More Sunflowers and Dahlias in Late August, Thinking About the Balance of Re-Entry and the Effects of the Pandemic on Art and Artists, and What’s on the Horizon

Me and Glenn with pale lemon sunflowers

More Sunflowers and Dahlias in Late August

Late August can be really beautiful here, or hot, stagnant and miserable, and this week had days that were over 90 and beautiful days in the 70s. Today was one of those cooler days, so we took advantage and went out a bit in the neighborhood, including a flower stand and the new J.B. Grower’s Lavender and Flower Farm. This visit, there were totally different flowers – pale sunflowers, teddy bear sunflowers, zinnias, and dahlias, as well as violet-streaked sunflowers. The birds and butterflies make so much noise out there that literally think you’ve been transported, even though you’re just down the street from your house. Here are a few pictures from our visit, purple-streaked dahlia, white sunflower closeups, zinnias, and a pair of house finches.

At an unnamed flower stand in Woodinville, dahlias and sunflowers

Thinking More about Balance of Re-Entry

I was talking to my family about the careful balance of re-entering the world after two and a half years of basically living in a bubble. Tomorrow, I’m having over a poet friend and I’m looking forward to making friends at our new Woodinville book club at J. Bookwalters. But I have to be careful – I still haven’t gotten covid, though I have friends who are getting it for the first time and family who are getting it the second and third time. I’ve been talking about re-entering the working world a bit more, with my MS vocational therapist, talking about setting limits and boundaries, balancing my ambition and physical limits. I’m cautiously optimistic, I guess – and hoping to stay healthy enough for AWP in Seattle and my April book launch.

Violet-tinged sunflowers

But how do we know what’s safe, with the confusing and often contradictory guidelines about covid, and is life ever really safe for those of us who are immune compromised? I nearly died from complications of pneumonia from the swine flu and people barely made a big deal of it of swine flu. I think about how the pandemic will affect art for the years to come – and artists who’ve suffered from complications of covid – the way the 1918 flu affected art and artists. Will people want to read, or see art, or hear music about the experiences of loss, isolation, and anxiety that came with this pandemic? Will people want to stamp out the last few years in denial?  Americans don’t like dealing with death, and they certainly don’t like dealing with mass death.

Glenn and I with teddy bear sunflowers

As the summer seems to be drawing to a close, and people are talking about a fall rise in covid cases, new variants, new vaccines and how well they might work, I am looking forward to the natural increase in writing energy I get when it gets a little cooler – the “back to school” feeling that never really goes away. Getting pens and books and writing projects in order, taking a look at revamping the wardrobe (maybe getting rid of some of the slouchier cocooning clothing I have been wearing, and getting rid of things that don’t fit or remind me of things I can’t do any more (like high heeled shoes and boots), to make room for the new. I don’t really know what’s around the corner.

I know there will be struggle, difficulty, and loss – at my age, losing friends and family and dealing with aging issues like dental work and physical therapy, are pretty normal – but I also think this is an age when we should really be reevaluating what has worked for us, what we need to get rid of  – whether physical or attitude or other – and what we are looking forward to in the next decade.

Mt Rainier with sunflower fields, Woodinville

What’s On the Horizon

So, my goals for the next year include reaching out and strengthening old friendships and making new friends, doing my best to launch my next book, getting healthy enough to be able to do AWP without too much hardship, increasing my reading and writing time. As I ease back into doing things in person, I’m hoping I can stay as safe as possible with the help of scientists and a good medical team and good sense, as well as (hopefully) the respect and care of people around me. What are your goals? How have they been reshaped during the pandemic years?

This view of Mt Rainier over sunflowers strikes me as incredibly inspiring, a sign of better things ahead. Just a few months ago, I was not expecting to be making friends at local wineries and farms, but I have, or starting a book club, or thinking about working again. I’ve realized that we have to work our priorities for joy as well as our realistic preparations for hardship into some kind of balance. Maybe this is part of getting older – we can see both joy and sadness on the horizon but try to focus on appreciating the beauty we have today. Being thankful for today – for sunflowers, for a summer day with clean air and relatively cool temperatures, for the people in our life, for the ability to enjoy the art of others and to contribute to the world.

