Wishing for a Better 2020: a Death in the Family, What to Write When WWIII is Trending, and Speculative Poetry Reading This Saturday

Glenn and I toasting on New Year’s Eve

Wishing for a Better 2020

After a quiet, uneventful, and thoroughly happy New Year’s Eve (see: pictures)  I woke up on New Year’s Day to the news that my grandfather had passed away at 99 and “Death to America” was trending. My father had just gotten out of the hospital for pneumonia and I broke off a piece of tooth in my sleep. In addition, it’s been cold and blustery here, too miserable (40s and rain) to do much outdoors, but Australia in midsummer is on fire, and its distressing news (the koala population might be functionally extinct! Here’s a picture of the red air in New Zealand right now!) keeps surfacing as well.

 

Celebrating the New Year at Willows Lodge

I am one of those people who tries to find the positive but it’s been a rough beginning to 2020 for me. My MS neurological symptoms have been acting up a bit – stress definitely plays a part in that – so I’ve been trying actively to avoid any extra bad news (except when I go on Twitter, which I’ll get to later.)

I’ve been writing a ton and even got an acceptance or two in the new year but it’s been hard to focus on that in the middle of everything else. Are you having the same issue? Are you still feeling hopeful for 2020?

 

An Anna’s hummingbird that appeared outside my window yesterday – a sign of hope?

What to Write When WWIII is Trending

So, the day after New Year’s day, I woke up to “WWIII” trending on Twitter. How to address the world like this? What can you possibly do or say to help the situation? I can’t do much when it comes to world politics, I can protest, I can vote when the vote comes around, I can call or write letters to my local congress people, but I cannot create peace on earth on my own.

It was hard already trying to help my mom when she’s in a different state (and her father was in a totally different midwestern state) and this tooth that’s due for a root canal is just shredding itself for some reason in preparation. I can’t control any of those things. Small acts of love, kindness, and peace? Yes. I can try to breathe. I can try to focus on the little everyday beauties around me.

Shelfie of some books that were really important to me when I first started writing. Good to return to inspirations.

My Twitter feed usually has very little politics, a range of writing news and announcements, nature pictures, and definitely no hellscapes, but this week has been different. I must have a lot of friends in New Zealand and Australia, because pictures of Hell-colored red air and smoke have been prominent on my timeline, along with fights about Iran and war. I’ve been writing about apocalypses for a while (see: Field Guide to the End of the World) but it’s always surprising to see how fast the apocalypses might be approaching on the horizon.

So what do you write when WWIII is trending? It’s not wise to get your news solely from social media, so I’ve been avoiding social media for things like reading and I’ve been checking in with my mom and dad back in Ohio to. I’m tackling my reading stack from the books I got for the holidays. I’ve been writing poems that try to make sense of the chaos.  Which is impossible, of course.

I went back to some older books, books by older authors like Stella Gibbons and Karen Blixen, which helped me remember that in the 1920s, there was irrational exuberance in the stock market, decadence and flappers and a wonderful proliferation in the art and writing world, and they were about to face World War II and the Great Depression. I went back to some of the books that helped me become the writer I am today, fairy tale and mythology writings that talk about how we tell stories, and why they’re important. 

Sylvia with some reading material and a stuffed figure of Mr. Winkle.

As writers, we can do one thing: we can document the world, our world, the specifics – the moods, the visuals, the attitudes. We can try to capture the moment, whatever that moment entails. That doesn’t mean we contain or control it – but at least we can offer perspective, a point-of-view, an account from the ground, so to speak.

 

 

 

Lesley Wheeler and I at a past AWP

Speculative Women Writers and Dinner with Friends

The MLA Conference is taking place in Seattle this upcoming week, which means Seattle folks can catch up with their friends who are fancy faculty in other states and that there are great readings all around the city this week. I am lucky enough to have a dinner scheduled with Lesley Wheeler, who is a great speculative writer and all-around motivated, hard-working, kind and thoughtful human (she has a novel and a poetry book coming out!) and then a reading with Lesley at Open Books and Seattle-based writer Jessica Rae Bergamino this Saturday January 11th at 7 PM!

I can prove that though I’ve known Lesley for years, because she lives and teaches on the East Coast, we rarely exist in the same space or even time zone – note the sole picture I could find of us together to the left was taken several years ago – so I’m excited for the opportunity! And I haven’t done a reading at all in a while, so I hope you come out and see us.

