Feeling Like a Writer Again, and Part of a Community But Also, Overwhelmed: Conferences Are Tough and What I Learned – AWP Seattle 2023 Day 1, Day 2, Day 3

Day 1: Ready for AWP (?)

Big AWP Post: Feeling Like a Writer Again, Community and What I Learned from Going to Seattle AWP

I’m home from AWP and recovering, eating breakfast, and uploading photos. So, was it worth it to try to go? I had been in a pretty tight pandemic bubble for the last three years, so it was certainly a change! 9000 people attended! I saw lots of friends, both local and cross country, but I don’t think I got to say hi to half the people I wanted to! I definitely overscheduled—which I usually don’t do, but I’ve never had all my panels accepted before, and then had a new book come out at exactly the same time as AWP in my own town, so figured I had to go for it.

There were risks involved, and the conference center was under construction which made wheelchair access to the building problematic—roads were closed off, wheelchair drop-off places were blocked by construction vans. Before the event I felt very insecure about my identity as a writer and being older and yes, I walk with a cane or wheelchair. But after the first day, I felt like I was part of a community, I felt like a writer again, and I felt much less insecure. People I didn’t know came up to me to tell me about different books and how they loved them. People were enthusiastic about the panels I was on. It felt wonderful connecting with friends.

First day at the bookfair, at Two Sylvias table, with Kelli and Annette (the editors and publishers)

Day 1: A Book Signing, The Bookfair, an Offsite Reading, and System Overload

The first day, Glenn had already registered for us and got our badges the day before and we’d checked into the hotel virtually, so getting to AWP was pretty seamless. We went directly to the bookfair to say hi to people before my book signing for Flare, Corona at the BOA Editions booth. It was great to run into people at the bookfair and meeting new people. I got to talk to the editor of APR, who I don’t think I’d met before, and lots of kind literary editors who had published my work over the years.

The book signing itself went well, but what was surprising was that people didn’t just buy Flare, Corona, they brought 16-year-old copies of my older books and told me how the different books has changed their lives. I was pretty surprised and moved.  The team at BOA was really wonderful and supportive, and Glenn had made swag for me—buttons and magnets. I had to rush to the offsite without eating, showering, or resting, and the reading went an hour overtime. There was a terrible inaccessible stage (riser?) and very low light, which made it challenging. It was my first time really reading from the new book, so it was good practice, and there were lots of people in the audience, but: challenging. I tried to hang out with a friend at the bar and it was so crowded and noisy, again challenging.

Things I Learned Day 1: Here were a couple of things I learned: you never know how people and where and when they will connect with your work. Moon City Press sold out of Field Guide to the End of the World, which came out in 2016! And people I ran int0—even pretty good friends—were surprised Flare, Corona was out and available at AWP, even though I felt like I had posted too many times about it on social media (Insta, Twitter, and Facebook) and of course here on the web site. So even if you feel like you’re oversharing, even people who like you and your work probably haven’t seen anything about it. I also sold about a dozen books out-of-hand at bars, the hotel lobby, and just walking place to place—I was lucky Glenn had thought to stash a couple of copies in our bag, so he had them to sell. AWP is a strange place to sell books, because you’re just as likely to sell them sitting at a crowded bar as doing your official readings. This was also my hardest day physically: all my MS symptoms acted up and I was dizzy, breathless, unsteady, and with tremors! Just the overload of noise, light, unexpected hugs (good, but new to me since I’d been bubbling for a while) I think overwhelmed my system. And that was with a lot of prep.

With writer/artist Killian Czuba at Open Books, my happy place

Day 2 at AWP: Meetup at Open Books, Spending Time with Friends Intentionally, and Missing Friends

I took a different approach on the second day: I set up specific friend dates, some of them away from AWP. I started out meeting with Killian Czuba at one of my Seattle happy places, Open Books, the poetry-only bookstore (and very accessible!). We caught up and shopped and then went to a Japanese tea house until they closed down. Then it was back to AWP to meet with speculative writer and friend Lesley Wheeler (we ditched the bar and visited in my hotel room! Racy!), where we were able to provide snacks and a quieter milieu. Then, I raced from there to a fancy dinner I was invited to because (I think) of the featured panelist thing, and luckily, I knew a couple of people there (I was afraid I wouldn’t know anyone and would stand awkwardly around introducing myself to intimidating people), but I couldn’t eat any of the food, food allergies LOL. They did deliver me a carefully wrapped slice of gluten-free bread, which was touching, but I think most of the food would have been deadly (i.e. full of wheat).