A Poem Up On Verse Daily, AWP News, Hot Air Balloons, Hot Weather and MS, Woodinville Read Between the Vines Book Club,

Hot air balloon, above my house

AWP News and Hot Air Balloons

So I had the good news that three of my AWP panels were accepted, which was the first time that’s ever happened to me, but I can only be on two. So I’ll be on the panel I’m moderating, “Mutant, Monster, Myself: Writing the Disabled/Chronically Ill Body,” and another, “Your Best Book Launch: Publicity for Poets.”  So get ready for the Seattle AWP in March! I’ve got to stay healthy because that will also likely be the setting for the first appearance of my next book Flare, Corona, from BOA Editions. I love hometown AWPs, because you can show your friends around the best coffee shops and bookstores and hang out at the bookfair and still go home and sleep in your own bed. You can drive your own car and bring water to people and take people to offsite readings. It’s really much better for those of us who are disabled/chronically ill as well because we don’t have to stress out about how to get from point a to point b (at least, we’ve been to point a and point b before) or where we’ll eat or how safe the hotel rooms will be. I’m wondering if by March covid will be less of an issue? I can see it if we get more antivirals and new vaccines…maybe? So, this hot air balloon which rose over my house a few days ago in the late summer heat, a symbol of peace? hope?

Cafe au Lait dahlia in my garden

A Poem, “When I Try to Write an Elegy,” Up on Verse Daily Today!

“When I Try to Write an Elegy” by Jeannine Hall Gailey from REDACTIONS (versedaily.org)

Thank you to Verse Daily and to Redactions for featuring my poem, “When I Try to Write an Elegy,” from the latest issue of Redactions, up on Verse Daily today! Link above (and sneak peek below…) This poem is going to be in my upcoming book from BOA Editions, Flare, Corona!

Hot Weather and MS and Dipping My Toes Back in the Working World

I haven’t been up to much this week as we had several days of 90 degrees and not-great-air quality, so it was nice today, a slightly cooler day, to get out and about – I got my hair cut (see left,) walked around Kirkland a bit admiring some roses, and stopped by our local garden to pick up sweet corn. Even that much exhausted me – summer is not a great time for MS patients, as you may know if you have any MS folks in your life – the heat and humidity can feel like a nauseating weighted blanket. I haven’t had as much energy for writing or submitting as I wanted, but I’m hoping to get back in the groove by September.

I’m also considering starting up an hourly PR coaching business, maybe just a few hours a month to start, to help people get going on their books, small businesses, or projects. What do you think? I feel like I want to do more than just freelance writing, something that helps people, and also something that helps me dip my toes back it the working world. Even with MS, I feel like I have more to give than I’ve been giving, if you know what I mean.

Here are a few more scenes from late August in Kirkland and Woodinville this week:

Woodinville “Read Between the Wines” Book Club to Officially Start September 14!

Here’s the official graphic for the book club I’ll be hosting at J. Bookwalter Tasting Studio in Woodinville. First meet-up will be on September 14, and here’s a link to more about the event. 

The book we’re discussing Fake Like Me, is an art thriller combined with a clever new take on Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca. It should be fun! The wines at J. Bookwalter all have literary-themed names and both the outdoor and indoor spaces are lovely – I’m going to try to have the first event outdoors if the weather holds up!

Anyway, I hope to see some of you there!

What a Week! Some Fall Poems, More Info about the Woodinville Wine and Book Club, Woodinville Wildlife and Flowers, and More

Purple dahlias at a neighbor’s, Woodinville

What a Week! Some Fall Poems and More…

It’s been a week, right? Ex-President’s houses searched by the FBI, Salmon Rushdie’s horrible attack, polio in the wastewater in NYC, celebrity deaths—I mean, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d turned off the news. I had my own little dramas too—an unexpected allergic reaction to fruit (a rare cross-pollen reaction?), a triage nurse yelling at me to go the hospital, a flat tire.

But among all those things, the dahlias go on blooming, a Sturgeon supermoon rose beautiful and orange, the Pleiades appear overhead. Despite the stress, I tried to pay attention to the small wonders of late August.