It’s actually a perfect time to celebrate speculative poetry, during a time period that is often described as possibly an embodiment of the futuristic dystopias written years earlier, a time of apocalyptic fires and conflicts. What better time to imagine the future? I’ll be reading a bit from Field Guide to the End of the World, but also a bit of new work, which has a fiercer, but more hopeful, apocalyptic mood, from one of my manuscripts that has been circulating. I hope it will lift your mood, and mine. Here’s to a better 2020!

 

Last Days of the Decade, Post-Christmas, What to Do with Long Cold Nights, Looking Forward to 2020, and Grateful for Artist Friends

Bellevue Botanical Garden Lights

Glenn and I strike a Christmas pose

The Last Days of the Decade

Can’t believe I’m writing that, in the last days of the year, in the last days on the decade. We’ve made it through the holidays except for New Year’s Eve. For a girl who remembers her halcyon days in the 1990s, it can be strange to think about going into the third decade of the new millennium.

Facebook and Twitter had a thing going around talking about major events/accomplishments/things lost-and-gained during the past ten years.
The last ten years have been…a lot. Here’s mine:

  1. We moved from Washington State to California (first San Diego, then Napa,) and back again. This inspired a lot of apocalypse poetry.
  2. Caught severe double pneumonia while in CA and almost died. Made a resolution in the hospital that I would not die until I published another poetry book.
  3. I published four poetry books (Field Guide to the End of the World, Robot Scientist’s Daughter, Unexplained Fevers, and She Returns to the Floating World) and one non-fiction book for poets (PR for Poets.)
  4. I tried adjunct teaching in a graduate program for four years. Decided it was not for me, due to lack of benefits and very low pay.
  5. I was diagnosed with terminal cancer, then a different, rarer kind of cancer. Made a funeral playlist. Took in a “re-homed” lucky kitten. Now the tumors in my liver have been deemed “indolent,” at least for now.
  6. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.
  7. I was told I would never walk again, due to the severity of my brain damage, by several different neurologists, but thanks to physical therapy (and some stubbornness on my part), I am walking with a cane.
  8. We bought a condo, then sold a condo. Then my husband and I bought a house and – quite the undertaking – made it handicapped-accessible – mostly. (And in a neighborhood I am still loving.)
  9. Glenn and I celebrated our 25th anniversary.
  10. Just in the last month, had acceptances from several “dream” journals that I had been sending to for more than a decade.

Now I am alive, waiting for my first root canal to be scheduled, and shopping around two more poetry manuscripts. I have learned several things: the Washington State real estate market is bonkers, kittens have healing powers, always get a second opinion on any serious diagnosis, and never give up on things you care about.

Christmas, Lights, and Other Bright Things

We were lucky to have a quiet, happy, uneventful Christmas, FaceTiming with four sets of families and eating Christmas dinner with classic movies on in the background. We even got out briefly to see the Bellevue Botanical Garden Lights (see top of page and the gallery below) and take pictures of some of the local festive scenes in Woodinville.

Festive Woodinville Scenes

 

Glenn, Michaela Eaves, and Me Clowning Around on Boxing Day

Post-Christmas: Long Dark Winter Nights and Grateful for Artist Friends

One way to feel better during our long dark Northwest winter nights, besides going to see some festive lights, is spending time with your artist-type friends. We were lucky enough to see our artist friend Michaela Eaves on Boxing Day and had a great time catching up over Glenn’s port and chocolate ricotta cheesecake.

I also learned about the tradition from Iceland of the frightful Yule Cat, who terrorizes anyone not wearing new clothing on New Year’s Eve. In an equally delightfully disturbing vein, one of my favorite presents from my husband was this piece of “Calamityware,” which looks like Willowware but depicts apocalyptic scenes of robots, aliens, and capybaras. We’re hoping I can become officially sponsored by them at some point.

 

Looking Forward to 2020

Today, at almost the end of the year, I’m trying to stay healthy, battling off various bugs, worried about my father in the hospital for pneumonia (a lot of bad germs going around this year, folks, so be careful!) and still awaiting my first root canal, it’s easy to feel anxious about what the next year will bring. My manuscripts are making the rounds. I have 45 active poetry submissions out right now. I’m trying not to worry about what kind of havoc multiple sclerosis might wreak in the coming years, on my life, my body, my work, my marriage, given that we don’t have a lot of good treatment options or a cure. But I try to continue to have hope.

