My Review of Martha Silano’s New Book on Mom Egg, Holiday Lights and Holiday Celebrations with a Full Cold Moon

Glenn, me, Loree, and Mike

Happy Holidays! Holiday Lights and Holiday Celebrations

This is a bit early, but we celebrated an early Christmas with my little brother Mike and sister-in-law Loree this weekend, which was really fun (and forced us to clean and decorate the house, not as fun but definitely needed!) We had a Christmas dinner (Glenn made it and it was delicious as usual) and caught up on things and talked about plans for next year. We both have house projects in the works for 2025. They’re going home to the Midwest for the holidays, so this was our last chance to see them. Before they left, though it had been rainy and windy when they arrived, we went outside and got a glimpse of the full Cold moon.

Today I’m finishing a few more holiday cards (definitely behind on that) and planning out the rest of the year. We also took a few pics with Redmond reindeer lights while we had some light. I’m ready for more sunshine ahead. Glad the solstice is coming up.

My Review of Martha Silano’s This One We Call Ours up at Mom Egg Review

I’m so happy to have a new review of Martha Silano’s latest, the winner of the Lynx Prize, This One We Call Ours, up at Mom Egg Review. It’s a wonderful collection and I hope you take the time to read about it—a call to action about the environment, apocalyptic and fierce. Here’s a short excerpt:

While Silano’s previous books have dealt with similar subject matter – physics, biology and the end of the world, the science of human psychology – this new book make the danger that shimmers in the background of her other books more menacing and urgent.”

As much as I liked this book, I know based on some of the poems she’s published about her journey with ALS (see: Poetry Magazine, among other places, for her work) that Martha’s next book will be even better, so keep your eye out for news about that book’s publication.

Wishing you all a safe, healthy and happy holiday.

A Busy Week of Pre-Holiday Teaching, Celebrating with Friends, SAL Event with Aimee Nezhukumatathil, and More

A Busy Week – Pre-Holiday Teaching, Celebrating with Friends, and More

I saw the sunrise more than once this week, as I got up early at the beginning of the week to do a class appearance for Dr. Lesley Wheeler’s class at Washington and Lee University at 9:30 AM Pacific Time. The class asked great questions, they asked me to read poems from Flare, Corona I hadn’t read out loud yet, and generally had great vibes despite the early hour.

This week was also filled with social activity—downtown Seattle dinner with poet friends, attending a Seattle Arts & Lectures (SAL) event, and an early morning downtown Seattle breakfast to end the week with old friend (best-selling writer and poet) Aimee Nezhukumatathil.

Next week we’ll celebrate Christmas early with my little brother and sister-in-law. In the meantime, we’re still in the middle of decorating the house, getting out holiday cards, and oh yeah, seeing endodontists for a root canal, scheduling MRIs and blood draws and eye exams. It was nice to have one week where I felt like a writer again, a real person, instead of a case study, if you know what I mean.
If you are struggling, and I know many are, please be kinder to yourself than you think you need to be. Take a trip outside your house to see people who brighten your life. See some holiday lights. Give strangers the opportunity to be friendly for once. Have that espresso martini. Tonight I’m going to try to write and send out some poems. Work on my next book manuscript. Listen to the tiny voice inside my head that says: despite everything, cling to the light.

Happy Post-Thanksgiving, A Season of Rejection, Holiday Lights with Dragons, Seeing Friends and Winter Birds

Happy Post-Thanksgiving

Hello! Hope you had a good Thanksgiving. We had a solo low-key Thanksgiving, which was nice. I’m not a huge T-Day person anyway, so we got out the Christmas tree, put on some Christmas movies, ate only the things we wanted to eat and FaceTimed with our families. We didn’t shop on Black Friday, but we did go out on Small Business Saturday and got a few things.

Here’s a shot of a sunset in Kirkland, in front of some shop holiday windows, a sunset, and some winter bird shots from my back porch, including a beautiful pileated woodpecker and a female hummingbird. I also had a week of rejections—but it’s also time that many literary mags are reopening, so it’s the circle of poetry publication, I suppose. Can’t wait for the days to get longer again!

