Serum Sickness, Good News and Bad News, When to Close the Screen
- At September 18, 2014
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
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So, the last few days have been a bit of a daze, as I had a reaction – specifically, a kind of reaction called “serum sickness,” to the Xolair shot, which sounds wonderfully poetic, but you know, comes with things like a high fever, prickly rashes on your face that make you look like you dived head-first into poison ivy and some serious stomach aches and weird faint-yness. I was a little upset, seeing as how this shot was supposed to help the autoimmune problems, that I had an autoimmune type reaction to it, you know, sort of an ironic, terrible joke.
But then I thought about the things we let into our lives, our bodies, and the things we keep out. While I was woozy with antibiotics and steroids, I noticed the news being even more terrible than usual – terrorism and ebola and etc – and I thought – why is this always in our faces, this bad news, this terribly frightening and depressing set of things. But we can shut it off – we can turn the channel, close the internet explorer window, turn the radio off.
I mean, health care is sort of the same – it can be very frightening, like, weird reactions to weird shots, doctors want to run tests all of the time. But while we don’t necessarily have control over everything about our own bodies – I certainly find mine hilarious on occasion – we can take risks, but we can also shut down things we don’t want, add in things we do want. Even when I was in a wheelchair for a while a couple of years ago, we’d still go the zoo, go through the park, find the bluebirds hiding in the trees. Even when my diet shrank to about four foods, my husband Glenn tried to make the most of out of the limited ingredients. If we get sick – and I just got over a six week respiratory illness – we can stay in bed, and see it as a trial, or we can stay in bed, and see it as an opportunity to catch up on classic movies and novels. This is not Pollyanna-ing – it’s just that I’m frustrated with the bad news taking over the screen, including my own. I remember thinking while my fever was going up and up yesterday, that I felt resentful of the demands of the screen, the angry and resentful Facebook posts, e-mail, news stories. I thought – I have the power to turn these things off. This is one of those things you realize during high fevers – epiphanies like “Hey, I don’t have to respond to every e-mail or twitter the minute it comes in.” We can embrace the things we love, the people that make us happy, open the windows and let in fresh air, the changing seasons.
This is a set of sunflowers about five minutes from my doctor’s office.
Are you Burned Out? Or Just Tired?
- At September 14, 2014
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
0
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between mental, emotional, and physical states, and I’ve found this to be particularly true of poets. If we let ourselves go too long without sleep, or we (ahem) have been suffering from some kind of upper respiratory crap for a month or so, or we’ve just been pushing ourselves too hard – book tour, caretaking, job responsibilities –it can be hard to find that call to send out your work, apply for a grant, or write anything that feels (key word, feels) worthwhile.
Fall – and September in particular – is usually my energetic, submitting-full, writing-y zone – but this year, I’ve just been staring blankly, evening after evening, at my Excel spreadsheet. I know that usually this time of year I’m excited to get back to sending out work. But – maybe do to the fact that coughing spasms have been waking me up in the middle of the night, several times a night, for oh, five weeks, sometimes requiring an inhaler – I just feel “blah” about the whole thing. And I haven’t been writing much really, either. Reading, I can handle – this summer I’ve caught up on all the fiction reading I didn’t do the rest of the year, plus some non-fiction.
Someone was telling me that there is an energy of fall around change, a decrease in sunlight, in the length of days, and sometimes, a fall in mood and energy, too. Change of seasons, change in mood, change of creativity, too.
I think a little self-care (appropriate bedtimes, good nutrition, maybe a vitamin – in my case, resting as per doctor’s orders) can go a long way towards determining whether you’re going through a temporary confluence of sleep-deprivation, energy lowering and maybe a lot of recent rejections, or whether you are seriously feeling burned out, in a way that means you need to look again at your reasons for writing and trying to publish, maybe try to talk to people that help encourage you, and give yourself a break for a little while. Like me, maybe you need some time to rest and read, give yourself space to breathe and not always “produce.” Diane Lockward has a good post about downtime, and discusses Louise Gluck’s discoveries about downtime in her recent P&W interview. (It’s worth it to go pick up a copy of Poets & Writers in print!) I’m also really enjoying a new book of essays by women writers over 50 called A Story Larger Than My Own, including pieces by Alicia Ostriker, Maxine Kumin, and Margaret Atwood. There was a great piece in there too about writerly ambition – like I was talking about a few weeks ago – by Linda Pastan.
Tomorrow I’m off to my “experimental” first shot of Xolair, to see if it will help the asthma/allergies/inflammation issues, without debilitating side effects, hopefully! Wish me luck!
