Leaving Space for a Little Magic

Glenn and I at Willows Lodge

Leaving Room for a Little Magic

I had been sick for almost a month, just running a fever and too tired to do much out and about. Just this week, the fever sort of evaporated. I decided to go out and get my hair done before the holiday crush really started. Glenn went grocery shopping during the haircut. We were pretty tired, it wasn’t nice outside, but it was Friday night and I had just been talking with Glenn about how being sick (and other things) had stolen our opportunities for real dates and after 24 years of marriage (!!), going on dates seemed important to stay connected. Sometimes I miss the things where I just feel like a normal person, not a person being checked for cancer or being treated for MS or whatever, just a regular human. So I threw on a glitter sequin top that I thought I’d never have an opportunity to wear (I already had gold glitter hairspray on, thanks to my hairdresser) and Glenn fixed his hair and we decided to go see the live music down the street at our local fancy hotel with a wine bar, Willows Lodge – and I loved their Christmas decorations and giant stone fireplace. We had just sat down and put in an order while listening to a jazz trio play the “Game of Thrones” theme song – which tickled me. I was just listening to music, relaxing into a chair, when a woman approached us with two free tickets to a VIP wine and chocolate event at Columbia Winery next door since her friends hadn’t been able to show. My experience with life tells me, sometimes, when the universe offers you something strange, you should say yes. (Unless it’s timeshares-related.) The tickets were worth $85 apiece! So after we finished listening to the music and Glenn had some local hard cider (peach ginger!) and sweet potato fries (I highly recommend a visit there on a weekend evening for dates – we were in during Happy Hour and made it out for under $15!) we set out for the second half of our spontaneous date night.

Glenn and I at Columbia Winery’s wine and chocolate holiday event

We wondered over to Columbia Winery, which we had never visited. (You may know I can’t drink alcohol, and Glenn isn’t a huge drinker, so we aren’t really the best wine-country explorers, despite having lived in Napa and being surrounded by dozens of small wineries and tasting rooms here in Woodinville.) Well, the “gala” had fancy people in ball gowns and expensive shoes that all seemed to know each other, tons of stations where you could try wines from all kinds of different wineries, from port to sparkling to a ton of reds with chocolate pairings. There was live music and a huge buffet. It felt like maybe the fanciest thing we’d been to since the Microsoft party at the Four Seasons the first year I worked there  – and that was eighteen years ago! We wandered around talking to winemakers and Glenn got to try three or four wines and a lot of chocolate and cheese (he said the small wineries reminded him of the small publishers at the AWP bookfair – the smallest ones are so happy to talk about their work and show it off!) and we took pictures of the decor and checked out the wine-scented candles. For a night we expected nothing, feeling a little tired with the dismal weather (and trapped by a closed bridge to downtown Seattle all weekend,)  we ended up having a surprising and glamorous (and mostly free) date night!

Since I was not tipsy, just energized from all the unexpected magical date night things (and Glenn, even a little tipsy, made us a fantastic duck dinner with mashed potatoes and asparagus when we got home) and filled with a weird sense of what I think might have been “happiness” and “hopefulness,” I got into my softest pajamas, turned on a Christmas movie and settled in at my laptop. I sent my manuscript to a publisher, finished an editing project I’d been worrying over, and went to sleep remembering for a second what it was like when Glenn and I were first dating, before all the rigamarole with health problems and money worried and other adult-type worries. I remembered what it was like to just allow yourself to enjoy life without worrying about the things that might go wrong. Sometimes if we leave a little space and dress up in some glitter, we might discover a little magic.

Watch this Space!

I have poems upcoming in a week in the new issues of Shenandoah and Another Chicago Magazine. I’ll post when they go up. By the way, those are two places I’ve been longing to be published in for years. That’s a little bit of magic, too, for sure. I even got a $100 check in the mail for one poem! How often does that happen? (I try not to think about how many submission fees that will cover – a bunch of lit mag submissions, or three book submission fees?) In poetry, as in life, we have to allow for good surprises and yes, magic. A friend of mine got his book taken at a great press this week. And I thought, it’s been a great book for a long time – the magic happens when all you need is one big yes.

Coincidentally, Redmond was celebrating the lighting of the holiday tree yesterday – we got stuck in in the traffic – and today is the start of Hanukkah, which I always try to celebrate by making a few recipes for the season. I grew up with lots of friends who were Jewish, so I get nostalgic for the Hanukkah foods I miss from my childhood – latkes, rugelach (here’s a gluten-free FODMAP-friendly recipe, in case you also miss this treat and also can’t eat wheat.) So happy Festival of Lights, and happy beginning to the crazed holiday season. I’ve made plans to go see some writer friends for coffee and even attend a party or two if I can stay well long enough! I have to remember to pencil in space for magic, even when I feel discouraged, tired, wet, and like the cold fog might overwhelm me. You never know when the universe will hand you a reason to wear your glitter!!