More Info on the Woodinville Wine and Book Club

So, the Woodinville Wine and Book Club will officially start on Wednesday, September 14, and our first book up for discussion is the brilliant Fake Like Me by Barbara Bourland. It’s an art mystery combined with a clever contemporary retelling of the Daphne du Maurier classic thriller, Rebecca. It’s happening from 6-8 PM at J. Bookwalter’s Winery in Woodinville. (The owner is a lover of all things literary, and the wines all have literary themes!) I’m going to lead the discussion, and wine and snacks will be available from the winery. The first meeting should be outdoors, if weather permits.

I’m really excited to start talking books and (hopefully) meeting up with friends in my own neighborhood. So many of my writer friends have either moved far away or live far away, and I feel like Woodinville, though it has lots going for it, has been lacking in cultural venues and opportunities for hanging out with like-minded book lovers. Hope this will make that better!

Supporting Local Businesses – Wineries and Flower Farms

Speaking of things that make life better, after a very stressful day – I had a sleep study this week (that I failed—remind me that I don’t sleep well hooked up to wires, ha), an allergic reaction, a triage nurse yelling at me to go the ER (I’m fine, thanks), and a blown tire that required a visit to the dealership to fix – I decided to take Glenn to a local winery, Otis Kenyon, here in Woodinville, to try a rare wine, Carménère, that’s extinct in its native France but still survives here in Washington, as well as Venezuela and Australia. I can’t actually drink much wine (histamine reactions), but Glenn definitely deserved it after going downtown to pick up and drop off the sleep study at the hospital, fixing a flat and putting on a spare tire in about fifteen minutes, and finishing up a very challenging class in his Masters program. And I love the idea of an extinct wine finding new life. And it’s always fun to pop in to the neighborhood small wineries and chat with the folks there – probably Woodinville at its friendliest! Everyone has an opinion about wine, the neighborhood, the flowers…

And then a visit to the new flower farm for some time in nature – and more pictures. Corn will be there next week! Once again, the new JB Family Grower’s lavender farm has acres of flowers to explore, photograph, inhale. It’s primarily a lavender farm, but the lavender plants are young. (But lookout Sequim when the plants get older—we’ll have lavender to rival yours right here in my neighborhood!) That’s okay—lots of different varieties of sunflower, dahlia, zinnia, and wildflower provide a lot of beauty—and this week the goldfinches had found the sunflowers, so they were darting and singing all around us. Magical! This time I brought home a bouquet of pale white and red sunflowers, and matching dahlias. It was a good ending to a difficult and stressful week. And I finally slept “normally” last night. (No sleep study gear really helps!)

Pileated Woodpecker perched on my deck

Finally, a Few Fall Poems…

Live Encounters kindly reposted a few fall poems of mine from a little while ago…maybe it will remind you that many writers’ favorite season is on the way! I hope you enjoy them. And enjoy this pileated woodpecker—we also had deer visitors who ate the last of my roses. I hope that August will be kind to us the rest of this month…

The poems, “Last Flowers,” “Charmed,” “Halloween 2018,” and “November Dark” are available at this link. 

A New Flower Farm in the Neighborhood, the Frustrations of Health Stuff (When All the Doctors Are Quitting,) Trying to Write a Poem a Day and How Is It August Already

Glenn and I in a field of sunflowers

Welcoming a New Lavender and Flower Farm to the Neighborhood

Sometimes there are unwelcome changes in your neighborhood (like a local horse farm being turned into condos) but sometimes there are welcome changes, like a sod farm (with an excellent view of Mt Rainier) being turned into a gigantic lavender and flower farm down the street from your house! JB Family Growers decided to covert a large (and I mean, bigger than several football fields) stretch of sod farm—which has been there as long as I’ve known anything about Woodinville—into a farm, starting with planting thousands of baby lavender plants, as well as patches of sunflowers, wildflowers, snapdragons, and dahlias, all of which are “u-pic” for little bouquets. It’s something that adds so much beauty (not to mention pollinator-friendliness) to our neighborhood—I can’t wait to take friends here, especially when the lavender fields grow up. And they’re expanding into a larger pumpkin patch, corn, and sunflower farm around the corner this fall. So we have that to look forward to in October. I swear, growing up on a farm in Tennessee means I feel more comfortable on farms than in the burbs—I love talking to the people that work there, buying local, and supporting their businesses.

