Writing Process Blog Tour, the Supermoon, Auburn Days, and another shot postponement

Supermoon! (Perseid shower the next two nights as well!) And a little Anna’s hummingbird that guards the feeder in our back garden:

Well, the reading and panel at Auburn Days was fun, got to chat with other local city and county Poet Laureates, which was fun, but I came home feeling a bit under the weather, and woke up this morning in the full grip of an eevil upper respiratory/sore throat thing – on one of the hottest days of the year! What’s the logic of that? So we had to postpone my shot again, this time til Thursday.

Thanks to Joannie Stangeland (http://joanniestangeland.com/2014/08/blog-tour-2014-snapshot/) and Jose Angel Araguz (http://thefridayinfluence.wordpress.com/2014/08/04/my-writing-process-blog-tour/) for tagging me in this round of the Writing Process Blog Post. They’re both wonderful poets! I think I may have done this before, but I guess an update might be in order:

What am I working on?

Right now, I’m finishing up edits for my fourth book, The Robot Scientist’s Daughter, which is coming out in spring 2015 from Mayapple Press, and adding poems to my fifth manuscript, about, among other things, apocalypses, scientific scams, neurological short-outs, which is currently titled Field Guide to the End of the World.

I’ve also (shhhh) been working on some short personal essays and pieces of short fiction. I can’t say I’ve mastered the other two genres yet, but it’s kind of fun to pick up some books on writing in other genres and experiment a bit!

How does my work differ from others in its genre?/ Why do I write what I do?

Everyone’s writing mirrors their interests, the way their brain works, the language they use every day, the books they read.

I think my work reflects my interests in pop culture, science and archetypal mythology. If the question is, why I write poetry at the exclusion of other forms, well, I’m working on it!

How does my writing process work?

I often write poems after interacting with other kinds of art – visual art, music, novels, comics, movies, sometimes even just reading a news headline or seeing a particularly interesting or funny image in a magazine. I often write late at night, when my subconscious is more awake and my inner critic is a bit quieter. My earlier work was very much inspired by mythology, but I feel like lately I’ve been more inspired by science and science fiction, which means my next two books have a bit of a different flavor than my first three. In The Robot Scientist’s Daughter, for instance, there are references to radioactive elements, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Madeleine L’Engle, and The Day After Tomorrow. In my newest poems, I’ve been inspired by things like as mundane as Anthropologie catalog and even having HGTV on in the background!

I’d like to tag poet Natasha Moni, a medical student whose book The Cardiologist’s Daughter is coming out this fall! Her web site is http://www.natashamoni.com/blog

Why Bother Reviewing Poetry Books, and Auburn Days

Thanks to Robert Brewer, who put my post on reviewing poetry books up at Writer’s Digest today – check it out!

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/reviewing-poetry-books-why-does-it-matter

I hope it encourages you to write about one of your favorite poetry books for one of your favorite journals.

And since I didn’t get my weird shot today (see previous post), I slept in instead and will encourage you all to check out Auburn Days this Sunday, where I’ll be reading with a bunch of local city Poet Laureates at 2 PM and then serving on a panel called “What to Poet Laureates Actually Do?” at 2:30. Check out the entire schedule here.

Auburn is a ways out for us but Auburn Days are always a curious amount of fun. I love meeting the people there and always have a good time reading. I hope to see some of you there!

Autoimmune Diaries: Xolair Shot Number One, Wish Me Luck!

Updated Note: Due to a fairly violent allergic reaction early this AM (to goodness knows what) the first shot has been postponed til Monday. Thanks for your good thoughts for that day, now!

So, dear readers, it is with great trepidation that, because of the autoimmune issues that have plagued me since my teens, and in particular, the ones that have made eating out in a restaurant, going out in the sun, etc…impossible in the last four years, I’m trying out a new biological agent (technically chemo, a monoclonal antibody that suppresses your IgE reactions) called Xolair (real name: Omalizumab). Xolair is a once-monthly shot you get for six months, which helps asthma, allergies, angioedema (tissue swelling,) hives, and possibly even food allergies (it’s in testing for deadly food allergy treatment now). Since I have all those things, if it works, it’ll be lovely. I’m starting with one 150 mg shot, to ramp up to 300 mg in a few months if the results are good.