As for politics – as it surely a politically fraught year ahead – I was talking to a young person (21) today who I mentioned the – to her, horrifying – thought that Trump might get re-elected. Yes, I said, Millennials outnumber Boomers, but Boomers are much better at voting. That said, if the young people vote in big numbers, maybe he won’t get re-elected. That’s the hope, anyway. I certainly am tired of seeing environmental destruction and the worst impulses of Americans – greed, hatred, prejudice – being played out into apocalypse scenarios. It would be nice to have a little bit of hope. It would also be nice to have a woman in the office of President for the first time. I am still hoping for one in my lifetime.

On that note, here is my finished version of the Vision Board I made for 2020. Note there are three deer, one fox, one peacock, and several hummingbirds. I’m not sure what the significance of this is but I’m sure some subconscious symbolism is at work. Wishing you all a happy New Year’s and a hopeful, inspired 2020!

Final Version of my 2020 Vision Board

Happy Solstice, Feeling a Little Under the Weather on the Darkest Day of the Year, Imagining 2020, and Manuscript Redux

Me with my Solstice tree

Happy Solstice!

Yes, from here on out our nights are getting shorter, and our days are getting longer. It definitely doesn’t feel like that can be true here in Seattle, but we light our candles anyway, read poetry, and Glenn is baking, so I basically feel like we’ve covered all the important Solstice traditions, anyway.

I’m working on a vision board for 2020 and on both of my poetry manuscripts to send out in the new year. I’ve been sick, so extra downtime on my hands has meant a little more time for projects like this. I find it’s very hard to revise a whole poetry manuscript without a pretty significant amount of quiet time to think about it, and like a lot of writers, I like to put out all the poems on the table or floor or wall and see how they work together, or if they don’t. I’m not good at craft-type projects but I continue to try to do a collage project for each year, the idea being to set your inspiration/aspiration for every year. Also very Solstice-y, right?

Under the weather on the darkest, rainiest day of the year in Seattle

A Little Under the Weather on the Darkest (and Rainiest Day of the Year)

I’ve been sick this week, and Friday, though not technically the Solstice, was the darkest day of the year in Seattle, as well as the rainiest. Tiny streams became rivers, landslides and floods threaten, and every time I ducked outside I felt more like a drowned rat. Sometimes I think it’s important to show the good and the bad days in the life of a writer with a chronic illness like MS, not just the good.

That’s why I included this picture Glenn snapped of me yesterday, in my “Mistletoe and Mimosas” t-shirt, mustering all the holiday spirit I could. I felt sick to my stomach (thanks to the new medications the doctors have me on), I hadn’t slept more than two hours in a row for three nights, and just wasn’t feeling my usual upbeat self. Sometimes being sick slows you down, and keeps you

from doing the things you’d rather be doing. I’d certainly rather be healthy for Christmas (and not getting an emergency root canal on New Year’s Eve Eve), but sometimes this is the reality – I’m not my shiniest, happiest, self.

Sylvia as the ghost of Christmas Presents

Looking Forward to a New Decade

But I’m hoping 2020 includes plenty of healthy days, more wins than losses, more time for friendship and less time resting and recovering. Turning into a new decade reminds me that we have to look forward to the future with more than fear in it, even when you have a chronic illness that tends to worsen over time, and has no cure (yet). I have to hang on to hope. Hope that they will find more effective treatments for the things that are wrong with me. Hope that I will get good news about my next book manuscripts, or even an unexpected fellowship, maybe. Hope that I will love more new books and make more good friends and get to discover beautiful things around me. Even the days when I am sick and the day is cold and gloomy, I want to be able to discover new things.

Light Post at my house on the Solstice Night

We only have the days we have, and I want to spend as many of them filled with things that give me joy – poetry, spending time with friends, spending time in nature, and trying to appreciate the little things—a new song or book to love, the way the light reflects off a streetlight, or even a cat hiding in a box of presents—along the way. I laughed tonight watching Eddie Murphy on SNL and enjoyed Lizzo singing with so much joie de vivre. I sat by the fireplace and drank herbal tea and looked through pictures of the last year. We can live in fear of the unexpected tragedies and misfortunes that await us, but we can also expect unexpected beauty, humor, and happiness.  May your days have more light than darkness!

 

Copper Canyon Holiday Book Party, Early Family Christmas Dinner, and Working on Poetry Manuscripts (Again)

Cheers to you!

Wishing You a Happy (and Peaceful) Holiday Season

It’s been a busy week this week – an early Christmas dinner and presents with family, a visit to the endodontist (a root canal in my immediate future, boo) and the Copper Canyon Holiday Book Sale/Reading Party. That’s along with working on my two poetry manuscripts some more before sending them out before the end-of-the-year deadlines. Not to mention trying to get everything else – holiday cards sent out, decorating, shipping out Christmas presents to family in Ohio and friends in other states, tax stuff – done.

