Welcome to the Big Dark—Halloween Costumes and Cats, Hanging with Poet Friends, When You Contemplating Quitting (Poetry, etc) and End Times Mindsets, Bonus Bobcat
- At November 05, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 3
Welcome to the Big Dark!
Seattle welcomed—or, grudgingly accepted—the Big Dark last night, when the time change brought us dark mornings AND dark afternoons, and dark all the time in between. Plus, a week of power outages, rain and windstorms! You can see why Seattle-ites—even non-sunworshippers like myself—can suffer from depression this time of year.
Fortunately, the storms waited until after the trick-or-treaters on Halloween! You can see this picture of Glenn and I dressed up as Barbie and Ken (below). I couldn’t attend the Barbie movie premiere in person because my immune system (I was still being fairly protective because of some antibody infusions I was getting) so we brought the props home—a little child-size Barbie box and Glenn looking legit like Western Ken (sans fringe).
Plus, this cat was trying to escape disguised as Halloween candy. No good, Charlotte! We saw right through your schemes! We did get a lot of cute trick or treaters this year, which is always fun and we took the rest of our candy to a local winery that donates Halloween candy to the troops, which seems much better than Glenn and I eating it.
The weather also mercifully held out until my poet friend Kelli Russell Agodon and her husband Rose got on the ferry back to their home, after their visit out to see us and do some local celebrating at Woodinville’s Molbaks, which does some fantastic holiday display stuff (as you will see in pictures later in the post).
Because we visited the very day after Halloween, they didn’t have ALL the holiday decorations up yet—missing some lights and a huge poinsettia tree that was up two days later.
Hanging with Poet Friends
One thing I’ve been trying to do is make time to see friends in person—at three and a half years and counting, it’s been a long pandemic—and this week my friend Kelli and her husband made the long trek from over the water to see Glenn and me. Glenn provided a delicious brunch, we had sparkling wine from a local winery, and then we went adventuring at the aforementioned home and garden store famous for its over-the-top holiday decor—like $1100 stuffed display polar bears, oversized trees, camping scenes, holiday pastel bakery scenes. Hey, when you’re trying to stave off Big Dark (not to mention, horrible news all day everyday) sometimes you’ve got to do some crazy things. It is really good to see people we love in person. Kelli and I got to talk a little shop too—about writing, making money, survival as a poet, book sales during a pandemic, and more.
So below, another pic of Kelli and me, and then two pics of Glenn and I two days later at Molbaks’ holiday party because yes, that’s how much I like being around flowers in November.
When You’re Considering Quitting (Poetry and Etc)
I had the sad news today that Tom Holmes was quitting his quirky-but-fun poetry magazine that I’ve been a fan of for years, Redactions—and that’s the news after a couple of high-profile lit mags went down this week. Funding is being pulled, universities are laying off staff left and right, and lit mags are struggling. The poetry world in general is struggling, maybe just here in America, but it feels like maybe this is a larger phenomenon. People in general are struggling to feel hopeful. This made me think about mindsets of writers in the past. T.S. Eliot wrote his classic “end of the world” poem “The Waste Land” in 1922 – he hadn’t even been through the Great Depression or WWII yet!
I recently read Agatha Christie’s Hallowe’en Party (the book on which the recent movie Haunting in Venice is loosely based – free on Hulu right now, FYI). It was written in 1969, right after the UK took away the death penalty for murder, a change that Christie – a woman who, might I remind you, successfully faked her own death when she found out her first husband was cheating on her and obsessively read crime news articles – thought was definitely signaling moral decay and even an end to civilized society. (Hey, stuff was weird in 69—the first lines of the song “Beeswing” are “they called it the summer of love—they were burning babies burning flags the hawks against the doves”—sound familiar?)
When Virginia Woolf took her own life at the midst of WWII, her house in London had just been bombed and she legitimately thought the Nazis were going to win and come and kill her husband (who was Jewish). Did England at the end of 1941 feel like end times? I bet it did. Add to that health problems and mental health issues, and it became too much.
Sylvia Plath and Marilyn Monroe took their own lives way too young, both thinking they were somehow “over the hill” (!!) and looking at themselves as failures, when years later we still see them as legends. It is a shame neither lived long enough to see how long their legacies would last. If they’d only held on a little longer, maybe they would have known more about their own success, their impact?
It is easy to lose hope. Little and big things—the weather, current events, job and money anxiety—can make life seem that much harder for people who were already struggling. Be sure to reach out to your loved ones and make sure they are doing okay. Be extra kind to the people around you, if you can be. I am a girl who thinks about endings a lot—I mean, I wrote a book that was published a few years ago all about the end of the world, and that was BEFORE the pandemic, Trump, the recent wars in the Ukraine and the middle East.