Holiday Lights at the Bellevue Botanical Gardens, and Holiday Plans with Friends

In front of poinsettia tree at Botanical Gardens

In following my previous post about seeking to do positive things that will help lift our spirits, we visited the holiday lights—somewhat non-traditional—at Bellevue Botanical Gardens, which features dragons and flowers made of lights, as well as a very cool underwater scene. Video of dragon below pics.

This year BBG also has concerts every weekend, and when we went, they had a jazz guitar quartet, so we listened to a concert of jazz standards by Cole Porter and the Peanuts Christmas theme on steel guitar. We hadn’t seen live jazz in a long time, so it was a fun bonus.

Tomorrow I’m doing a class for a university on the East Coast early, and later in the week I’m going to meet a friend downtown for drinks and then go to the SAL event featuring Aimee Nezhukumatathil, whom I’ve known since we started blogging in….2003? So it’ll be nice to go be social a bit. I hope you are also keeping your holiday/election blues at bay with whatever makes you feel even a little happier.

Please enjoy a few seconds of this dragon light display. And have as happy a holiday season as you possibly can.

Bomb Cyclones and Power Outages, New Poems in Friction, Practical Plans for the Future, Doing Something Positive in the Face of Despair

Woodinville Holiday Lights and Rain Reflection post-bomb cyclone

Bomb Cyclones and Power Outages

We had a once-in-twenty-year bomb-cyclone storm that killed two people, injured many others, and left almost a million people without power, internet, or cell phone service. We were out of power for four days and tried to tough it out with our propane generator, but eventually went to a hotel downtown to shower, have power and heat (our house got down to 50 degrees, which is chilly!) But even there, the internet and phone weren’t working normally. I am now back at home, buried in emails, laundry and dishes, cleaning up, etc. It felt a little apocalyptic here, especially considering the bad news of the last month. What’s the old saying? “Cheer up, it could be worse!” and sure enough, I cheered up and it got worse!

The one good thing that came out of the disaster was it reminded me I can survive bad things. We went out to eat twice and out of those two times, I had an allergic reaction from something. My MS symptoms were acting up, but I didn’t collapse or need the hospital during the days the power was out. Here are Glenn and I (me with makeup put on in the dark, and no blow drier!) at the lobby of the Edgewater and Hyatt hotels, which were full of people with two dogs and two kids in tow, looking exhausted. Others happily typed away on laptops.

Sylvia with her copies of the new issue of F(r)iction

Three Poems in the New Issue of F(r)iction

But I am happy to say I had three poems appear in the gorgeous new issue of F(r)iction, pictured at left with a snuggly Sylvia (who hid all the days the power was out? She doesn’t like her routine interrupted, which I understand). My three poems were accompanied by art by Tyler Champion. You can order a subscription here. This issue is the “Dreams” issue.

In other literary news, I found out after I got home that local treasure (and really sweet human) Lena Khalaf Tuffaha had won the National Book Award for Poetry, and Percival Everett (long overlooked) had won for fiction. And I’d been rejected again for the NEA.  So good news/bad news.

Here’s a sneak peek at two of the poems. I hope you enjoy them, but the whole issue is beautiful and worth reading.

Practical Plans for the Future: Doing Something Positive in the Face of Despair

I have seen multiple people in the last week encourage those who feel despair or discouragement in the face of life (health stuff, money stuff, election stuff, friends dying, power outages, etc.) to do something positive for others or themselves in the face of despair. Something concrete. For instance, going out and being extra kind to people you interact with, who are probably also going through a hard time. Taking something over to your neighbors. Calling a friend who is struggling. If you are feeling despair about your health, doing something positive for your health—a diet tweak, starting your tai chi practice again—if you are feeling despair about your career, taking a small step—sending out a resume, taking a class.

In my case, I’m going to try to spend more time writing, editing and submitting, not just stressing out about my lack of success as a writer. Seeking out an opportunity to study or do a residency in Europe. Doing a short visit before trying to move to either Ireland or France seems wise. I’ve also looked up resources for disabled people and for people with food allergies who are moving to Europe. I’ve taken a masterclass with resources on visas, pets, banking, and work for Americans moving to Europe. I’m trying to get in touch with people I know in Ireland and France. Anyway, small, concrete steps towards my goals.

