A Poem up at Verse Daily today, a Reading Tonight, and How To Up Your Writer’s Game This Summer

Woke up to a nice surprise – a poem from The Robot Scientist’s Daughter, “Advice from The Robot Scientist’s Daughter” up on Verse Daily today. Thanks, Verse Daily!

Also, if you’re out and about today, consider stopping by Parkplace Books in Kirkland tonight about 7 PM, because I’ll be reading from the new book there, along with Keith Moul. There’s also an open mike. It’s usually a pretty small reading series, and the bookstore is very cute, so I’d love to see you there!

And, if you’re wondering how to up your writer’s game over the summer, I’ve got a post over at the Gailey and Davio Writers’ Services blog on five ways to do just that!

Upcoming Kirkland Reading, Waterfalls, and More

Wednesday night in Kirkland, Washington, I’ll be reading with Keith Moul at the charming Parkplace Books at 7 PM. There’s an open mike as well. I’d love to see some of my eastside friends there since it’s my first East side reading for The Robot Scientist’s Daughter!

Yesterday it was nearly 90 degrees – crazy hot – so we decided to head north to see the waterfalls at Snoqualmie Falls and Ollalie State Park, and drive around Sammamish Lake and Issaquah, as it has really built up since we lived there in 2000. It was lovely to be outside after a long-enforced rest with a lung infection. This is Glenn and I in the forest at Ollalie State Park:

Then me with the little waterfall there at Ollalie, and then the big Snoqualmie Falls with a bit of the Salish Lodge in the background.

Anyway, a little time in the woods with waterfalls on a hot day is always a good idea. Hard to be down around giant trees and rainbow-misted falls, right?

Next soul-helping outing, Seattle’s Asian Art Museum for the Chiho Aoshima exhibit – maybe Thursday? Remember to do something good for your soul this week! It helps you write, it helps you be thankful, and it’s probably good for your immune system, too, right?

Can a Writer Use a Career and Creativity Coach?

Sorry I’ve been missing, I’ve been pretty sick – like, a partially-collapsed lung, a sinus/lung infection that required daily inhalers, steroids, and antibiotics sick, narrowly escaping being admitted to the hospital sick – but I think I’m on the road to recovery finally, after a couple of weeks. Whew!!

I did something interesting with a little of this downtime – I signed up for a creativity coaching session with Andrea Clark (andrea.clark@aya.yale.edu), a creativity coach working towards her coaching certification, with a Master’s Degree in Counseling and fifteen years experience as a professional writer, so she seemed ideal. She was recommended by another poet I trust, so I was excited about the opportunity.

Then I thought: when could a writer use a coach?

1. Right after graduating from your MA, MFA, or Phd program, and want to get a handle on living a “real writer’s life” and how to approach the job market. (In fact, a career coaching session would be a great add on for so many graduating from MFA programs, don’t you think, to help them with that “what do I do next” feeling?)

2. Writers who feel “stuck” for whatever reason.

3. Writers who are at any kind of changing point – changing directions in what they write, how they write, or trying to figure out where to go next.

I fall into the third category, I think. I was really interested at first in writing down what I wanted to get out of the session – this made me realize what I felt frustrated with in my writing career/life right now, and that I’ve felt a little confused about where I’m heading for a while. It seemed odd to me that I felt so much ennui about writing right after releasing a book, but I was also thinking that maybe I’ve achieved a lot of the goals I had as a younger writer, and now need to shape some new ones. I also had to let go of some earlier goals (like a full-time, tenure track teaching job, which may never happen due to the changes in the university system) and kind of mourn that loss a little bit.

When I talked to Andrea, she asked me lots of questions (we did a Google hangout,) did some mind-body exercises, she reflected back to me my own confusion, and made some good specific suggestions about ways to look at where I am and what I can do to bring joy and purpose back to what I do.

One of her suggestions was to feel all right being in a “still” point, another was a suggestion that I am afraid of boredom and uncomfortable when I don’t have a very clear goal-reward system set up (true!) and another was thinking about a way to get more mental, emotional, and spiritual stimulation – that is, things that I actually enjoy and make me feel alive. Huh. I’ve been doing a lot of the things that I used to feel engaged with and enjoyed – things that have worked for me in the past – but I’m not sure that’s the case now, so I’m sort of looking at my priorities and values and reassessing what I actually want to be doing. Another interesting realization is that though my brain is anxious that I’m not doing more, my body and heart felt fairly peaceful about the downtime. This probably means I worry/have anxiety when I’m not super busy, but sometimes everyone needs downtime, in-between space, stillness, etc. I value money and being rewarded financially for my work, but not enough to go back to tech writing, even part-time, for instance. I liked teaching, but not enough to do it at an adjunct’s salary. I enjoyed engaging with the community as Redmond’s Poet Laureate, but the job took a lot of energy out of me as well. So getting a little clarity about what I really want to do next wasn’t as simple as I thought. Something rewarding financially, engaged with a local community, and mentally and emotionally stimulating, apparently (does such a thing exist?)