But the side-effects are scary. It doubles your risk for all cancers (from .02 percent (control) to .04 percent, but still), has a 2 percent risk for anaphylaxis, and a much higher risk for less frightening but still less fun things like headache, joint pain, and reactions at the injection site. A lot of people report feeling flu-like for three days after the shot. Oh, and did I mention the possible hair loss???? Yes, that’s something I’m hoping to dodge.

So it’s not a dream drug by any means. But since, for the last four years, I can’t even touch wheat without having a severe reaction, I’ve been pretty unable to travel due to things like ‘spontaneous idiopathic anaphylaxis’ – not any more fun than it sounds – and I’ve had asthma and allergy problems since I was a teen, it seems like a good risk to take. Some doctors give patients steroids before the shot, but because of my bleeding disorder, which makes steroids complicated, I’ll be going in armed only with Zyrtec and Benadryl, along with my epi-pen and inhaler (required by the doctor, ‘just in case.’)

Will you wish me luck? Another down side is you have to wait several hours in the doctor’s office after the administration, as they make sure you don’t react to it right away (although you can react after your first or second shot, and even more than 24 hours after.) So I’m stacking up books, my Kindle, and my laptop to while away the hours after I get the shot. Since I’ve had reactions even to shots as innocent as b12 shots, I’m (understandably, I hope) a little skittish. I thought seriously about making a will yesterday. (I’m 41, for God’s sake, and not immortal, so I guess it would be a grown-up thing to do anyway.) But still.

You know, one day you’re worried about your poetry book, getting your bangs trimmed, your 89-year-old grandmother’s (very similar to your) allergy problems. The next you’re all, “I hope I don’t die from this experimental chemo drug.” So, hopefully you’ll hear from me again soon, all happy that I took this crazy expensive drug and that it will have immediate positive results like, I can touch wheat again without having anaphylaxis, or I can walk briskly without having an asthma attack, or I can walk out on a summer afternoon without going red with sun-welts. (Note: results usually do not emerge for four-six months of treatment.)

Here is a picture of a grumpy heron at sunset at Juanita Bay in Kirkland, apropos of nothing. Walking around at sunset is so nice here these days…

Apocalypses, Blurbs, and Self-Portrait Poetry

First, thanks to Silver Birch Press for posting my self-portrait poem, “Self-Portrait at 39:”

http://silverbirchpress.wordpress.com/2014/08/03/self-portrait-at-39-poem-by-jeannine-hall-gailey-self-portrait-poetry-series/

Next, I have been starting to think about the realities of getting “The Robot Scientist’s Daughter” finished up and ready for putting together for early review copies, so I’m currently stressing out about blurbs. I have two really nice ones already, but waiting to hear on the last one…It’s the worst kind of anxiety, because you worry, not that the person didn’t have time to read it, but that they read it and they hated it, and you’re often asking people who aren’t lifelong best friends, but people you know just a little…

Also, okay, has anyone noticed the abundance of apocalypses in the comics, in the news, on HBO, even on Lifetime? (Yes, it’s woman-focused, called “The Lottery” in a futuristic dystopia where the government mandates fertility testing and no one has had a child in six years!!! But still, Lifetime is doing apocalypses!) I’ve even been putting together an apocalypse song playlist. And I’ve been working on a fifth manuscript that kind of teeters between autobiography and apocalypse. This poem (posted above) is part of the autobiography part.) I tried to write a poem today called “Apocalypse with Love Note from the Swamp Thing.” I don’t know that it will make it into the book…

Enjoying Woodinville After a Rough Week and Productivity in the Rain

Well, after a tough week – two fillings with no novocaine (I’m allergic), a blood draw, my grandmother in the hospital, and a couple of cold rainy days – we decided to take an afternoon off to tour Woodinville – visit Willows Lodge, pet their Vietnamese potbellied pigs, check out their herb gardens, try the ice cream at the lavender farm, and take a walk on the Sammamish River Trail as Mount Rainier shone in the background. We were celebrating that my b12 was shown to be in normal range for the first time in ten years (thanks to a new prescription called Nascobal, way for effective for me than the shots!) Also, my grandmother got out of the hospital, and my brother and sister-in-law’s continued exploring of the East side as their new home! We visited a new restaurant, The Commons in Woodinville, with good coffee, wine, excellent beer and cider on tap, and nice salads, fried Brussels sprouts, and delicious salted caramels.

