bengals!), we are inching closer to spring! Although most of my garden looks dead right now, there are some bulb shoots showing green in the ground. My cherry trees have buds on them. Blooms can’t be far away!

Most of the US got clobbered by a winter storm this week, but here we’ve just been socked in by the same cold gray rain. I felt very lucky to get this shot of a Steller’s Jay taking flight on one of our cold dark mornings, and the light was so strange the bird appears almost turquoise. I was lucky to have any days bright enough to even get pictures. Hopefully there is more sun ahead…

New Haircut

New Hair, New Month, Hopefully a Better Month?

I felt well enough, finally, to go out into the world after almost a month of being stuck at home sick, and got my hair done. I don’t know if it’s perfect, but it did make me feel better. I hadn’t had my hair done in a while because my hairdresser (triple vaxxed) had caught covid right before I got sick and we’d had to cancel about three consecutive appointments. Anyway, I’ve been feeling depressed and bedraggled, so this was a good way to start the month in a new light. We are supposed to have a week of sun in front of us, and finally – finally – Omicron cases seem to have peaked in our area (they peaked in Ohio weeks ago.)

After a string of depressing things in my writing life, including a long string of rejections and some other stuff which I can’t go into, but trust me, depressing, I am trying to look forward.

Pussy Willows – signs of spring?

So I’m looking forward to several things this month. Writing something new, maybe visiting a bookstore in person, focusing on Flare, Corona‘s cover art, edits, etc, and hopefully doing some more fun things than just lying at home in bed sick. Maybe even visit an art gallery, a botanical garden, the zoo?

Are you looking forward to anything particular in February?

A Nice Instagram Review of PR for Poets (and Thoughts on Poets and Instagram)

For those poets who aren’t on Instagram yet, or do not feel confident using it, I have to say, I was so grateful for this Instagram book review yesterday – and unlike some reviews, this generated sales – at least as well as I can measure on Amazon sales rank – right away! What a shock!

Thank you to TheBookshelfCafeNews for the shoutout and poets, go get on Instagram and let’s start talking about poetry books there. I am still getting used to the medium (sometimes I forget hashtags, and I’m still not confident in my ability to post “stories”) but think it is definitely worth being on there. There’s less of the negative vibe that can sometimes get overwhelming on Twitter, plus as many pictures of baby animals or cool art as you want to include in your feed. Yes, it’s still owned by evil overlord Facebook (or Meta) – but seems slightly less evil? Maybe this is because I only follow poets, Ina Garten, and a lot of red panda, fox, and zooborns accounts. Anyway, I encourage you all to give it a try. You can follow me there at @webbish6 – I mostly post pics of birds and flowers, the occasional selfie and poem – a lot like the blog, without all the words. Also, if you have helpful tips for others (and me) who are writers on Instagram, please leave them in the comments!