Anyway, I would recommend this coaching exercise to anyone who feels they’re in a bit of an in-between space, unsure of what to do or where to go next, who feels like they’ve lost a little bit of their enthusiasm for what they’re doing. Sometimes it’s really helpful to sit down with someone else to try to figure out your goals, worries, and values.

The Seattle Times and The San Francisco Book Review The Robot Scientist’s Daughter

Can’t feel too down today – woke up to these!

A mention of The Robot Scientist’s Daughter in my big local paper, The Seattle Times! (PS Seattle folks – head to Open Books in Wallingford to get a copy of my book! Or I can send you a signed copy!)

And a very nice review of The Robot Scientist’s Daughter in The San Francisco Book Review. They say that “The Robot Scientist’s Daughter is a treasure trove of insight and personal reflection.”

Thank you, Seattle Times and San Francisco Book Review! Plus, I wrote six poems in the last two days. So, it may be that feeling sick and discouraged (see my previous post) makes me write more poetry? Weird, right?

Speaking of discouraged, if you got a rejection letter from Breadloaf this week, don’t feel bad – read this blog post by Kelly Davio! She will make you feel better and give you a plan to move ahead!

Success, Jealousy, Submission, and How Hard Are You Willing to Work

Well, I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately, I’m not ashamed to admit it. Sick cat, then putting her down, and a two week bout with some mystery virus that’s left me tired and worn out. I haven’t been writing, sending out, or promoting my new book enough. Enough for me to be happy with? Enough to be effective? But what does enough look like?

A little post on Medium this morning by my friend Kelli reminded me of this. This post reminded me that part of success really is, no matter what, tied to how hard you’re willing (and able) to work. You can have a ton of talent, wonderful writing, but if you don’t get it out of your head, out of your hard drive, out your door and into the world, guess what? No one will know. How women sabotage themselves by not thinking their work is good enough to send out, or, if they’re anything like me, they just think sending their work back to an editor who asks for more is “rude, because I should wait at least six months before submitting again.” Because that is what is in my head. A lot of rules that no one ever told me, that I just absorbed at some point from the world around me. I think of myself as a fairly aggressive submitter – I probably average about 20 subs at least per quarter. But maybe not aggressive enough?

A lot of the writing game is about numbers. The more you send out, most of the time, not always, but most of the time, the more you will get published. The more you write, the more you have to send out. So spending your time writing, polishing, and sending out your work will stop you from sabotaging your self. Spending your time feeling sad and listening to sad music and wishing you had things you don’t, well, that’s not so productive.

Sure, there are dream stories: the writers with 200K book deals right out of the MFA gates at 24. Poets & Writers always seems to have a lot of those quicky miracle success stories, though when I meet the poets and writers I admire in real life, they more often tell me stories of years of struggle, pain, impatience, rejection. Writers may seem to win awards and fellowships with ease; sometimes you will not feel good about it. Here’s a post I happened upon today, and I encourage you to read not just the letter and answer, but the comments, which tease out some subtleties that the letter and response, both being a little simplistic, do not: Dear Sugar on Writer Jealousy. Because there are some truths in the letter, the response, and the comments. Seeing people get the things you want and work for sometimes hurts. Sometimes that’s because we’re entitled, maybe, as Sugar suggests. Sometimes it’s because we feel insecure, as some of the commenters suggest. Do those feelings do us any good? Maybe, if it motivates us. Maybe, if it keeps us writing and sending out work.

I was thinking about the difference between my thirties, when I was more optimistic and energetic, maybe more insecure too, and now, in my forties, that I feel less insecure, but I’m getting worried that I’ve spent an awful lot of hours and emotional energy on something I’m never really going to get rewarded for. I genuinely feel happy when good things happen to my friends, even acquaintances, because I think: those people genuinely deserve it. They’ve worked hard, they’re great writers, and I think, yay, the system works! When it doesn’t happen for me, but it happens for them, at least it happened to someone good, someone who deserved it.

These days, and maybe it’s not just physical, I feel tired. Tired of sending things out to rejection or worse, no response at all. (It happens.) Tired of putting out my best efforts, to feel like they fall into a vacuum. I mean, for poets, this is normal, right? Most of the time, poets not only don’t win at life (historically, there’s a lot of consumption, alcoholism, and suicide in this line of work), they don’t get paid, they don’t get recognition, no one notices what they do. I’ve talked before about average book sales for poets. What is the real bar for this thing I think of as “poetry success?” What’s the difference between optimism and false hope? When you work as hard as you can, and the results aren’t what you’ve dreamed of, what then? I was just reading the comments of several women on Facebook, older than me, who have become so discouraged they haven’t stopped writing, but they’ve stopped even being interested in sending out work ever again. I hope that doesn’t happen to me. I am willing to work, but I worry that the discouragement gets to you over time, that the constant doubt, disappointment, and rejection somehow rewire our brains to think “I will never be successful at writing, so I give up.” I sometimes think, if I don’t get a “sign from the universe,” I’m going to do something else with my time and energy. But then I write another poem.