I had a whole week of frustrating health stuff (lots of doctor appointments, lots of trying to track down new doctors after my old ones have quit/retired suddenly) but on Friday we had perfect weather—about seventy-five degrees and sunny—and decided to plan a visit to the new Flower Farm. It was so exhilarating just to feel immersed in so many flowers! I couldn’t put down my camera!

Triple pink lilies from my own garden!

Trying to Write a Poem a Day

I am not usually a write-a-poem-a-day type of person—I tend to write poems in groups—but I hadn’t been writing as much as I liked this summer, so I was happy to join a few friends in the venture. I’ve only written a couple I’m happy with, but the writing part is good for me.  I get a little cranky when I don’t write for long stretches.

I also need to catch up on submitting poems—and I’m trying to do some “new book” planning for next year as well. I still haven’t found perfect cover art for Flare, Corona, yet, despite a lot of looking. I need to order new business cards too (the ones I have use an older e-mail address) in time for next year’s Seattle AWP! I’m so excited to be seeing friends next year!

Anna’s hummingbird closeup

Frustrating Health Stuff (When All Your Doctors Are Quitting)

So I may have mentioned I had a different doctor’s appointment every day this week—and trying to track down new hematologists and an Ob/Gyn who’s experienced with bleeding disorders—both of which have been really hard. I’m sure a lot of people are dealing with this, as there’s been a bit of a mass exodus of doctors of a certain age—and even young doctors—after the burnout and frustrations of the last few years. And certain specialists are difficult to replace, especially when they have the narrow experience you need. So that’s been a lot of time on the phone and portals. On the plus side, no skin cancer (all of my immediate family has had basal cell carcinoma, so getting that skin check is important) and the dermatologist didn’t try to sell me any skin treatments! I felt a little disappointed, given my age. Shouldn’t they be trying to upsell me a bunch of stuff? LOL. Anyway, still thankful for the good doctors that stay and hoping I find a good fit for some of the more difficult specialties.

August Sunset from our deck

Can You Believe It’s August Already?

Yes, it’s August of 2022 already! Still dealing with Covid emergencies, and now Monkeypox has been declared a national emergency. Hey, can we get over one pandemic before starting another? Also, the realization that this is almost the end of summer, which seems literally to have just begun (right after July 4th, I believe). My garden is providing vases full of sweetpeas, roses, and dahlias, and I’ve got to start laying a foundation for promoting my new book next year for BOA. It really does take a lot of advance planning to launch even a little poetry book! Also, all of our outdoor projects have to get done before the rain starts again. The last couple weeks I’ve had various illnesses and health troubles, which always sets me back in my summer ambitions, but August tends to be a weird time for me, health-wise—maybe it’s the heat? Anyway, who’s ready for September?

A Week of Heat Waves, Bad Air, Sunflowers, and ER Visits

Red sunflower, grown from seed

A Week of Heat Waves, Bad Air, Sunflowers, and ER Visits

So, this week I’ve been sick, like going to the Urgent Care (tested strep and covid free) and then the hospital a few days later (got a little dehydrated – it’s been super hot, over 90 every day, I’d been running a fever and having stomach issues.) It’s been a while since I’ve been this sick – unlike a lot of people, I’m not a “haven’t even gotten a cold during the pandemic” person – but I hadn’t been put down by a minor virus in a while. It’s very humbling to realize your body tangles with a virus – probably a little-kid virus, gotten at the symphony, is the doctors’ consensus – and you’re down for the week. A week of above 90 temps and bad air didn’t really help. I couldn’t really go out at all during the day, which made me very stir crazy.

I wish I could say that I spent my time improving myself but nope! Just trying desperately to keep myself and my poor garden alive. (Hydration is very important for flowers AND humans, it turns out, in this kind of heat, as I was reminded by the ER doc before he put an IV liter of fluids in me.) Also a week of socializing leads to a down week, almost every time. I loved going to the symphony and the poetry reading, but my immune system did not.