Elgin Award Winners and Book Soundtracks
- At September 10, 2014
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
0
Hey, a little good news that I had to post – Unexplained Fevers won second place in this year’s Elgin Awards for full-length poetry books! Here’s a list of all the Elgin Award Winners: http://sfpoetry.com/el/14elgin.html
Thanks to all the Sci-Fi Poetry Association members who voted! (And for those of you who didn’t know, yes, there is such a thing as a sci-fi poetry association!)
And, thanks to Sharon Suzuki-Martinez for featuring me on her Poet’s Playlist Tumblr. This playlist is for The Robot Scientist’s Daughter…upcoming in 2015 from Mayapple Press. Check it out to find out my weird (and admittedly schizophrenic) listening preferences while I was writing the book!
Update: Thanks to Lesley Wheeler for her discussion on her blog of what was cut from her Eliot-Waste Land essay in this month’s Poetry Magazine, where she discusses poems by Daisy Fried and my own persona-poem-as-Vivienne-Eliot, “Her Nerves,” from Becoming the Villainess. In fact, there are a ton of Eliot-inspired poems in the book, as I started investigating Philomel, and Ovid’s Metamorphoses, because of “The Waste Land,” as well as the theory of the abject, Baudelaire, and Swinburne. Here’s the poem in its entirety:
Her Nerves
“My nerves are bad tonight. Yes, bad.” – T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land
I surrounded myself with the safe, with the sane.
“You know there’s a history of mental illness in my family.”
I devoted myself to botany, to mazes, to the infinitesimal.
I married you to challenge my inevitable end –
my human tranquilizer.
You like my “little poems” but
I scare you when I rock myself over and over
saying I dreamed I killed you again,
I dreamed you killed me again,
and you couldn’t stop the nightmares.
You liked it when I laughed at Plath,
sketched repeating uneven branches of starfish arms.
You are afraid–not just of me,
but what I see and hear that you don’t –
the crusts of blood, slippery dirt-gorged voices.
You like it when I curse creatively,
hate it when paper piles like excrement around me.
Afraid our sloppy physicality
will tear at your maintained monastic cubes,
our “Siren Song,” our red hair flaming into points.
You name our extremities as if decayed already,
the translucent hand,
the ankle frail as a twig.
The Poet Does an Art Walk – Some Poetry and Visual Art Collaboration News
- At September 08, 2014
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
0
All poetry book marketing talk and no fun make this blog too dull, right? So, onto a post on art for poets!
First of all, speaking of poet and artist collaborations: If you live in Redmond, be sure to come by this Friday afternoon between 5:30 and 7 PM for the VALA Voices in the Corridor Reception. Besides seeing some fantastic local art which interprets what “home” means in the Redmond corridor, I’ll be reading a bit of Redmond-oriented poetry, there will be music, and also a yoga demo. Read more about it here. This is the culmination of six months of poet (Kelly Davio and myself) and artists Jacqui Calladine, Jessica Lambert, Anna Macrae and Flora Ramirez Bustamante collaborating on this project, which is supposed to reflect the “voices” in the Redmond area.
So, I met up with some terrific artists in Pioneer Square this week (Mary Coss and Carol Milne) about doing a collaborative art-poetry piece for a January exhibition at METHOD. It was an inspiring time and both artists were full of fun ideas. (Can’t wait to see what Carol comes up with!)
Afterwards it happened to be the once-a-month Pioneer Square art walk. I’ve been on and off sick for the last month, so I had a lot of pent-up art energy built up! We must have visited at least twenty galleries. For an idea of what we saw, let me include a few images…
The image at the top of the post is Paul McKee’s new show at the METHOD Gallery. Terrific, right? I told him this is how I’d decorate my house…
Next, I fell in love with the work of Justin Gibbens, whose show at the Punch Gallery demonstrated his love of traditional Japanese art and training as a scientific illustrator. Here’s one of my favorites, “Egret as Berunda:”
Next, a trip to Roq la Rue, where the work of Casey Weldon and Femke Hemstra were featured. Roq la Rue never disappoints!
It’s a reminder that there are so many talented artists out there, each piece a wonderful inspiration for writing! I’m excited for my next artist collaboration – my first with a glass artist – and to work with METHOD, that gallery was so funky-gothic-cool and right in my art-wheelhouse.



Jeannine Hall Gailey served as the second Poet Laureate of Redmond, Washington and the author of Becoming the Villainess, She Returns to the Floating World, Unexplained Fevers, The Robot Scientist’s Daughter, and winner of the Moon City Press Book Prize and SFPA’s Elgin Award, Field Guide to the End of the World. Her latest, Flare, Corona from BOA Editions, was a finalist for the Washington State Book Award. She’s also the author of PR for Poets, a Guidebook to Publicity and Marketing. Her work has been featured on NPR’s The Writer’s Almanac, Verse Daily and The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror. Her poems have appeared in The American Poetry Review, Poetry, and JAMA.


