Welcome to the Holidays, Mary Ruefle, Lizzo, and Another Round of Revision and Thinking of Poets and Charisma

Glenn and I among gold stars at Molbaks

Welcome to the Holidays!

Yes, I can’t believe it’s almost the end of 2019 already. Thanksgiving is almost upon us. This year we are spending it alone for the first time in years, and since I’m still recovering from a bad ankle sprain and a sinus/bronchitis thing, it’s just as well. We’ll spend the day in bed watching Thanksgiving shows and only making the foods we actually like.

The holidays can be stressful, so I like to find unconventional ways to celebrate. I love going to see the holiday lights at Bellevue Botanical Gardens, or imagining a winter snow queen themed Christmas tree. (Lots of owls, arctic foxes, and icicles?) I like trying new spins on regular recipes (gluten-free, of course.) This year, we’ve already done a practice run on pumpkin flan with maple caramel (thanks Ina Garten) and green beans and snap peas in a mustard vinaigrette, as well as a cornbread bread pudding with cranberries, apple, figs, chicken liver, and fennel. Poached pears have become a favorite breakfast item since the fall rolled in. Since I’m a little anemic this year (see: chicken liver,) I’m thinking of doing a drumstick only Thanksgiving (they have more iron than the breast.)

It can also be a great time to catch up on down time – music, movies and yes, reading and writing. What have you been putting off? For me, it’s another round of revision on my two circulating poetry book manuscripts, and I’m reading a book on writing memoir. I’ve also had a chance to listen to some new music and watch a few movies I missed in the theater.

Mary Ruefle is a Bad Kisser?

Mary Ruefle and Rebecca Hoogs, SAL

I got a chance to see Mary Ruefle read some poetry and prose and do a Q&A at SAL this week. Getting downtown was a nightmare, which reminded me why we don’t go downtown very often, and the building didn’t have any handicapped parking and was a million miles from any kind of parking, and getting to the hall the reading was in the required using an elevator that tried to kill me with crazed hard-slamming doors, but I was happy I made it. Mary Ruefle was very funny and I liked her prose work on friendship almost as much as I liked her poetry.

During the Q&A, someone asked her why she was a bad kisser (a reference to one of her poems.) She said “I find it boring. There are just so many better ways to spend your time. I’d much rather be reading and writing.” Well, there you go then.

Glenn and I pose at the candy shoppe theme at Molbaks

Music, Lizzo, and Movies

One thing that the downtime of the holidays allows is listening to some new music. I had heard Lizzo in the background of things – the radio, movies, commercials – but I had never taken the time to listen to her whole album or research anything about her. She got a degree in music, studying classical flute, after which she spent a year homeless, living out of her car. Eventually she got to work with Prince and made a lot of good impressions in the music industry, with her bubbly personality (charisma!)  and such upbeat, pop-soul-funk songs. I love nearly every song on Cuz I Love You, her latest album, and recommend everyone listen to it every morning. It’s very empowering, amusing, and fun.

I’m also looking forward to seeing some movies I missed in the theater, like The Goldfinch and Downtown Abbey. I already watched Where’d You Go Bernadette in the theater, but the second viewing really drove home the strong relationship it depicted between a slightly “different” daughter and her anxious architect mother. In the theaters, Frozen 2 and the last Star Wars Rise of Skywalker are bound to be big hits. I’ll also keep my eye out for interesting art pics that often come out this time of year. I feel like I watch more movies between Thanksgiving and Christmas than I do the whole rest of the year – darkness and rain tend to encourage this, along with more reading and writing. (And maybe, more kissing. Hey, I’m no Mary Ruefle – I like kissing at least as much as reading and writing, I will admit.)

New (prescription) sunglasses with fall leaves, sun

Another Round of Revision

This shot of Glenn and I in sunlight is probably the last we’ll see of the sun – it was taken this week, and for the Thanksgiving holiday, we are looking forward to (brrr) snow! Glenn and I both realized that our prescriptions were seven years old (!) and needed to update our old frames as well. I wanted to have some fun with our glasses. Hey, did you know Seattle sells more sunglasses than almost any other city?

So, what do we do in the dark? Do we wallow in our rejections? No. We get moving on another project. In my case, it’s the decision to really tighten both manuscripts that are circulating right now, one about being diagnosed with cancer, then MS, and solar weather, and the other about politics, witches, feminism, and monsters. I really believe these two books represent the best work I’ve done thus far, but I’m getting lots of “close” responses but not a lot of “yes.” Usually this means I still need to write some poems, get rid of others, and streamline the manuscripts.

It’s tough to be looking at my sixth and seventh books, and still feel like I haven’t quite “made” it. Like I still need to reach a little bigger audience, land a little more prestigious (and promotion-and-distribution friendly) press, I joked on social media this week that I wish we, like fiction and non-fiction writers, could approach big-deal publishers with just an elevator pitch instead of a $30 check and a 6-12 month wait to hear whether we are winners or losers. The whole process is so debilitatingly depressing, dehumanizing, etc. I wish more of the big publishers would just read poetry book samples with no fee. FSG? Graywolf? Norton? I wish more poetry publishers would actually promote the books in their catalogue. I’ve got a lot of wishes…

Sylvia with PR for Poets

Poets and Charisma

I did have some little pieces of good news this week, including a personal note from Tracy K. Smith, one of my poetry heroes, and some other secret news I can’t share but was surprising. And I had a great bracing talk with another poet friend about shaping a poetry manuscript and how we think we need to unravel the story of the book versus what we really do need to reveal.

We also talked about selling 10,000 poetry books – a feat I mention in my book PR for Poets that at least three poets (all male) I’ve known have accomplished. All three of those poets had – not perfect looks, or a lot of insider connections – but amazing personal charisma. When you talk to them, you feel a burst of light, as if all their energy is focused on you for that moment. We discussed whether I knew any women who had sold that many books that had that kind of charisma. I think the first woman I thought of was Dorianne Laux – you can barely move through a crowd when Dorianne shows up. Everyone loves her. People’s poetry can reflect that inner personality but having personal charisma will never hurt your poetry sales at a reading, or in general. What woman poets (besides the Instapoets) do you think have “10,000” book charisma? I was thinking…Ada Limon, maybe? Carolyn Forche? Marie Howe? Tracy K. Smith?

One problem is that, unlike men, a lot of women with charisma get penalized as being “slutty” or “crazy” – I’ve heard male poets, especially, using these terms disparagingly about big name female poets, which is disappointing (and this conversation seems strangely, depressingly familiar to the one we’re having about Presidents – one poll said 50 percent (!) of men “felt uncomfortable” with any woman as President. Ugh.) To avoid this, a woman has to avoid being overly sexy, overly emotional, or even being perceived in those ways. Way more work for us than it should be.

Anyway, here’s to revision, finding a great poetry press home for our manuscripts, and becoming charismatic poets!  Cozy up with a good book, maybe buy a few for your friends and family (ahem, see here and here,) and have a happy holiday!