Flicker in my garden box

I watched the new Jurassic Park, which made me happy by having dinosaurs, finally, with fur and feathers as discovered in recent fossil record, and displeased Glenn by showing dinosaurs in the snow, which he absolutely insists is not physically possible (though paleontologists might argue with him on this point.) As usual, I was cheering for the dinosaurs and noticed a not-thinly-veiled covid metaphor in the Bill-Gates-type Billionaire of a Monsanto-type company who was delivering genetically-altered locusts to kill his competitors non-genetically modified crops. Clear covid metaphor, right? Maybe not.

I also read a few books, none of which stuck with me, which happens when I’m sick. On the plus side, did get a few shots of goldfinches and sunflowers, as well as a curious flicker in my flower box. I hope you enjoy them. I promise to have a more thoughtful post next week when the air is cooler and I am not as sick. (One bit of good poetry news: I got my first blurb for my upcoming book Flare, Corona, and it was so great that it brought tears to my eyes! I’ll post it at a later date…)

Hugo House Reading Report, Starting a Book Club in Woodinville Wine Country, Inching Towards Normalcy

Swallowtail butterfly on pink lilac

Hugo House In-Person Reading Report

Well, I survived my first live reading in two and a half years, and really enjoyed listening to the other readers. Thanks to Lesley and Hugo House for making it happen!

It was great to hang out with other poets and the audience on a summer afternoon (thank goodness for air conditioning) and it was nice to have a Q&A afterwards to talk about poetry. I had a hard time navigating Hugo House’s stage (which has three steep steps and no hand railing – heads up for disabled poets reading there) but no trouble with the mike or the reading itself, which was a relief (I worried I had forgotten how to read in person!)

Lesley and I in Woodinville

Below is a shot Glenn took of all the readers post-reading (keep in mind we had masks on all night and the light was weird) and a shot of the books for sale. Martha and Lesley are always a pleasure to hear, and I think this might have been the first time I’d heard Rena, our current WA State Poet Laureate, read, and it was delightful. And it made me feel like a real writer again. And it’s good practice for next year’s book launch!

And I was lucky enough that I got to have a little pre-reading time earlier in the week with Lesley and her charming husband and daughter in Woodinville for some wine-tasting and catching up. Unfortunately the lavender farm didn’t open up in time to take them on a tour, but hopefully it will open next week? I always love showing out-of-town writers Woodinville – it really is a beautiful part of town, a little out of way of the usual tourist attractions.

Immature goldfinch with sunflower

Starting a Book Club in Woodinville Wine Country (and Inching Towards Normalcy)

So I’m meeting with a winery person tonight to talk about starting a book club that will meet there on a regular basis – along with a quarterly open mike. (I’m thinking: literary/art-oriented mystery, speculative novel, poetry book, open mike as the rotation.) I have been lamenting the lack of literary culture in Woodinville, so maybe this is at least a part of what I’ve been looking for – and a way to ease into socialization (again, in real life – I never stopped talking to folks on the phone or on Zoom) again.

I had a writer’s group I attended on Bainbridge Island for over a dozen years – which was wonderful for my writing and that feeling of isolation you can get as a writer – and I’ve missed it since it dissolved a few years before the pandemic. I know there must be other book people on the East side – or even beyond – that would enjoy talking about books and trying out writer-and-book themed wines and an occasional open mike reading.

I’m also thinking about looking for work again – I don’t know health-wise how much I can take on, so I’ve been trying some freelance and volunteer projects to gauge how I do with deadlines these days.

Hot Air Balloon, Yellow, afternoon light

You can tell that I’m taking baby steps towards post-pandemic normalcy, though our covid numbers here are high and I’m still hyper-aware of the risks as an immune-suppressed person. (Had my first PCR test in a while right after the poetry reading, just being extra careful.) Just like the hot air balloons that have suddenly started appearing in our skies again, I’m trying out things – poetry readings, the symphony last week, and making in-person dates with friends – that hopefully herald better times ahead. Maybe things are finally looking up?

By the way, if you’d be interested in this book club thing at a winery in Woodinville, please leave a comment or contact me. We’d love to have you!

New Poems in Redactions, an Upcoming Reading at Hugo House, Symphonies, Supermoons and Sunsets

Two Poems in the New Issue of Redactions

Thank you to Redactions for publishing two new poems of mine, one of which will be in my upcoming book from BOA Editions! As you can see, all the cool cats are talking about the new issue!

