Springtime and Change is in the Air

Quick update: Thank you to “Up the River Journal” who posted three poems from Unexplained Fevers up on their site: http://uptheriverjournal.wordpress.com/issue-one/jeannine-hall-gailey

Last night I went to a really fun poetry reading where I got to hear from Marge Manwaring’s new book and work by Ron Starr, and got to hang out with a few friends afterward, had a long phone conversation with a good friend in medical school – and had one of those spur-of-the-moment, embrace-change haircuts! (Razor-cut asymmetrical bob.) I also colored my hair much, much blonder. It felt good to do something different. That’s right, people – I don’t want to be a walking cliche, but when you have the blues, go blonde! I mean, what can it hurt? (PS my blonde is always a bit strawberry, because I really can’t get rid of the red in my hair no matter what color I mean to color my hair. “Chocolate brown/mocha” ends up auburn, so “light brown/dark blonde/caramel/honey/almond” ends up strawberry. By the way, notice how many of those words involve food – is someone going to be eating our hair? Right? Gross!) I know I’m being a total junior high girl and posting pics of the hair. (I did it on Facebook too! Crazy!)

Talking to a bunch of folks yesterday, I realized a lot of people have been feeling down and ready for a change, not just me – especially in their jobs. How many people have been stuck in jobs they hated because of fear, because of the bad economy? Maybe it’s time for some optimism, some positive change, again – time to stop gritting our teeth and getting through the day, and looking for something better.

I’ve also applied for a long-shot job kind of thing, and am continuing to look for newer, bigger opportunities. Why not, I say? What can it hurt? I’m also planning my first out-of-town reading for the new book out in Portland in June, so yay for that! I’m trying to write a little, God-help-me, fiction. Maybe an attempt at memoir too. Maybe I’ll send out a few freelance queries. I have always thought when I get really down, it’s a sign I should change a few things.  Not moving to Hawaii/get a divorce/meltdown kind of changes, but changes to the small things I’m unhappy with – personal interactions, job and money stuff, adding and deleting things to the schedule (writing time in – doctor’s appointments – out!)  I do think struggling with weird health problems AND being a poet (talk about job uncertainty!) could potentially drive a lot of people batty, not just me. It’s my own work to figure out how to balance and manage that with good things in my life – how to let go of worrying about my family, how to be ask for the things I want and not be afraid of being more assertive, how to add in things like writing time and hanging out with friends and going out (i.e., fun!) and make those things just as important as the many duties and responsibilities I usually give priority to. Also, trying for things I’m normally too nervous to try for! Because, at this point, why not?