This week, I’m going to prioritize joy and connection after several weeks of feeling disconnected and despairing. I’m finally putting up some holiday decorations. Glenn and I are exchanging one present, instead of lots of things that might fill up the house (we are trying to declutter and downsize). I’ve been struggling with anxiety (and weird blood pressure) and MS symptoms, so rest and things that are good for the body and mind are on my list of things to do, too. Adding beet juice and sweet potatoes into my diet, and yes, at least a few minutes of tai chi (laugh all you want, I still suck at it, but it feels like it helps everything from balance to asthma tightness). A nightly hot cider and a few Christmas movies (The Bishop’s Wife with Cary Grant, Christmas in Connecticut with Barbara Stanwyck) might be a new habit to build in too. Giving food to food drives, clothes and toys to donation centers.

Do I sound like I have a new perspective? I think the death of my old roommate and being out of control with the power/internet/phone outage actually forced me to think about what I need to do to survive. I want you to think hard, too, about what is within your control, and how you can bring more kindness, generosity, and joy into your life, in your own sphere of influence. Sending light out there to everyone who is struggling.

When You Lose Old Friends, Interventions at the Zoo with Snow Leopards, and Contemplating Changes in a Supermoon

Dewi Plass’ Escapism

Interventions at the Zoo with Snow Leopards

Earlier in this week, before the Woodland Park Zoo had a bird flu scare (stay safe, zoo animals and keepers!), Glenn took me for a brief trip to the zoo to see the new baby snow leopards. Some of the holiday lanterns were already up, plus we saw chirping otters. Yes, I had to be in a wheelchair for the trip—MS still acting up—but hopefully I’ll be back to walking soon.

It was hard to be sad or angry while watching snow leopard cubs do their snow leopard thing. Also, I hope that people will remember to save the cute snow leopard cubs, and therefore the environment. I can hope!

But here’s my sad news of the week. My college roommate, Tara Polek, who helped get me through Organic Chem and went to UC basketball games with me, who moved from Ohio to Seattle just like I did, who was the smartest, kindest children’s cancer researcher ever, passed away.

Tara Polek and I in 2023

I feel like this is where I should have poetic thoughts, but I’m still mostly in sad mode. Tara had two young children and a husband, and I never heard she was even sick. In college, she was the friend who, when I caught pneumonia and the girl across the hall had to be airlifted to the hospital with even worse pneumonia, never even got a sniffle. She ran—for fun—ever since I knew her. She spent her entire life doing cancer research. I wish I had told her how much her 30-year friendship meant to me while I still had the chance.

Me, Heidi, and Tara in 1994

This is a picture of us (with another dorm mate) on the way to a basketball game my freshman year of college. Anyway, I notice that my friends tend to be smarter, better people than I am, and, inevitably, taller than me. This makes it harder when you lose them. So, make sure that you tell your friends, no matter what else is going on, how much you appreciate, how you think of them as bright lights. Because you don’t know how long you’ll have them.

Contemplating Change in a Frost Supermoon

The frost supermoon

One thing that the death of a good friend will do is make you reconsider your life and where you are in it. At 51, I have spent too much time in the last decade in doctor’s offices, not enough having adventures, traveling, seeing the world. The world seems to have shrunk, especially since the pandemic, and now, with the election, it seems more dangerous than ever to just elect the status quo.

So, I signup up for an online class called She Hits Refresh, about women over thirty moving out of the US, and I’m researching grad schools, cities, visas, vacation time, disability, and medication rules. It’s been my dream for a long time to live in France, and besides that, visit England and Ireland.

On top of that, I’m sending my next manuscript out to new publishers. I’ve got be braver with my art, and my personal life. I feel like I’ve seen my life shrink and I don’t want that to define the rest of my life, or my writing. I don’t want to live in fear.

On that note, wishing you warmth and bravery as we near the holidays. Stay strong, stay sane.

Doing Terrible? Me too! Setbacks in Physical and Mental Health, How to Move Forward (with Typewriters and Poems)

My pink typewriter, maple leaves

Hello My Friends! Doing Well? Me Neither.

You may have noticed I didn’t post last week, and almost didn’t past today. My MS has been acting up with some pretty severe symptoms, and since the election, I’ve also been dealing with depression and anger. This is on top of a pretty bad career setback I’m still reeling from, money issues, the root canal I still haven’t found a person to do for me.

I postponed needed updates to the house because my MS is too bad for me to even have people around. I’m looking at ways to move forward – finding maybe a new path.