Here’s a sneak peek at one of the poems, “When I Try to Write an Elegy:”

From Redactions

Immature Anna’s hummingbird, perched, with charm

Upcoming Reading and Conversation at Hugo House on July 20th

My first reading since February 2020 – and it will be with a group of terrific poets. We’re going to talk about the importance of poetry in navigating our lives and then read a few poems. Here’s a flyer – fancy, right?

I hope I remember how to dress, speak in public, and talk about poetry with reasonable intelligence. It’s been so long! It will not be zoomed or recorded (because the WA State Poet Laureate will be there – some clause in their contract?) but it is free and it will be fun!

Pileated Woodpecker in flight

Symphonies, Sunsets, and Supermoons

It’s been a busy week! Glenn had a birthday, we visited with my little brother Mike, Glenn tore his rotator cuff, we’re getting ready to visit with friends from out of town tomorrow, and we were gifted with tickets to the symphony – something we haven’t gone to since way before the pandemic – this one was a Harry Potter themed Symphony! It was nerve-wracking (everyone was masked, but hadn’t been indoors with that many people in a long while) but the audience was enthusiastic and full of people dressed in costumes and children so it was pretty uplifting (and a female conductor, which was pretty cool!) We had expensive orchestra seats (once again, we were gifted these – unfortunately, because someone who had bought the tickets caught covid) and we got dressed up, which will mean that’s the second time this month I had to put on real clothes, makeup, and real shoes (not slippers!) I mean, that’s a lot of socializing for someone who’s pretty much been hermiting for two and a half years.

We also had our first dry week in a long time, and already my grass (less of it than there used to be, but still) is crunchy and I’m trying to keep the birds watered with three separate bird baths and fountains. The sun stays up late, the sunsets have been beautiful and we had a clear night to see the brightest supermoon of the year. The garden is still blooming – roses, sunflowers, lilacs (again?), lavender and lots of pollinator-friendly little plants. So here are a few pictures of just how beautiful it is in the Pacific Northwest when summer finally arrives.

Anniversaries, Snoqualmie Falls, Upcoming Poetry Events – and Continued Uncertainty

Glenn and I at Snoqualmie Falls

Anniversaries and Snoqualmie Falls

Glenn and I celebrated our 28th anniversary today and spent the day at Snoqualmie Falls and Ollalie State Park. It’s a wonderful thing on a warm sunny day to drive into the somewhat cooler mountains, watching the skyline turn into massive rocky cliffs and forests. We stopped by a lavender farm – not open til next week to purchase lavender, but still beautiful – on the way up, and there was a farm stand selling a quart of cherries for $3. Which is a much better deal than you’ll get at, say Whole Foods, and they taste better. On the drive up, we noticed the wildflowers – foxgloves or lupines – that grew along the sides of the mountains.

My Twin Peaks-esque shot of today’s view of the falls

The larger falls were mobbed with tourists but Ollalie’s smaller falls had only one other person, a teen throwing rocks into Snoqualmie river. I bought some local honey – I’m always tempted by the Twin Peaks stuff (Salish Lodge, where we stay, is in the credits of the opening of Twin Peaks, and a lot of the town staples.) I didn’t turn on the television once the whole day, and I’m only now sitting down at the computer.

This whole week has been lovely, mostly sunny and in the seventies, and we’ve visited two wineries and been enjoying our birds and our garden. We are really like old people, aren’t we? Glenn’s birthday is coming up next week so we plan to do a low-key celebration of that. It got me thinking about my own 50th birthday next year. Will it be safe to have a real party?

Me with summer white rose bower

Upcoming Poetry Events at Hugo House

My friend Lesley Wheeler is coming into town and I’ll be doing a reading and discussion with her and several other poets at Hugo House on July 20. This is the first in-person poetry event I’ve done since February 2020 – which, ironically, was also with Lesley, at Open Books!