This year, I turned 50, and I guess I am feeling a bit of the midlife crisis they advertise – that is, questioning my life’s work at this point, wondering why I haven’t been able to pay off my student loans yet, wondering if poetry is something I should continue doing, worrying over the dwindling numbers of poetry mags and book sales. Should I do something that makes more money but that I hate? My health problems at this point probably make working a “normal” job impossible, but taking disability—which some of my family members have advised, given how little money I’ve made in the last couple of years—seems extreme at this point. (Plus, dealing with lawyers and paperwork are two of my least favorite things—I barely apply for grants and residencies as it is because I will do anything to avoid paperwork. That they ask sick and disabled people to jump through so many hoops to get payments that would barely cover my grocery bill is another whole problem. The average wait time in this country to get disability is six years.)
I love art. I love encouraging and mentoring people, but teaching full time—which is the way many poets and writers make their living—seems not likely at this age. (Multiple degrees, and eight books, what do I have to show for it besides a lot of debt? Sigh, sigh.) I could do a part-time low-residency job, but those are few and far between. I’m told I’m good at editing, which I could do part-time, but honestly, it takes a lot of brain power and MS has made it harder than it used to be.
All this is just to say, how do we decide when it’s time to quit—a job, a relationship, or even a passion for an art that just doesn’t seem to be thriving the way we wish it would? I’ve quit poetry twice during my lifetime—in my middle twenties, right after my MA when I decided the poetry world was too corrupt and became a tech writing manager for a dozen years instead, and in my thirties, when I struggled to get my first book—the one that became Becoming the Villainess—published. My love of poetry and desire to do it has flared up intermittently—the two notable times, when I had double pneumonia and was living in California, struggling to pay regular bills, at the hospital on several IVs and oxygen and thought “I can’t die—I haven’t published my second book yet!” and again when I was diagnosed seven years ago with terminal cancer and thought “I can’t die—I still have more poems to write!” Every single decision we make in life has an impact—where we live, whom we live with, what we choose to do for a living, who we hang out with, how we vote, even adopting an animal, taking on volunteer work for a charity—and sometimes it’s good to have moments when we look hard at our current situations and ask: is this right for me, right now?
Anyway, I certainly don’t have all the answers. If you are a writer and questioning whether you’ve made the right decisions, I understand. Just remember we’re not always the best judges of whether or not we live in “end times” or whether or not we’ll be considered “failures” down the line. Don’t give up too easily. I am saying that to you and to myself. Maybe there are good things right around the corner.
And if you’ve made it this far, just for a little anti-darkness cheer, here is a real-life video from this week of a baby bobcat on my back porch. I mean, baby bobcats! Or bobkitten, if you will!
Happy Halloween! Spooky Season, Spooky Poems, Spooky Reading, Upcoming Speculative Reading
- At October 30, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 0
Happy Halloween! Spooky Season, Spooky Poems, Spooky Readings!
Happy Halloween! I bet a lot of you have already bought your candy, pumpkins, etc and maybe even gone to a Halloween party or two. My husband is a big Halloween fan, and the news (and social media) has been so grim lately, we’ve been trying to create some joy around us. We had two nights of record cold temperatures that knocked out the last of our garden’s flowers and froze our bird baths overnight. We had a lunar eclipse this week and the moon has been rising orange at the edge of the sky.
I myself have been struggling with a low mood, so I’ve been consciously trying to do things that usually cheer me up this time of year—visiting pumpkin farms, reading seasonal poetry and fiction, spending time with supportive people, and helping others. We brought some pumpkins and wine (Woodinville’s most popular exports) to my little brother for his new rental home housewarming, and it was great to see my little brother and his wife (who had been living much farther away, requiring a ferry ride and a rather temperamental and prone-to-surprise closures bridge). I spent time with the local farmers, talking strategy, flower planting, even poetry. Anyway, if you are feeling powerless in the face of evil, hatred, and doom, you’re not the only one. So, even though the pictures often show me smiling—like the ones below—just remember we are all doing the best we can.
Spooky Poem
I have a tradition of posting a spooky poem from my latest book on Halloween, and even though Flare, Corona is a little less horror-and-speculative centric than some of my other books, there are some Halloween-y poems in there. Here’s one of them, originally published in Boulevard: “Self-Portrait as Murder Mystery:”
Spooky October Reading
What do you like reading in October? Our Read-Between-the-Wines book club read Osamu Dazai’s Blue Bamboo short story collection this October, and the discussion was great – and a lot of people got into the spirit and came in costume, so that was fun. I’ve also been reading Agatha Christie’s Halloween Party, the slightly-more-disturbing basis for the new movie Haunting in Venice, Kiki’s Delivery Service by Eiko Kadono, the coming-of-age story about a young witch that was the basis of Miyazaki’s movie of the same name (very Halloween-appropriate for kids!) I also read Louise Glück’s books in honor of her recent passing, including American Originality: Essays in Poetry, and my first editions of House on Marshland and Meadowlands (which will be the book club’s November read!) House on Marshland includes one of the greatest Gluck poems of all time, “Gretel in Darkness,” also great reading for Halloween.