How to Move Forward

So, how to move forward after setbacks in your personal, professional life, your health, your spirit, your feelings towards your country?

Good question. I read some philosophy, including Voltaire, who contended that people were too stupid and too self-interested for a democracy to work (he may have been right?) I tried to reconnect to my spiritual side. I thought about paths I might like to try – maybe a graduate degree in another country, focused on something totally impractical that I’ve wanted to do for a long time, like folklore studies. I looked at requirements for moving to countries like Ireland and France. I tried self-care – sleeping, breathing exercises, etc. I am still, to be honest, struggling. I wake up in the cold dark, and the sun (if there is any) disappears at four PM. I try to avoid any news. I deleted Twitter, cancelled my newspaper subscription. Sold a bunch of clothes and getting rid of a bunch of old furniture. I checked in with some family and friends. Maybe moving forward will take some work and some time.

Typewriter with fairy agaric mushrooms

Still a Writer

The only thing I know for sure is I am still a writer, so I will write and submit and keep trying to encourage people to read, and specifically read short stories and poetry. I’m supposed to do a class visit soon. Right before the election, the site Poetry Out Loud posted my poem, “Spellcaster,” which is from my latest manuscript which I am now looking for a publisher for.

Here is a sneak peek.

I wish you better news and a better week ahead.

Happy Halloween! A Rough Week, Election Sunday Scaries, When You Feel Like an Outsider (and How to Deal with Professional Setbacks)

Glenn and I at local pumpkin farm McMurtrey’s (with pumpkin and pumpkin sweater.)

Happy Halloween Week!

Yes, it’s almost Halloween, the day of the thinning of the veil between the natural and unnatural worlds, that celebration of ghosts, candy, and pumpkins. What I love about Halloween is the nature of the neighborliness of it, the sweetness of kids in costumes and handing out candy (without asking about your neighbor’s country of origin or voting record or anything else). Glenn loves Halloween and often decorates our house to a degree that I never really saw growing up.

It’s also almost November 5th, which seems much scarier this year than mere ghosts and goblins. Having already voted early (thanks, Washington State), we are watching the polls in other states in a definite state of anxiety.

Pumpkins!

A Rough Week

So, this was a tough week, beyond the election day anxieties. My MS symptoms ALL raised their ugly heads after an infusion last week that didn’t go well, and I also had a personal and professional setback that, well, knocked me back a bit. I had some days where I felt—despair. Chronic illness, professional setbacks, and wondering if your country is actually so fascist that they’re going to vote for a fascist a la Germany in the thirties (not to mention a racist, rapist, felon who’s also deeply stupid) can be a lot, even for the most resilient among us. And this week I didn’t feel resilient. I felt sick, I felt crippled (I’m disabled, but some days I don’t feel it as much), and I felt like a failure. I felt despair. I wondered if I needed to make some big changes, one of which would be to quit trying to be a writer, another of which would be moving countries, to Ireland or France (both of which have pretty good policies towards disabled people and both of which we have family ties in, but could both be as susceptible to fascism as we are?) I thought about applying to a PhD program in another country and not in English, Biology or Creative Writing (my previous three degrees). I am looking at starting over again in some really tough things. I have a lot of friends recently who have had worse crises than mine—terrible accidents, cancer, death of loved ones, and divorce. I wish I could do more. I am so emotionally exhausted I don’t even know how to support these friends; I know I’m not as energetic as normal right now, and I make allowances for that (some of that is the MS, I know). If you read this blog regularly you know I’m not a great faker in terms of pretending things are fine when they’re not. And right now, for several reasons, they’re not.

Me at the pumpkin farm

Feeling Like an Outsider and Dealing with Professional Setbacks

On top of the professional blow that left me reeling, this week I was reading my new copy of Poets & Writers and there was an article, written by a friend of mine, that quoted exclusively people I would also consider friends. Is it possible to feel like an insider AND an outsider at the exact same time? Or that, given the number of years you’ve been working in your field, that you should be doing…better than you are? I am surely not unique in this feeling, but I just felt it more acute than usual after reading this article.