Who can resist a cute pig? Not me! And he was wagging his tail!

I also worked on a new “personal essay” – a new genre that I’m trying out – and sent out an essay and a short story. It’s always nerve-wracking trying out genres outside your comfort zone! But that’s what rainy days are good for. I’m usually a zombie for a day or two after dental work, but this week, the day after the fillings, I did get to meet with a writer friend visiting Seattle for work, and that was a lot of fun! (Hopefully I wasn’t too zombie like!) We talked creative non-fiction and poetry, which was great and very encouraging.

Seattle-ites, in summer, I have to admit, aren’t very good at knuckling down and getting work done during our three sunny months. That’s why a few days of rain are not only good for our gardens and grass, but our creative and work projects! But now, another long stretch of sunny days in front of us, and I’m planting a big pink dahlia in my garden (though none of my dahlias thus far have survived, I’m an eternal flower optimist!)

Poets in the Park Recap, Concerts in Capitol Hill, and Outages

Concerts, Poets in the Park Recaps, and Tech Troubles

Here are some pics from our Poets in the Park adventures – which was great except for a tiny bit of wind and I had a bit of an asthma attack in the middle of my reading, and didn’t have my inhaler with me – I muscled through, but I can’t have been at my best. It was great to see so many friends from all over – some driving all the way from Kingston and Tacoma – and to hear so many great poets. There was even a mini-bookfair hosted by Poets in the park! I got to introduce my little brother and his wife to a lot of my friends, which was great, and my brother hadn’t heard me read since my first degree in college – so, about twenty years! Crazy! They seemed to really enjoy the readings, especially Elizabeth Austen and Kelli Agodon. (Below: the girls from Two Sylvias, me and my little brother and his wife, Kelli A and e, and my little brother and I checking out the bookfair!)

The OK Go concert was in a tiny venue – Neumos in Capitol Hill is I think the smallest venue I’ve been to for a concert, even for acts like Aimee Mann down in California, where she performs in smaller venues– and they had a teensy bit of technical trouble. I was worried about fitting in with the hipsters there, but I have to remind myself Seattle has a very low bar! (Life Lesson: stop worrying so much. Go have fun!) Anyway, the band seemed to have some trouble with their instruments, but they did sing a couple of their popular songs (I have to say that I like their older alternative-power-rock stuff better than their newer psychedelic funk stuff) as well as a duet from Les Mis, and the confetti cannons continued to function perfectly, as witnessed below. It reminded me of when Glenn and I used to go on dates when we were first dating (cough, Lisa Leob and Third Eye Blind Concerts, if that gives you any time frame reference) and also reminded me to get out into the “real world” and have fun more often. Seattle is a great music town, and has great acts in all the time – you just have to get out and go through the inconveniences (traffic, crowds, two-hour wait times, etc).

Speaking of going out into the “real world” – today I’ve had my phone, internet and cable out all day – darn lousy Comcast/Xfinity Service – a strangely helpless feeling, one I never got when I had a landline phone. And of course today I planned to send poems out and be actually productive (given the rest of the week was a wash for that sort of thing.) I’m actually thinking of going back to landline phone service, because the cable goes out frequently and has poor connection quality. (As a former telecom worker, I probably notice these problems more, and sound quality especially annoys me!) Plus, they’re better in emergency situations, when the cable would definitely go out and cell phone signals would be jammed. I was forced to be out of touch with the world for a little bit today, which felt more frustrating than relaxing (I guess I’m not one of those people that is all – oh, I’m going on a tech holiday, no phones or television, it so great!) The only thing it is good for is staunching the flow of bad news in the media, which has been pretty bad lately. So, I’ve caught up on some reading, done some chores around the house…and am so ready to have my cable/internet/phone working again! I’m posting this from Woodinville’s Barnes and Nobles, for God’s sake! What is this, 1992? #firstworldproblemsIknow

Anyway, I’m looking forward to a quieter week, catching up on and writing time, just getting out into the summer wilderness and having some fun after last week’s relentless bashing. Maybe even sending out some more CV’s and freelance queries…The first week of August I’ll start my shots of Xolair, which should help control some of my autoimmune problems, crossing fingers that there are no complications or side effects and lots of helpfulness from that! So I’m feeling optimistic, ready to crush some stuff, etc…for now, anyway!