I’m still wrapping my head around the lyric essay and so re-reading some books of lyric essays in my collection, including Jenny Offill’s Department of Speculation and her newer Weather.
I’m doing a reading on Zoom for Speculative Sundays, on November 19 at 7-8 PM, and you can sign up for free tickets here: Speculative Sundays Poetry Reading Series presents Jeanine Hall Gailey Tickets, Sun, Nov 19, 2023 at 7:00 PM | Eventbrite
Happy Halloween, My Friends
So, take care of yourselves and have yourself a joyous Halloween, Day of the Dead, All Saints Day, or Samhain. Take time to look at the moon, maybe eat some candy, read something spooky.
A New Review of Flare in New Pages, Pumpkins and Typewriters, Halloween Mystery Parties and Thoughts on the Lyric Essay
- At October 23, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 1
Typewriters, Pumpkin Farms, and Spooky Stories
This week has been busy—a new review of Flare, Corona in New Pages, a few visits to pumpkin farms, a Halloween Mystery night at a local winery, and a re-reading of Osamu Dazai’s Blue Bamboo for the October winery book club and reading up on the lyric essay form. Plus, typewriters in the wild has a new location—growing in a pumpkin field!
I have been practicing with my new camera some more, this time with typewriters. I love being around farms and farmers—and they are usually people I feel so comfortable with—that sometimes, even with my MS/health stuff, I wonder if I missed my calling to become a farmer. This week, the kind farmer at McMurtrey’s Pumpkin and Tree farm invited us to take home handfuls of dahlias and tomatoes. We talked about how to keep our apple trees from catching diseases and how to rotate dahlias and pumpkins. I know people say Seattle has a reputation for unfriendliness, but you won’t find it among Woodinville farmers or farm workers. A few pictures from that farm and backyard below.
A Review of Flare, Corona in New Pages
I was pleased and surprised—I’m always surprised to get a new review of a book that’s been out more than six months, but I’m also grateful. Here’s the link: Book Review :: Flare, Corona by Jeannine Hall Galley – NewPages.com
And a sneak peek of the review below:
Halloween Mystery Parties
This weekend we did a Halloween mystery night (themed: witches and druids) at J. Bookwalter’s Winery in Woodinville (hence the pictures to the left: that is a raven on my head, thanks). A lot of the party was set outside and it was a nice night, thankfully, so we didn’t have to worry too much about the dreaded covid.
It was not a typical murder-mystery scenario—more like a sort of goth video game? I’m very competitive so I was sad we didn’t win, but the team that won had five people who were way more committed than we were—costume wise AND game-wise. Anyway, it was a good way to shake up our routine date night and it was very on theme for the week before Halloween.
Lyric Essays and More
One of the things I’m working on now is an essay, ironically, on lyric essays, so I’ve been doing some research, reading some books of lyric essays. It’s weird for me, since I’ve been a journalist, a technical writer, an ad copywriter, a book reviewer, and a poet, but until the pandemic I didn’t write personal essays or lyric essays. Even though I’ve had some essays published I certainly don’t consider myself any kind of expert.
But on Facebook I put up a query and got some really interesting answers, from people who definitely are more qualified than me. And as a poet I’m attracted to the idea of an essay that isn’t necessarily: theme, point, point, conclusion. That allows for leaps, long parentheticals and ellipses – in short, essays that mimic poetry in a lot of ways.
Here’s a little fun read if you, like me, are interested in creative nonfiction and how to define the lyric essay: my friend and fellow poet Julie Marie Wade’s lyric essay on defining the lyric essay—funny and useful: What’s Missing Here? A Fragmentary, Lyric Essay About Fragmentary, Lyric Essays ‹ Literary Hub (lithub.com)
Anyway, my research has led me to think about experimenting more with the form. Next week, I promise to post a more spooky post with spooky poems!
A Week of Solar Eclipse, Loss and Sadness, a Tribute to Louise Glück, and Some Thoughts on Poetry, Academia, Ambition and the Establishment
- At October 16, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 1
Pictures of Fall and a Post about Solar Eclipses, Sadness, and Poetry
I have some gorgeous pictures from a beautiful bluebird day earlier this week when we managed to get out into nature and visit some local farms, but right now I’ve been sick in bed all weekend, a rainy weekend that reminded me that the end of the year is coming faster than I expected.