Lesley’s promoting her excellent book of poetry criticism/memoir, Poetry’s Possible Worlds, which I continue to recommend to everyone. I’m looking forward to it/feeling anxious about it – covid is still a threat, I’m on the approved list to get Evushield (a preventitive monoclonal antibody treatment for vulnerable individuals who have allergies to the MRNA shots, among others) but haven’t been able to receive it yet – but I miss human interaction, and that is the truth, especially other writers. And because this is a discussion and reading, it’ll be a little more relaxed and conversational than just a reading alone which is a nice way to slide back into public readings. Because, after all, my new book will be out before you know it – next spring is not that far away anymore. I keep wondering – will covid still be a threat? Will things in America be better or worse? The song says, “Que Sera, Sera”…but I find it hard to be that sanguine. Anyway I hope to see some of your friendly faces soon!

Finding a Way to Destress and Refocus in a Time of Chaos, Independence Day (But Not for Women, Apparently) and Looking at Living in a New Country

Glenn and I at Apple Farms wineries with roses and lavender

Finding a Way to Destress and Refocus in a Time of Chaos

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been struggling with the destruction of women’s rights, the environment, and the elevation of guns over lives by the Supreme Court, as well as a pandemic that hasn’t slowed down and a coming recession. Personally, I’ve also been fighting with health challenges, feeling discouraged about being a poet in general, stressing about my upcoming book and the larger issue of how to spend my upcoming years – where to live, how to work, and how to balance life’s stressors.

Today and yesterday, we did spend some time outdoors in the sun, the weather was perfect and mellow, and we just walked among the beautiful blooms around Woodinville. We stopped in for a wine tasting today and noticed that there’s a new lavender farm opening up just down the street from our house in two weeks. Being so down, it’s been an effort for me even to garden or do my photography, which are two of my usual stress-reducers. So, I’m trying to remind myself not just of the beauty around me, but trying to care for the animal self – the self that runs on too much cortisol in a fight-or-flight state all the time. I’m reading novels, and I watched Everything Everywhere All at Once, a comedy-sci-fi-martial-arts movie that’s really about an older woman’s ability to understand her place in the universe, her family, and her work. It really resonated with me, especially since I’d just finished Diane Johnson’s Lorna Mott Comes Home, which deals with similar issues in a less multiverse-centric way. Here are a few pictures I managed to snap this week.

Goldfinch looks askance at fountain

Independence Day (But Not for Women, Apparently) and Looking at Living in Another Country

Like a lot of American women, I am not feeling especially enthusiastic about celebrating independence day, given that America just took the rights to our bodies away from us – affecting everything from my friends no longer being able to get medicine for rheumatoid arthritis (because it might affect a fetus) to people no longer wanting to stay in the states they’ve been living in because they, like I, have a health condition that might kill them if they got pregnant. Now, even before this ruling, pregnant women and babies have the highest death rates in America of any developed nation- showing that America does not actually care about life, just about controlling women’s bodies. This is not a joke – to many of us, this is life or death. There are women’s strikes and protests going on in many cities on July 4.

Female hummingbird drinking from fountain

I looked at women’s rights in countries around the world, and found that most of them, including some you wouldn’t guess, are more progressive towards women than the US. Adding to the out-of-control mass shootings with no signs of stopping and the fact that you can barely get an American to read anything, much less read poetry (sorry for the generalization – but it seems awfully true these days) – I’m wondering if this is where I want to spend the rest of my life. I started researching three cities in particular – Dublin, Ireland, Paris, France, and Montreal, Canada. All three are significantly cheaper to live in than Seattle, which was a surprise, and all have good PhD program possibilities and Microsoft offices for Glenn to work from. All definitely have better, cheaper health care, especially for long-term health issues. It felt empowering to remember I am not trapped here, and no one can force me to stay in a country so hostile to women. I have actual Irish and French heritage, as well as interests in Irish and French mythologies and folklore, so that helps.

Now, moving countries is a big deal, expensive, and disruptive. I wouldn’t do it without a lot of thought. But quality of life is important, and we sometimes have to make changes to improve our quality of life. I did it twenty years ago when I moved to Seattle for a job, and I love the Pacific Northwest still. Money, culture, art, education, health care, air quality, natural beauty, access to work – all these things are going into the decision. But since 2016, I’ve just felt more and more that I don’t belong here, and America’s oppressive conservatism, as well as its lack of affordable health care and culture, are tipping the balance for me. It doesn’t help that many of my friends have moved away and many of my beloved specialists have recently quit for good. The tethers to this area are getting more tenuous…If you were a woman and a poet, where would you go right now?