Poets in the Park, Crazy Weeks, and Focusing on the Good

It’s been a crazy week – bad news all over the television, heat waves, giant layoffs at Microsoft (where I used to work and husband G. works now) and helping my brother move in down the street (a good thing, but still stressful). But one of my coping mechanisms for dealing with a lot of bad stuff is to try to focus on 1. things I can actually do something about and 2. the small positive things that are happening around us.

So, tomorrow is the Redmond Poets in the Park Festival, held in Anderson Park. I’ll be reading at noon with the two other Redmond Poet Laureates (Rebecca Meredith and Michael Dylan Welch) if you want to catch me! There will a bookfair, lots of other fun readings, and best of all, it’s free and it’s supposed to be slightly cooler (in the seventies rather than the nineties!) Plus, free coffee with haiku! A lot of friends will be there, and it will be good to catch up. I love having poetry in my own backyard! (Click here for more info and a detailed schedule: http://www.graceguts.com/poets-in-the-park)

One of the things Glenn and I scheduled months ago to celebrate our anniversary/his birthday was buying tickets to a concert – we try to go to at least two rock concerts every summer, because Seattle has a ton of good ones. This time it’s OK Go – known for their cool music videos – at Neumos downtown. Maybe we’re getting too old for hipster Capital Hill music venues, but we’ll try to blend! Ha! Is this a quiet week ideal for going to a concert? Probably not, but we’re going to go anyway!

So, I did have some good news this week – a lit mag I’ve been trying to get into for over ten years sent me news that I’d made it to the next round of editors – something I’d never done! I was excited until I second-guessed myself and started thinking “is this even something I should get excited about?” But, in poetry, there are really so few big wins and so many discouragements – so I think I’m going to go ahead and be happy. At least if I get a rejection, I’ll know two poems made it into the final rounds! So, cross your fingers for me!

20th Anniversary (or, celebrating between other stuff)

So, what happens when you try to celebrate your 20th wedding anniversary during a really busy month in between classes and family visits and various other commitments and can’t get away for a “real” trip? You sneak away for a night in wine country, of course! That’s Mt. Rainier on our anniversary, Glenn harvesting u-pick lavender at Woodinville Lavender farm, me holding a kir royale at the outdoor wine bar while live music plays in the background, and Glenn and I playing around in a very warm but pleasantly fragrant lavender festival! (Glenn had chocolate Chardonnay ice cream! There were kids running through sprinklers and lavender cooking demos!) The Willows Lodge in Woodinville has always been great as a quick getaway, they upgraded our room and gave us complimentary chocolate-covered strawberries, and we basically tried to relax for 24 hours in between the crazy goings on in the rest of our lives. In summer, as you can see, Seattle is pretty much as beautiful as the South of France and Northern California combined. Now, the rest of the year…well, that’s why we have coffee shops and bookstores.

We have a string of 90-plus days going on here, which is pleasant if you either have a pool or air conditioning…or both. I’ve been taking my nightly walks after 9 PM to avoid the sun (as you can see, I never tan, I just turn red!) Trying to get the house ready for visitors again, as we’re playing host to my little brother and his wife as they transition to their new home here in Washington. And I’m also applying for jobs (!!) and trying to get my exercise levels up (anytime I’m relatively healthy, I try to this, and of course it helps to get outside a lot, which is not as pleasant in January as it is in July!) I’ve been optimistic I’ll be able to find something, but MFA low-residency jobs are hard to come by. I’ve been sending out freelance writing queries, and even sending out my (gulp) fifth book manuscript. It seems I am riding a little wave of energy and optimism, and of course celebrating 20 years with my sweet husband, which makes me very thankful! I’ve written some poems I’m happy with in the last few weeks as well.

So, if you’ve been anticipating an e-mail or other correspondence from me, I’ve got a crazy July going on, but I promise I’ll get to it just as soon as I can! Enjoy the sunshine!