I’ve been feeling down this week—no wonder, with the endless tragic stream from Israel and Gaza, with the death of one of my favorite poets, and the shorter days and illness, it’s hard to post a chipper post. I can at least report I’ve been practicing my bird shots on the new camera, so hopefully the new ones will be better.
Tribute (of sorts) to Louise Glück
Louise Glück passed away this week, which made me remember all my encounters with one of my favorite contemporary poets. Not a warm and fuzzy person, she was stylish and her writing always had an edge. I call her one of my “villainess” writing heroes—along with Margaret Atwood—who eschew easy, nice, characters and conversations in their writing. They deny the need for women to be, “nice”.
When I was an undergrad at UC (Ohio), she came to visit, and I got to ask her a question. It was just after Wild Iris was published and won the Pulitzer, and I asked her if H.D. was an influence. She replied she had no idea who that was—and to this day, I don’t know if she was messing with me or she genuinely had no idea about one of more famous female modernists who wrote arresting poems about flowers. Maybe? That night she gave a reading from some new poems from Meadowlands, and I brought my little brother who was in high school, and some of his friends —their first poetry reading. He went right up to her after the reading, and, knowing the way to a girl’s heart, complimented her shoes—which were excellent, and she giggled like a schoolgirl and could not have appeared more delighted. And my brother and his friends—all of them looking faintly menacing—could not have had a better time. At a poetry reading!
As I started to try to define who I was a poet, I know that certain female poets—of the dead, Emily D., of course, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Sylvia Plath—but Gluck, Atwood, Lucille Clifton, Rita Dove, Denise Duhamel, and Dorianne Laux – they became like a power source that I could go back to, to read and energize. I only got a few chances to see Atwood, got to have dinner with Denise on one of her trips to Seattle, and worked with Dorianne while she was at Pacific U but I saw Glück read probably five times, which is amazing, considering we live on different coasts and I don’t think she loved travelling or giving readings, especially as she got older. (I missed Lucille Clifton as she had to cancel her Seattle trip due to one of her final chemo appointments. I’m still sorry about that. I wish I could have told her all her work meant to me.) Anyway, here is one of my favorite poems of hers, perfect for spooky October with its hauntings: “Gretel in Darkness,” from her second book, House on Marshland, published when I was two years old.
Is October a Season of Mourning?
Louise certainly thought it was—so many poems about October and death and mourning, come to think of it. Since Glück was my father’s age, it brought to mind sad thoughts about my parents’ mortality. The news has been relentlessly grim—even SNL, John Oliver and Colbert had to make pre-show statements to comment on the horror before trying to make us laugh about other subjects, just like, as I remember, it was in the aftermath of 9/11.
There is something about the solar eclipse with ring of fire, the new moon this week, that also made me think of portents. In the Northwest, the sunlight becomes weaker, the night coming surprisingly fast. And yes, it’s cold, flu (and covid, still) season, which means I caught something and am probably not in the best shape to be writing anything deep and meaningful, even though I want to.
Some Thoughts on Poetry, Academia, Ambition and the Establishment
I had been thinking of eliminating this blog—or moving to Substack—when I ran into a couple of posts that made me grateful for this longform, easy-to-find-and-read, method of thinking and communicating that’s outside the gates of Facebook, Twitter, or academic publishing.
The first was by my friend Lesley Wheeler—about the closing of Gettysburg Review, the waning of literary criticism and of the English Department—and indeed, academe in general. The other was my blog-gatherer-extraordinaire and haiku poet Dave Bonta, who wrote a post about ambition, poetry, and careers. Both posts are thought-provoking and worth your time. One thing that Dave mentions that I have found to be true is that poetry in academia is a colder, meaner sort of world than say, the speculative poetry world, the horror poetry world, or, in Dave’s experience, the haiku/haibun community. When Lesley talks about the closing and narrowing of academia’s support of poetry, literature, liberal arts in general, I am reminded of all my reading on Cold War Culture than indicated the American government was secretly propping up—and using for propaganda—many of the big journals we have come to think of as “permanent” features. Between the fifties and the eighties, the intelligence community thought it was important to show that America had its own artists that could compete with Russia’s—and, of course, they wanted to follow any potential communists into artistic enclaves. So, they gave money to Kenyon Review, Poetry, Paris Review, they helped publish books like Dr. Zhivago. Now, anti-intellectualism is king in politics—the government’s no longer interested in being a patron of the arts. Lesley mentions the patronage that most artists need to live as disappearing—but maybe it was always a sort of mirage. How many people in my generation could even procure a tenure track job in English Literature or Creative Writing? And the chances for the people younger than me, even less. Last week I talked about money and the awards system—a sort of insider trading post about how being wealthy enables you to get more money from grants, awards, and fellowships because you know some sort of secret password—whether it’s a certain college degree, championship by a wealthy mentor, or other. These things feel forbidden to talk about in the poetry world—but I feel it’s also important to point out that the poetry world is as corrupt and given to influence as any field, but also has its havens from that corruption if you look for them.