But even when you feel overwhelmed by everything going on, it’s important to take time to enjoy the little things when you can (I say to myself.) I haven’t gotten out yet to see any holiday movies or check out the local holiday light shows (of which we have many!) But I did get a chance to celebrate a little with friends and family, and even listen to some great poetry, and I’m thankful for that.

Glenn, me, little brother Mike, and his wife Loree

Family Time – Celebrating an Early Christmas

Since my brother is going home to the Midwest for real Christmas, we had our Christmas dinner and presents early. Glenn made a wonderful duck dinner with chocolate peppermint cake for dessert, and it was great to catch up with Mike and Loree since we haven’t gotten to see them as much lately. It’s important to take a little time out for family this time of year especially, I think.

We are thankful to have some family close enough to celebrate!

 

Pre-reading with Abi, Sarah, Rob, and me

Copper Canyon Holiday Party

We have been busy, but happy we set aside some time yesterday to make the trek downtown to the Hugo House for the yearly Copper Canyon Book Sale/Reading/Holiday Party. It’s always fun to see old friends, the readings were great (especially Natalie Scenters-Zapico and Taneum Bambrick, both fire!) they had live music (Glenn bought a CD from them – gotta support the arts!) and came home with new books to read. I love to support local presses and I’ve been an admirer of Copper Canyon Press for a long time.

 

Deer visitors in the yard

Poetry Work on Two Manuscripts, and Book Reviews

This week also had me taking a hard look at my two manuscripts. One seems pretty finished, the other one is still in process, and so I printed it out again and sorted it out on the table. I’d missed that I had taken out a pretty important couple of poems in the last round of edits, and I added in some new ones, which means I need to edit a few others out. Then the harder work of targeting publishers – the ones that will take a chance on me. I also updated my acknowledgments pages with my recent acceptances, which was fun!

The tricky part of messing with poetry manuscripts – especially two at a time – is keeping in mind the themes, avoiding unnecessary repetition, and making sure the book is fun to read, even if the subject matter might be deemed “depressing.” You want a certain amount of momentum in your first ten and last ten pages, for instance. You don’t want to bury your best poems in the middle of the book, which is easy to do. You don’t want it to be too long (which is probably around 70 pages) or to feel too slight. You have to think of targeting the right presses for each book – and unless you have a “home” publisher, that means doing your research and checking out new presses, older presses that have changed direction, that sort of thing. Then, make sure your TOC is updated, you don’t have any obvious typos, that kind of thing.

Reading material for the holidays

I also try to get book reviews done during the holiday break, though I’ve been busier with medical/dental stuff than I thought I’d be, so I haven’t gotten as much done as usual. I’ve been reading Fanny Howe and Rachel Zucker’s latest books, and enjoying them. I’ve been a fan of Fanny Howe’s work for some years, and Rachel Zucker’s book – which reads more like prose than poetry – has a really funny section at the end about writer’s residencies.

 

 

Plans for 2020 – A Feminist Speculative Reading at Open Books!

Are you making plans for 2020 yet? I’ll be reading at Open Books January 11th for a Feminist Speculative Writers feature with my friend from the East Coast Lesley Wheeler, which I’m very much looking forward to. And I can get some poetry shopping done there too! I haven’t done a reading in a while, so I’m hoping to read some new work and that is always exciting!

When Wishes Come True, Holiday Celebrations with Friends, and Looking to 2020

Kelli Russell Agodon and I

Holiday Celebrations with Poet Friends

The holidays are here, and we have started celebrating early. My poet friend Kelli and her husband Rose came over for an early Christmas celebration, and we got a chance to catch up. I think writer friendships are very important so even though we live about two hours apart (give or take a ferry,) and my health sometimes throws a wrench in our plans, we try to see each other to catch up a couple of times a year.

My brother and his wife are coming over this Sunday for an early Christmas as well. So we’ll be really tired of the holiday once the real day rolls around. Just kidding! I mean, seriously, I could do a party every day in December. Which is good, because there’s another party around the corner! This is the reason I have so many sparkly things in my closet – you never know when you’re going to need to throw on a fancy dress and look presentable in public during the holiday season.

Glenn, me, Kelli, and Rose

Magic in Gathering

There’s a little bit of magic in gathering with friends, isn’t there? It isn’t just the wine and cupcakes and sparkles (though those don’t hurt,) it’s the sharing of dreams and disappointments, hopes and doubts.