One way of dealing with professional setbacks is to simply say that you’re better off without that press, or editor, or job, or agent, or whatever, and look to the next thing. I’ve never been laid off or fired from a job, but I sure do feel “fired” from the job of poet these days. I’m trying to get up the energy to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back into it, but I’m also thinking, maybe it’s time to stop? Maybe it’s a sign? I’ve struggled with this thought many times since I started writing as a kid. In fact, I did give up creative writing for at least a dozen years or more. Turning 51 last April, I did think to myself that wow, am I STILL trying to get published in X journal, or get any professional recognition at all in terms of grants, awards, prizes, good review venues? Am I still trying to find the right publisher, the one who really believes in my work? After all the years of volunteering and AWPs and writing and submitting and getting degrees and even teaching for four years in an MFA program? What am I doing? Why do I feel like I need a mentor more than I ever have at my age? I do not expect you, dear readers, to have the answers to these questions. Just know that I’m struggling. I am visiting pumpkin farms, and eating kettle corn, and watching horror comedies, trying to keep up morale. But sometimes it’s just…hard. It’s maybe harder than it seems.

On a Somewhat Brighter Note…

Thanks to everyone who signed up for my Zoom class on Sunday with Kelli Russell Agodon! Despite feeling a little under the weather, the “Thinning Veil” class went great (despite a thunderstorm threatening power and internet – but very spooky!) and was super fun! I’m glad I had something to look forward to during this difficult week.

I’ll leave you with a spooky-ish poem from Flare, Corona, first published by Seattle Review of Books, “This is the Darkest Timeline:”

A Trip to Skagit Valley, Surviving Infusions during Supermoons, Last Days to Sign Up for Spooky Season Poetry Class, and Voting

Glenn and I with dahlias and Mt Baker in Skagit Valley

A Trip to Skagit Valley in October

Knowing I had a tough week in front of me, we decided to take a spontaneous trip to Skagit Valley on one of the sunnier days before my infusion date. We stopped by RoozenGaarde and admired their dahlias and bought tulip and daffodil bulbs to plant for next spring. While we were there, a woman recommended a local pumpkin farm called Gordon Skagit Farms. We then stumbled upon it as it was really close, but it was only fifteen minutes to close. We got coffee and pumpkins and kettle corn for the drive home, but it was incredible to be there at sunset, all these gorgeous farm settings (their logo is a fox!) and kids taking picturesque shots with tractors. If you’re in the area, check out Gordon Skagit Farms—it is gorgeous and huge. How had we missed it on all our other trips to the area in the fall? No idea!

Surviving Infusions During Supermoons

Hunter’s Moon Supermoon

The day I was supposed to get my infusion was also the day of the Hunter’s moon Supermoon, which was pretty spectacular. The infusion experience? Not so much. The infusion center had NO saline bags—the shortage is real, people—and my doctor had forgotten to order ANY of my pre-medications (last time I had four). It lasted longer than my last one and I was in a public room instead of a one-person room, too, so no television or audiobooks (didn’t want to be rude to the other people in the room, but it makes four and a half hours with a painful needle in a vein seem much longer). I had side effects—headache, itchiness, muscle cramps—and was pretty wiped out for two days. I hope this was worth it! My immune system doesn’t really “do” vaccines properly, so these antibody infusions are important to keep me out of the hospital with more serious disease, but they really aren’t fun. But right before the infusion, I walked out into my garden, and I saw the first butterfly of the season: a Red Admiral. Seemed, along with the Supermoon, to be a good omen.

Red Admiral Butterfly

Today was the first day I was able to get out and about, and it was crazy windy. We visited our local pumpkin farm, JB Family Growers. I voted too! If you have election anxiety, you’re not the only one. The only way this vote is close is because people would rather vote for a deranged, hate-filled criminal than vote for a woman, because this country has a LOT of deep-seated misogyny. “I just don’t like her voice” I’ve heard people say—which is a terrific reason to not vote for someone, right? I mean, who cares about women’s rights or health care or the Ukraine—against “a candidate’s voice is annoying (and by that, they mean female.)” Anyway, I hope you get out and vote because every vote is going to count this election.  I am going to hope for the best. In Washington State, we also had Senator and Governor votes, as well as some important initiatives, so it seemed like a good one to vote early on.

After we went to the pumpkin farm, a squall blew up, but afterwards there was a beautiful double rainbow. And it was nice to get some fresh air (even if it did come with 40 mph wind gusts!)