As a writer, I’ve always felt like an outsider—first, being a woman who did not come (or marry into) money, now, being a disabled and chronically ill woman who still has not won the lottery—and part of me feels like I’ve been beating a fist on the big blank walls of poetry institutions for more than twenty years. I’ve written hundreds of reviews, too, a world that is apparently disappearing, the idea of literary criticism itself being valuable enough to be paid for—was that a waste of time? Dave’s comments on ambitions as it refers to writing—not career—are important, as they get to a truth that might be more important now as it feels so many things we value are decaying before our eyes—that creating art is beautiful and worthwhile, and so is making art accessible to everyone, not just an elite few.
In the Days After the Solar Eclipse
So, in these days after the solar eclipse with ring of fire, a photograph of which became the book cover art rendering for Flare, Corona, my latest book, I hope you are creating, celebrating creating, reading and making art for art’s sake. I don’t wish you to ignore the ugliness of the world—we cannot, even if we want to—but I hope for this particular solar weather to invoke some kind of peace, healing, and hope around the world, and in me and you as well.
I just walked out in my front yard – I couldn’t sleep after sleeping most of the day, and it felt cooler outside—and as I admired Glenn’s work with the Halloween decorations, I heard two owls hooting (pretty close to me) and a coyote. At first, I thought we had spooky sound effects on, but no! It was nature’s own spooky sound effects. Maybe that is the blessing of the world at night—so peaceful, always a little beautiful and a little threatening.
October or August? More Pumpkin Farms, A Review of Lessons in Chemistry on Apple TV+, Talking a Little about Prizes (and Why You Shouldn’t Feel Bad if You Don’t Win)
- At October 09, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 4
October or August? More Pumpkin Farms, Prizes, and Shows for Smart Girls
This week it has felt more like August than October, with sunny skies and temps up to 80°F! Glenn and I took advantage of the sun to make the rounds of our favorite pumpkin farms and gardens, Glenn got lots of outdoor projects done, and I walked so much every day my feet hurt (for an MS person, this is a good thing! It means you’re walking more and your legs aren’t giving out before your feet!)
It was also a week where many awards including the Nobel Prize and the MacArthur Genius Grant, were announced, so if you’re feeling like an also-ran, I’ve got a little bit to say about that later on in the post.
I also had a sneak peek at the new Apple TV show Lessons in Chemistry, based on the book about a frustrated female chemist who becomes a cooking show star. My review later in the post too.
For now, pictures of sunsets in Kirkland, Bob’s Corn & Pumpkin farm near Maltby (also a purveyor of excellent Pazazz apples, which are like even better Honeycrisps), and of course our local garden center and JB Growers Pumpkin Farm and Sunflower maze:
A Brief Review from a Sneak Peek of the First Episode of Lessons in Chemistry on AppleTV+
I got a chance to see an early sneak peek of the first episode of the show based on book (which I really liked) Lessons in Chemistry. The intro’s music and art are pretty cool (doodling DNA with perky fifties tunes and colors), and Brie Larson does a fairly good job of the put-upon smart girl chemist who turns into a television cooking personality. This book covers a lot of the same ground that our recent Woodinville book club pick, When Women Were Dragons, sans dragons. It’s a very satisfying watch for any girl who’s been underappreciated and underestimated in the sciences (says the girl with the pre-med biology degree) and reminded me of several incidences that happened to me in the eighties and nineties. My question is, are there enough STEM girls to sustain an audience for the show? My husband, who has a degree in chemical engineering and is also a wonderful cook, was impressed, but thought the science parts weren’t hard-core enough. I will definitely tune in to watch it again on its real debut date. There have been several shows, including Dickenson (about the life of Emily Dickinson) that AppleTV+ gave a home to that maybe mainstream outlets wouldn’t have. This might be one of them. I wish the show luck.
And Speaking of Underappreciated…Talking about Awards and When You Don’t Win Them
This week might have felt discouraging to you (or encouraging, depending on your POV) with the announcements of the Nobel Prize and the MacArthur Genius Grants. Now, these are some of the biggest prizes, so you might not have been disappointed (see a hilarious discussion of a suicide attempt by Steve Corell in Little Miss Sunshine related to the MacArthur…I remember being the only one laughing in the theater during the joke, but I bet you guys would get it).