Kelli brought me a lovely ornament – a white fox in a white forest, in a little light-up snow globe. Foxes have been my favorite animal since I was very little, because, I think, they also have a little magic to them. I had a fox kit come up to me when I was a very young kid, in a field, and make extended eye contact, close enough to touch the tip of its nose. I’ve had other fox encounters since then, and they always seem to presage something good.

Even better than the ornament, Kelli took the time to look over my newest manuscript and make thoughtful suggestions. That is a real gift!

Glenn and I at the Fireside Lounge, Willows Lodge, Celebrating

Celebrating Wishes Come True

So, in last week’s post I was talking about wishing. And interestingly, some of the wishes had to do with poetry. Even more interestingly, though I am still shopping around my two poetry manuscripts to various publishers, I had really good news from two separate “dream” journals taking my work. The first, which I can share because I have signed the contract, was an e-mail from one of my poetry heroes, Tracy K. Smith, who took a poem of mine for an upcoming issue of Ploughshares. I have been submitting to Ploughshares, my records say, since 2003. Pretty exciting!

And then the second, is almost shockingly good, a place that is my top “dream” journal that published the likes of Sylvia Plath and T.S. Eliot, that I am deliriously happy about, took two poems. This is a journal I have been submitting to since the age of 19 – that is, 26 years! (I will share the name as soon as I am able.) Glenn and I went out that night to celebrate, because taking the time to celebrate wishes come true seems important. I want to feel grateful right now.

One thing I was noticing in the history of Hans Christian Anderson I was reading and in Sylvia Plath’s letters, is in all their ambition and well-placed confidence in their talents, they almost never felt satisfied with any individual prize, or publication. Nothing was ever good enough. Driven, ambitious people tend to be more successful, but also, perhaps, more unhappy. I wanted to be sure to try to feel the happiness in the moment, to put off the worries or discouragements that almost always follow good news for at least a little bit. And besides the holidays, the solstice is coming, which brings its own energy, and deserves to be noted and celebrated.

And speaking of good magic…Another thing I like to do this time of year is give things away. Giving to charity, giving to friends, even writing cards to loved ones all these things increase, I don’t know, what I think of as good magic energy. This time of year can be tough for so many for different reasons, so anything we can do to cheer up our fellow human beings, even if it’s just looking someone in the eye when they’re talking to you or asking someone when we’re checking out at the coffee shop how they’re doing, it’s probably a good idea. It can be easy to focus on yourself and your problems, and for me, it’s definitely something I struggle with – how to keep myself looking outward as well as inward.

Wishing you all a great 2020! Cheers!

Looking to 2020

So what are you looking forward to next year? It can be so easy to see the bleak, bad news, the disasters and the flaws in the foundations. When I think of the next year, I know there will be things I cannot control, hard things, but that I can also set an intention towards positive things.

For me, I want to spend more time in the coming year on things that build peace, like photographing nature, and writing, and hopefully less time in doctors and dentists offices. I hope to continue to improve my health as much as I can, to find wonderful homes for my two books, for my husband and family to remain healthy. I can’t believe we’re entering a new decade.

I was born in 1973, right before the impeachment proceedings of President Nixon. There was a lot of anxiety the year of my birth, about how America would be going forward, about ending the Vietnam war, about oil prices and alternative energy sources, about scary environmental challenges like acid rain or nuclear pollution. And this next year will have so many parallels – a President again under investigation, anxiety about the environment, about how people can live together, not just in our country but all over the world,  with peace and love and tolerance.

I’m hoping 2020 is a year of more kindness, of more peace, of more people valuing empathy and trees than war and profit. Eh, I’m a poet, I’m allowed to have big, unrealistic dreams, right?  Here’s wishing us all a better 2020! May all your wishes come true and may you all see a little magic!

Jeannine Hall Gailey

Jeannine Hall GaileyJeannine Hall Gailey served as the second Poet Laureate of Redmond, Washington and the author of Becoming the Villainess, She Returns to the Floating World, Unexplained Fevers, The Robot Scientist’s Daughter, and winner of the Moon City Press Book Prize and SFPA’s Elgin Award, Field Guide to the End of the World.  Her latest, Flare, Corona from BOA Editions, was a finalist for the Washington State Book Award. She’s also the author of PR for Poets, a Guidebook to Publicity and Marketing. Her work has been featured on NPR’s The Writer’s Almanac, Verse Daily and The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror. Her poems have appeared in The American Poetry Review, Poetry, and JAMA.

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