America Goes Backwards 50 Years, Karyna McGlynn’s Terrific New Book, and Spending Time with Flowers When You Want to Burn It All Down

Towhee is outraged

America Goes Backwards 50 Years

This was a terrifying and terrible week for women in America. Not only did this activist awful Supreme Court turn back a gun law that had been on the books in New York State for over 100 years, as they swore they would not when they were approved by congress, they overturned Roe v Wade. As someone who uses contraceptive pills to live (literally – would not have survived without the birth control pill to control the bleeding from my heritable bleeding disorder – and getting pregnant would kill me and the baby, so that’s a big no) it makes me so angry that so many people I did not elect are controlling my medical decisions and those of half of the population. If it was about children, conservatives would pass things to feed children, educate children, keep pregnant women and babies alive (we have the worst death rate of babies and pregnant woman of any developed country), or literally anything to make sure children are taken care. Instead, they scream “life” when they are literally condemning some women and children to death, whether fast (like me, or any woman with a bleeding disorder – or a woman with an ectopic pregnancy, like many friends of mine who would have died without sacrificing the implanted cells) or slow, with no health or child-care support for women in poverty or crisis. This is no joke. It has made me consider moving to a better, more progressive country, like Ireland or France. I’m sure I’m not the only woman considering this. By the way, these laws also put the kibosh on IVF. And the Supreme Court seems likely to continue its terrible path. Am I mad? Am I protesting? But what else can I do?

purple alliums

Spending Time with Flowers (When You Want to Burn It All Down)

I’ve been so down this week. It’s also turned from freezing cold spring to blazing hot summer, in the nineties now where it was in the sixties last week. It’s horrible for anyone with MS to deal with heat and these extreme weather changes.  I can usually find some solace with flowers and birds, in nature, but it has been hard, honestly. I went to the Bellevue Botanical Gardens when it was cool enough in the evening but today it’s too hot to go anywhere. It’s pretty miserable to go from supercold and wet to superhot and dry but that’s been the pattern on the West Coast the last few years. Meanwhile, in the background like radiation ticking, people are still dying of covid, and monkeypox is spreading and the CDC does not have it under control – they’re not even testing adequately. Like they’ve learned nothing from the last pandemic. It’s shocking, and also, not shocking at all.

I thought about things we can do. We can donate money to the right causes. We can ask congress and the President to do something to stop the runaway evil train that is the Supreme Court and do things like pass sensible gun laws (some gun laws were passed this week, but pretty weak) and pass a national protection for women and doctors to make the choices about their health and bodies. These seem like reasonable things to me – and with a Democrat President and Congress you’d think we’d be able to do it, but Trump did so much damage during his Presidency that we may never be able to fix it – and the Jan 6th hearings have shown there are still people willing to kill the police they pledged to support to get their way, even if the Democratic vote says otherwise. We should be worried. But what can we do, practically? I mean, we can leave if we have the means, the health and the job flexibility. but what else?

Sylvia poses with Karyna McGlynn’s new book

Karyna McGlynn’s Got a Great New Book Out

Another coping mechanism of mine during stress is reading, and I had a wonderful new book to enjoy this week, pictured to the left. My literary cat Sylvia poses with Karyna McGlynn‘s new book from Sarabande, 50 Things Kate Bush Taught Me About the Multiverse, which is a fun, flinty, 90s-nostalgic Kate Bush love letter with terrific titles like “I Wake Up in the Underworld of My Own Dirty Purse,” which starts:

My stage name is Persephone./ I perform nightly for a smattering/ of ill-informed Tic Tacs.

And oh, any girl who went through an all-male barrage of poetry professors when they were young will immediately understand and identify with “How to Stop Raping the Muse,” with lines like

in workshop suggested/ my poems had Teeth but no Tenderness…my lines were called sharks and shameless/ hussies.

Anyway, get this book from Sarabande, terrific for a summer night read with a little rose. And maybe a cat and a typewriter. Will this solve all of our problems? No, but it will take your mind off of them for a little while.