So…you’re a writer of a certain age, who has written a certain number of books, and after, say, twenty years, you’re still not getting major attention for your work. Read: you are not winning the big money, big attention awards.
But think about this: the people that are winning the big awards are not winning by accident, and maybe not even because of their talent. Someone out there has done a PR campaign, gotten to have lunch with the right people in charge, went to the right schools, got the right mentors. And a LOT of that has to do with class and with money. No disrespect to people that win big, but if you look behind the curtains, you’ll notice that a LOT of them have a LOT of money. It costs something to put yourself out there in the best light—either money from your publisher, or your family, or from powerful mentors at powerful institutions. Does this mean, shocking intake of breath, literature is not always a meritocracy? I’m just going to suggest that those of you struggling with not getting a major award should realize that there are aspects of the world of grants, fellowships, prestige awards that are not going to be…completely in your control. I wish people would talk about this stuff a little bit more and be more honest about what it takes to really make it as a poet. For instance, Louise Gluck inherited a fortune from her father’s invention of the X-acto knife. Merwin inherited a ton of money, TS Eliot married it (and then put his wife in an institution so he could access that money faster). No shade on any of those poets (well, maybe a little at Eliot—what a jerk!), but they were able to be influential poets because they had talent but also because they had money.
Not to say every poet with money becomes influential, or every prize winner has secret millions (but you’d be surprised how many do!) I wasn’t born with money, I didn’t marry into money, and I didn’t win the lottery, so I didn’t go to the fanciest schools and I’m still paying off student loans from my less-fancy schools. Does that mean I will live a writer’s life without recognition, awards, fellowships, etc? Not necessarily. I do know people who are just like me who have succeeded in making the “big time.” And Sylvia Plath won the Pulitzer…but not ’til many years after her death. So perhaps we all—writers, scientists, people in competitive fields like composing or physics—feel that we are being looked over, but continue with our work nonetheless. I remember my father, a robotics scientist, was always depressed a week or so after learning he didn’t win an NSF (the science equivalent of the NEA) grant. I later had a college roommate who was one of the people who screened NSF applications, who told me it was a depressing job because there were so many great applicants, but she could only choose a very small number to win. I think about both those things a lot.
So instead, let’s write not to win awards but because you like creating, and make sure not to let a rejection or someone else getting a prize you wanted ruin even a week of your life. After all, outside are pumpkin farms and sunsets and turning leaves. There are wars going on, yes, but there are also kind people doing kind things for other people. When we have wildfire smoke here, sometimes all you can do is notice the wildfires. When you feel a depression because you’ve worked many years and have little to show for it, it can feel like that wildfire smoke—it’s all you see and feel. Humans are built to notice danger, so we also have a negativity bias towards remembering our rejections, our failures, the things we haven’t gotten, the fires and wars going on around us, rather than our successes, our loved ones, evidence of kindness and the beautiful things in the world.
I didn’t mean to go a little dark here at the end. I may have been feeling a little down lately about my own writing and the writing life in general, questioning my purpose and my future. The new war that just sparked overnight, an earthquake close to here, all things that unsettle and upend. Though I love fall, the season does tend to make me more of a ruminant—what am I doing with my life? Where am I heading? I did want to reassure other writers that the reasons that they might be overlooked are more complex than they imagine, and money is such a taboo topic among writers, when it really shouldn’t be. I hope you feel a little better and wishing you a happy October week ahead. If you’re lucky enough to have some sunshine, I wish you pumpkin farms and a bunch of really good apples.
Welcome October! A Busy Week: Reading Reports, Supermoons, Writing Friend Dates, New Poems and New Reviews of Flare, Corona and Pumpkin Farm Visits
- At October 02, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 1
Welcome October—Time to Visit Pumpkin Farms!
Welcome to October! Here we had a weekend of cool sunshine after a week of a deluge of cold, crazy hard rain. I had a new fairy tale poem appear in the journal The Broken City and a kind new review of Flare, Corona in TAB journal. I had a really delightful Zoom book launch with Malaika and Redheaded Stepchild Lit Mag and a wonderful group of North Carolina readers and writers. We also had book club (We read The Arsonist’s Guide to Writer’s Homes of New England at Bookwalters in Woodinville, and we chose Osamu Dazai’s Blue Bamboo for next month), plus a Supermoon! And I got together with an old friend to catch up and wonder through a sunflower maze. Whew! I am ready for sleep.
So here’s a gallery of Glenn and I at McMurtrey’s Pumpkin Farm and JB Grower’s Pumpkin and Puzzle Farm.