This might be your last chance to sign up for Kelli and my Spooky Season Poetry Zoom class!

Spend Sylvia Plath’s birthday writing new poems! Just in time for Spooky Season, a poetry class exploring how the natural world intersects with the supernatural with poets Kelli Russell Agodon and Jeannine Hall Gailey. Kelli and Jeannine will discuss their fascination with the natural and supernatural worlds, sharing poems by Plath and others that blur the lines between the familiar and the unknown. Together, we’ll harness this energy in our own writing, drawing inspiration from the unknown and the uncanny. This two-hour Zoom class will end with a Q&A for a deeper dive into this hauntingly beautiful topic. Join us to stir your imagination and leave with fresh drafts of new poems!

There are only a few spots left, so don’t miss out! 🦇👻🎃

Spooky Season Zoom Class with Kelli Russell Agodon, Sunflower Festivals and Local Pumpkin Farms, An Elgin Award for Flare, Corona, and Turning in a New Book

Spooky Season is Here! Sign Up for Our “Thinning Veil” Zoom Class!

Are you in the mood to write some spooky poems? Sign up for our class on “Writing Poems Where the Natural World Meets the Supernatural,” with me and Kelli Russell Agodon! October 27th from 4 PM to 6:30 Pm Pacific.

Here’s the class description and a registration link:

The Thinning Veil: Writing Poems About Where the Natural and Supernatural Worlds Meet

Register Now!

Sunflower Festivals and Local Pumpkin Farms, Manic Energy and Reading

Hot air balloon over sunflowers, JB Growers Pumpkin Farm

We’ve been very lucky with our October this year, with many days in the sixties with sunshine. JB Growers held a sunflower festival during one of these sunny days, and we arrived just as a hot air balloon went up over the sunflower fields. I mean, picture-perfect! So there are a few pictures of Glenn and I goofing around at the festival at the JB Growers Pumpkin Farm and Puzzle Patch.

I know that there are not a lot of warm sunny days left in this season, which lends these days a kind of manic energy, jumping out of bed too early and going to bed way too late. Plus, a comet and auroras—it’s a weird time for solar weather! If your energy feels unsettled, maybe that’s part of it. I’m calming myself down with reading Ina Garten’s memoir, Be Ready When the Luck Happens (which has great book PR tips in it, surprisingly) and re-reading Karen Russell’s St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves (for my book club). Also, I submitted the manuscript for my next book! That should help. I usually write (and submit) much better when I get finished with one book and can start a new project. Are you this way too?

An Elgin Prize Nod for Flare, Corona

Very honored that Flare, Corona won third prize in the SFPA’s 2024 Elgin Award for full-length collections. Congrats to all the winners! My previous book, Field Guide to the End of the World, won first prize, so I have to say they’ve been very supportive of my work.

This little piece of good news was so encouraging. Every little review, award, mention, and sale for a poetry book matters. So thank you to the SFPA voters. And thank you to everyone who has bought a copy of Flare, Corona, read it, reviewed it anywhere, said something nice about it to a stranger, etc.

Hot air balloon rising over sunflowers, JB Growers Pumpkin Farm

When You Turn In Your Next Book…

When the editor of BOA Editions Ltd. called me and told me they wanted to publish Flare, Corona, I was so happy. BOA is a dream press for me. So turning in my next book manuscript has been a little fraught. You want the book to be perfect, to live up to expectations, to be funny and moving and exciting. I have been working on the manuscript for years, but I never felt it was close enough to be “done” before this.

The phenomenon that accompanies this is like…oh no! I should have done x, y and z to it too! But there is such a thing as over-editing a book before you get some feedback from your editor. (Yes, I have had poet friends read it over, which is an important step too.) And just like the hot air balloon over a field of sunflowers, you feel a little lighter once you turn in your book. Like, you can now start a new project. Do I know exactly what the new project is yet? No. But I’ll keep writing poems, and eventually, a picture or story will emerge, and it will become the next book. Which is to say—this is all an exercise in hope. Hope that BOA likes my next book; hope that I will continue to write new poems; hope that there is an audience out there for my work. Not just hope, but maybe an exercise in faith.