Happy 4th! And Apocalypses, Prose Poems, and the Power of The Company of Others

It’s another fourth of July, and G. and I are celebrating by watching the fireworks tonight in Kirkland, making a gluten-free holiday feast-type thing, appropriately-colored red-white-and-blue potato salad, dairy-free corn chowder with fennel and potatoes, grilled watermelon and cherry salsa, fresh picked blueberries and peas from our backyard garden, and yes, maybe some traditional American grilled steak. Hmm, it sounds like a lot of food! Maybe we’ll take some extra over to a friend!

(PS – Best melancholy 4th of July song ever? Aimee Mann’s “Fourth of July” – Click here if you haven’t heard it…)

I’ve been writing an “apocalyptic” book manuscript for the last couple of years, and so I thought I’d put together a little class on prose poetry and apocalypses, thinking these are the perfect match. I’m reading through old anthologies (not enough apocalypse, but plenty of prose poems, or, plenty of apocalypses, not in prose-poetry form) and am trying to decide what kind of poems to use as examples – postcard poems, dream poems, surreal narratives. It’s sort of funny to be doing this reading on July 4, which makes you think about wars, patriotism, the future…you know, sort of depressing stuff. But Matthea Harvey, for one, can make this subject matter pretty charming! I’m looking into some other poets as well, thanks for suggestions on Facebook (and if you have favorite apocalyptic prose poems, please post them in the comments! Or e-mail me!)

I’m thinking that my discouragement earlier in the week, and the ways that the discouragement has been lifted. I chatted with my regular manicurist and she said something that helped me with a problem I was having with UW genetics, sorting through my B12 deficiency problems. (You never know who is going to point you in the direction you should go if you’re open to it!) Going to a Seattle writer networking event this week not only encouraged me that there are a ton of energetic and positive young women writers out there, making a living with jobs like “SEO consultant” and “social media manager” and “coffee critic.” And the people themselves were so interesting and intelligent. Just talking to them for a mere hour gave me a jolt of energy towards my own writing and job search. This is why I need to force myself to go out and socialize more often! Even for me, a half introverted/half extroverted writer, it takes a lot of energy and often involves a 45 minute commute downtown. I’ve been making more of an effort to connect with my writer friends, and every encounter reminds me why I continue to do this crazy stuff, despite the years of low pay, rejected grants and submissions, dozens of versions of each book edited and re-edited…In the end, maybe it’s worth it. When you read a poem that inspires you to write your own, when you hear about an opportunity that might be perfect for you, when you can help someone else solve a problem or be more encouraged about her own work…when you realize the world, generically, from a distance, may seem to be dark and violent and antagonistic, but when you examine it up close, your own circles and coincidences, maybe it isn’t as hopeless as it seems. Maybe it’s designed to help you survive and thrive, after all. Maybe this stuff you’re writing isn’t as ignored and forgotten as you fear.

Over 90 degree days…is it the dog days already?

It’s over 90 degrees today here in Seattle, announcing that yes, July (and summertime) are here! We made watermelon popsicles yesterday in preparation, as eating (cooking) anything seems impossible and unlikely.

I’m trying to be responsible and positive and productive today. Yesterday I was a mess – just the bad news, lack of sleep, stress, rejections – I listened to Smashing Pumpkins’ “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” about ten times in a row, which the cats found curious, anyway; I woke up at four in the morning full of despair. Last night, the bunnies wouldn’t even come out, it was so hot, and all I saw was my osprey wheeling in the bright blue sky. The animals stayed wisely undercover and in the shade. It is truly the “dog days” of summer, even though it’s still early (we don’t usually get true summer weather here til after July 4.)

So what to do besides shut off the computer, shut off the television set, and try to do some good in the world? We’re visiting a sick friend, trying to get together some materials from my writing past for a library project (rejections from 2002? Early versions of Becoming the Villainess with six different titles and notes scribbled all over by unnamed friends? Back journals where my first poems were published?) both of which made me reflect on how our perspectives impact our moods. Sometimes not allowing the bad news (whatever it is) to become immediate – to take the long view, the bigger perspective, to try not to let heat, or idiots, make us lose hope. Bad news looms so large – the impersonal note in the e-mail, the tiny slip of paper, the casual no’s, the world’s simmering spin towards destruction, and every single television show obsessed with the end of the world – that it seems impossible to crowd it out with beauty, or peace, or love, at all. So what do you do? Unplug, observe the beauty around you, connect with people you love and trust, maybe work on that one project that makes you happy.

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