Sorry I haven’t been posting here much – I’ve been depressed, what with the upcoming surgery (fifteen days now and counting) and I feel like I’m wearing a sign that says “Thank you, no, I won’t be able to have children after that. Nope. Not ever. No chance.” It’s been hard to pick out clothes from the closet in the morning, much less which poetry journal to submit to…(my poems are lined up and stamping their feet impatiently. Well, you’ll just have to wait!)

But last night at my writer’s group I read a poem I had written about this experience, and felt better, especially after all the kind comments from my friends. I was like, hrmph, maybe there’s something therapeutic about this poetry thing after all. And it’s good to have a group of writers you can trust to bring anything to.

I turned in my first new packet of poems, essays, etc to my new advisor, and I am nervous and hopes she likes them. Honestly, it’s like being in fourth grade – “I hope the teacher likes me/my poems!” Especially since I’ve been writing lately with my “neurotic” edge rather than my “funny” or “feminist” edge.

I have a reading this Saturday with my good friend and great poet, Natasha Moni, at this tiny coffee shop in a tiny town. Sometimes those readings feel the best, I don’t know, more intimate, more like the crowd is with you rather than there by chance and resenting it, you know? I’ve been going to and giving readings a lot lately, because of the new chapbook. It’s kind of weird to go out and be extroverted when you really want to curl up in a cave and grow thick fur.

On another note, I felt ashamed of myself for complaining earlier in my blog about what a pain it was to vote (I had some red-tape issues this year) after I saw the pictures of Iraqi women holding up purple fingers, who went out to vote even with threats of beheading and the chopping off of hands. Those women are way braver than I will ever know how to be. Seriously, not to be all corny and whatnot, but I was crying when I saw those pictures.

And, on a still less related note, if you haven’t already seen them, there’s a great series of essays up at the Academy of American Poets site, all by “younger” writers. http://www.poets.org/almanac/index.cfm

I just loved reading this stuff. Perhaps soon I will be able to write “manifestos” about poetry. I like debating topics like these. What are my responsibilities as a young writer to “make it new?” (Dana Levin.) Is personal narrative dead? Lord, I hope not. (Aaron Smith) And, after dissing Wordsworth and Whitman like a punk, I am humbled by reading the excellent use of each in essays by Tom Thompson and Richard Tayson. PS – Also read the spirited defense of MFA programs by Arielle Greenberg. Okay, though, seriously, read all of them. As much fun or more than reading the “letters” section of Poetry Magazine!