What I Learned Day 2: Scheduling intentional offsite time was a win. Wonderful and calming way to catch up with old friends, which is as important to me as selling books at AWP. However, being in individual sessions and no wondering around the bookfair meant lots of friends tried to find me and couldn’t. So next time, I might schedule booth time ahead of time at my other publishers like Two Sylvias or Moon City, so people who want to find you can find you. This was probably my best day physical symptom-wise, though—less noise and crowds, more specific one-on-one talking, and the dinner wasn’t too strenuous.

Funny pic Glenn took: at the close of the bookfair I sat down at a random empty table to sign books, and this was the sign on the table. LOL.

Day 3 at AWP: The Featured Panel Mutant, Monster, Misfit Myself and Back-to-Back Signing and Panel on Publicity and Saying Goodbye at the Bookfair

This is the day I remember the least, probably, as I had to get up early, race to the first panel—the big, featured panel with Sandra Beasley, Rosebud Ben-Oni, and myself, with Jenn Givhan and Paul Guest attending virtually. There were more people than I expected, and things went smoothly. Hearing the stories of the wonderful writers on the panel was so moving and funny and yes, that terrible word, inspiring. A lot of us were talking publicly about our various illnesses and disabilities for the first time, and I got a lot of positive feedback afterwards. Then I stopped briefly to sign books, wheelchaired (late) all the way across two floors and endless square feet to get to my back-to-back panel on publicity, which was really fun. Everyone on the panel was more “professional” than me—there was an indie publicist, a former Graywolf Publicist and Wave Books’ current publicist (who I would have liked to have had coffee with if I didn’t have to race off again) and the lovely moderator. There were a ton of people cramped into a smaller room (the first panel had plenty of seating in the big ballroom) and the audience was really engaged. It was lovely to hear publicly from the moderator and audience members who said PR for Poets had really helped them and they loved it. Once again, sold books unexpectedly at the end of the panel. The panels went smoothly (as in, I didn’t trip or fall or curse too much or pass out, pretty much all my fears). (Folks who paid to attend the AWP conference should be able to re-watch the stream of the big panel here!)

Then I headed to the bookstore to touch base with all of my publishers who were there, grab some books that were practically being given away, and sign more books and say hi to people I didn’t get to see the first two days. This was also pretty exhausting, but we stayed ’til they closed it down a 5pm. I was glad I did though, because I sold more books, saw more wonderful writer friends, and made plans with lots of people.

What I Learned from Day 3: Probably best not to have panels back-to-back across the conference center, but what I really learned was: I really value the people I was on the panel with and felt honored to spend time with them and wished I could have stayed longer to visit with everyone. Also, I wasn’t a total disaster in my first in-person public speaking engagements in a really long time. Talking about things like disability and publicity—admittedly sometimes difficult subjects—is tremendously important, and people want to talk about those things more. Good to know. So, yes, I learned I need to pace myself, use sunglasses if there are too many lights in your face to dampen down neuro-stress, spend time with people you love as much as possible, and be brave. A note about masks: it turns out, no one can hear me with my KN95 mask on, I overheated in it, and my asthma/MS breathing problems acted up with it. I did wear a mask most of the conference but took it off to do public speaking, close speaking with friends, and for pictures. I have not tested positive for covid yet, but I know it was a risk with that many people from that many places. It was the first time I had had a hard time wearing a mask (except maybe for hospital ER visits during the pandemic, when I was having MS symptoms). Recovering this morning, I am glad I went. I had a wonderful time connecting with people, I was very proud of my new book, and I felt less insecure about my looks, age, disability, and calling myself a writer. It really is the community that is important. A friend of mine said “This is our church,” and I knew exactly what she meant. Signing-off now to go back to sleep! Time change messes up our sleep patterns, which were tough anyway. I hope this post was helpful to you and you felt like you were there yourself. Sending love and light out to you my readers!