Supermoons, a Reading Report, a New Poem and a New Review of Flare, Corona
The Harvest Supermoon meant I didn’t get as much sleep this week as I’d like, but I still loved seeing it. The last Supermoon of the year, and it was beautiful!
So, this week was one of the more fun Zoom readings I have done for Flare, Corona, and I really enjoyed the reading, the Q&A, even the open mic. It took place in North Carolina—I even had a computer freeze in the middle of the Q&A—but it still was really delightful.
Here’s a link to watch the Zoom reading on YouTube thanks to Malaika along with a still pic.
Book Launch with Jeannine Hall Gailey & Open Mic with Redheaded Stepchild – YouTube
It was a great week for poetry news too!
I had a poem in the cool journal Broken City and the theme was very Halloween-appropriate!
Here’s a link to read my new poem in the Broken City (a PDF journal):
Broken City – The first poem is mine
And I had a wonderful and kind review of Flare, Corona in the journal TAB. Here’s a link to read a new review of Flare, Corona in the innovative PDF and print journal TAB: Tab Journal Vol 10 July 2022 Issue (My review is on page 48).
How to Reconnect with Friends After a Pandemic
Did the pandemic make you a bit more of an introvert? I think the last few years made my extroverted self kind of wilt. So I wanted to get back in touch with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while and make purposeful “friend dates” just to reconnect this fall. And guess what? It’s been great! And I get to spend time with amazing people.
Yesterday I got to see my friend Tatyana Mishel Sussex (who is an awesome creativity coach and writes memoir and poetry), and we decided to go to a local pumpkin farm, JB Growers Pumpkin Farm and Puzzle Patch, wander around in corn and sunflower mazes, and catch up over tea and Glenn-made snacks. It was such a boost to the spirit! Even those of us who are super-nervous about covid can make outdoor meetups happen. (And thank you Tatyana! You are a ray of sunshine.)
Below are a few pics from the day. I hope this inspires those of you who have been feeling a little closed-off after three years of the pandemic to call up a friend or two and make a date! Or at least visit a local pumpkin farm. Tis the season!
It’s Fall Witches! Autumn Equinox with Glass Pumpkins, a Reading Report from Edmonds Bookshop and an Upcoming Zoom Reading, Exciting Acceptances
- At September 25, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 1
It’s Fall Witches! Autumn Equinox with Glass Pumpkins (and New Hair Color Debut)
Happy Fall! Now that the autumn equinox has come and gone, we in Seattle have seen the return of the cold (brrr) and rain that defines our region between September and May. I’ve changed my hair from pink to a more autumn-friendly color in honor of the season.
I’ve had a busy week—a reading with Catherine Kyle Broadwall at Edmonds Bookshop, a visit to a Glass Pumpkin exhibit, and four (!) rejections and two acceptances—including a really exciting one I’ll tell you about further down.
So here are a few pictures from our visit to Molbak’s and their Glass Pumpkin Day from Tacoma Glassmaking studios. We ended up getting a little amanita glass mushroom, but everything was gorgeous. Molbak’s in September was already putting up holiday decorations, so we snapped a picture! Funny! We just barely started putting out our fall decorations…It’s weird that we’re already heading into the end of 2023. It went faster than I thought!
Reading Report from Edmonds Bookshop and an Upcoming Zoom Reading
On Thursday evening I did a reading with Catherine Kyle Broadwall (she read from her fun new book, Fulgurite—full of fairy tale poems!) and read from Field Guide to the End of the World and Flare, Corona, which I think went pretty well. Had a good crowd, it was a super cute store—great eclectic magazine sections, great fiction and poetry sections, and a stuffed narwhal hanging from the ceiling, and we sold a lot of books, which was fun. It had been a minute since I’d done a reading, so I was glad it went pretty well.
I have a Zoom reading coming up on Thursday at 4 PM Pacific with Redheaded Stepchild Literary Magazine—more info on Facebook about how to sign up for the Zoom reading here: Book Launch with Jeannine Hall Gailey & Open Mic with Redheaded Stepchild | Facebook
If you can’t make it out to the Seattle area, please come see me read on Zoom! Should be fun!
A Busy Week of Rejections AND Exciting Acceptances
It’s been a busy week this week writing-wise as well. I got a total of four rejections and two acceptances this week – and one was from a place I’ve been trying to get into for years, JAMA, or the Journal of the American Medical Association. I’m not a doctor, but I do have a pre-med biology degree, and I write medically themed poetry all the time, so it seemed like a natural fit—but the first poem they took wasn’t at all medically related, ironically. Ha ha!