McMurtrey’s Pumpkin Farm pumpkin display

I hope that as fall continues, you will stay safe, write and read wonderful work, and take care of yourselves. There is a LOT of bad news out there right now—wars, the election, hurricanes and their aftermaths, plus the regular ups and downs of life. What can we do in the face of all that? Yes, we can donate to charities, spend time on the most important causes volunteering, and doing what we can to make the world a better place. We are not completely powerless, though it may feel that way sometimes. (And of course, please register and vote, vote, vote, because even if it doesn’t feel like we make a difference, we can.)  I believe in the value of art, of creativity, of kindness. I’m worried, too—about friends and family struggling with health issues, and I’m supposed to spend four hours on Thursday getting an un-fun infusion at the hospital downtown (so think good thoughts for me if you can spare them). But I hope that we can find enough beauty and joy to battle our anxiety, anger, fear, and grief. Wishing you all a week ahead filled not just with worry, but with hope.

Away at a Writing Retreat on San Juan Island, Chance to Rethink My Manuscript and My State of Mind

At a Writing Retreat on San Juan Island, a Chance to Rethink my Manuscript and State of Mind

Thank goodness for writing residencies! I’d been in a bit of a funk lately, and what I really needed was a chance to change my focus (I almost wrote foxus, and you’ll see why later) and think about my project in a new way. The residency is at a marine wildlife center in Friday Harbor on San Juan Island (WA). There’s no television or radio (or guarantee of electricity all the time), but it’s right on the harbor and perfect as a place to write. In fact, I wrote two new poems, sent out two submissions, and reconsidered my next manuscript in a way that I hope will make it much better. But it wasn’t really about productivity—it was about not listening to the news but listening to the ocean—not looking at screens but looking into fields for foxes—about paying attention to the light instead of listening to my anxieties.

Dancing foxes

Besides spending time in nature, I ended up talking to people on trails, nature photographer hobbyists like me, grandmother-aged skinny dippers. Besides leaving me wishing for more zoom on my shots (almost everyone there had a more expensive, better zoom lens than I did, which allowed them to get better fox pictures! Jealous!), I felt like I was part of a community. Loving nature is something I had in common with these people—all so joyous. And I got to witness the coolest thing ever—fox dancing! A black fox and a red fox both got up on their hind legs, put their paws together, and twirled around for about four minutes. My pic isn’t spectacular, but you have to realize it was so amazing to see.

In the five days or so I was away, I took a look at my manuscript not poem by poem, but the big picture—how do the sections hang together? what’s the trajectory of the book? what’s the story behind the story? Turns out it was time for some reshuffling, some deletions, some additions, and focusing on the story. And also, something about taking photographs—and waiting for the light—got me thinking about the right timing in books, the right light, so to speak. It takes time to see your own books—the shifts in tone, the difference in cadences—in the right light.

California quail

I was also thinking of the changes I’ve seen on San Juan Island over the last 20 years I’ve been visiting. In some ways, more dramatic than those in my neighborhood in Woodinville. This year, for the first time ever, I saw two gigantic bevy of quail. Like, 13 or 14 at a time. The rabbits—nearly non-existent in 2021 due to a disease that killed many—have recovered to numbers I hadn’t seen in ten years. The deer were fewer. The foxes were shyer but looked healthier—which meant they weren’t begging humans for food due to starvation, which was good. (Although I miss having foxes that came right up to me, I’d much rather they be healthy.) Besides the fox dancing behavior, I also learned that the black fox mutation in red foxes, pretty rare in nature, is really prevalent here. So just like me, the black fox is a mutant! Some distant pics below. But on the whole, taking this break helped my outlook, and reminded me of why I bother to write and fight for my health despite setbacks. With even limited internet and phone service, it was also a break from a constant stream of media, mostly negative.

So, we had a lovely boat ride home, but we were pretty exhausted by the time we got back. One thing we didn’t see on the island…any pumpkin farms or U-pick apple farms, which since the island is covered in farms (including an alpaca farm!), seemed like a missed opportunity. Good thing the Sunflower Festival started at the pumpkin farm in Woodinville. I’ll post about that in the next post! Hope you are all well, and wishing you a happy mid-October.

Also, there are still some spots left for my upcoming class with Kelli Russell Agodon: The Thinning Veil: Writing Poems Where Natural and Supernatural Worlds Meet. Don’t forget to register here.