Fall always means new pens and notebooks, catching up on paperwork, starting the academic year—so even those of us who don’t work in academia will be affected by the increased work at literary magazines or invitations to come read at classes, all that sort of thing.
Although I am still recovering from my antibody infusion from almost two weeks ago, I’m starting to feel a little more productive as the days get colder and shorter. I’ve been trying to catch up on reading, writing, and submissions, as well as getting blurbs written (two done, one to go) and other writerly side-work.
I hope you are all at home tonight with a cup of hot apple cider and a good book, and enjoying whatever gives you the fall vibes. Maybe I’ll put on a spooky movie and try to get to sleep early—I’ve got a week full of medical appointments (much less fun than the reading!) so hopefully I can keep my energy going.
An Infusion, A New Review for Flare, Corona, an Upcoming Reading at Edmonds Bookshop, and Spending Time in Flower Fields
- At September 17, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 1
Still Alive! An Infusion, Recovery Time, and a New Review of Flare, Corona
So, Monday I was healthy enough to get my antibody infusion finally, so I spent four hours with a needle in my vein, getting my temperature and blood pressure checked, and getting antibodies I can’t create put into my body. No major problems yet—still alive, as the pictures will prove—but I was knocked out for at least four days. I know some people with MS get these things once a month – as well as cancer patients, and people with immune problems like mine – but this was my first “infusion center” experience.
At least I got to finish my book (Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, about two childhood friends who become game developers) and finally watch the Barbie movie, as well as a Joyride (think The Hangover, but for girls). One weird side effect was that I was fatigued but could barely sleep at all the first three days, hence all the reading and movie watching. Barbie did make me laugh but wasn’t quite as girl-power-y as I’d hoped, and I felt the overall message for viewers was somewhat sad; Barbie’s famous last scene isn’t going to college or getting to be CEO of Mattel, it’s going to the ob/gyn? I know it was meant as a joke, but I felt like it a bit deflating. The “Kens” got a lot of the laughs, and the human girls/women and the Barbies seemed so defeated. I wonder if my reaction is one of high expectation: it had gorgeous costumes, makeup, and sets, and a lot of Barbie-inside jokes and hat-tips to classic movies, but I just wanted…more? Joyride, on the other hand, was a heart-breaking/funny meditation on friendship, race and racism, work, and love/sex. It was maybe the more empowering movie? But again, I went in with no expectations, really.
A New Review of Flare, Corona up at The Poetry Question
I was a little bit out of it when it came out, but a brand new (and very kind) review of Flare, Corona came out at The Poetry Question. Here’s a quote:
“As someone new to Gailey’s work, I was instantly and repeatedly struck with how effective the author is at discussing some of the hardest moments of human experience with absolute grace and subtlety. Flare, Corona is an essential addition to disability poetics, a collection that offers an unashamed and deeply vulnerable window into chronic illness.”
Read the whole thing at the below link:
REVIEW: FLARE, CORONA BY JEANNINE HALL GAILEY (BOA EDITIONS) – (thepoetryquestion.com)
An Upcoming Reading at Edmond Bookshop—in the News!—this Thursday
I’m reading from Flare, Corona with my friend Catherine Broadwall for her second book, Fulgurite, at the Edmonds Bookshop this Thursday from 6-7 PM (early!) so I hope to see some of you there. It’s part of the Edmonds Thursday night art walk event which should be fun! Some media info on it:
- Art Beat: Fiber arts, Art Walk Edmonds, poetry, wreath submissions, plus writing conference and ballet auction – My Edmonds News
- Poetry reading set for Sept. 21 in Edmonds | HeraldNet.com
Recovery Involves a Lot of Flower Gardens
On the fifth day, I was up and around enough to 1) send out a poetry submission, and 2) visit my local Woodinville flower farm, pick up a few cool black squash, and a bouquet of flowers. It was a short outing, but it felt good to walk around in the fresh air and nature.
I finally slept better that night—at least four hours, which was better than I’d done the other nights. My mental abilities definitely felt better after that.
On the sixth day, Saturday, Glenn and I decided to make a spontaneous fast trip up to La Conner, where we found a mysterious amount of corn growing everywhere—the tulip fields, the bird sanctuary? And enjoyed ourselves, stopping by a local farm stand and a quick trip to Roozengaarde tulip farm, which was having a corporate party and to our surprise, did not have its famous bulbs available yet. We still enjoyed walking around enjoying the windmill and dahlias. We didn’t really get up there early enough for most shops or a lot of the coffee shops/restaurants/etc to be open, or the Northwest Museum of Art (which is genuinely very cool) but we still had a good time before we turned around and made the hour+ trip home. I love the Skagit Valley area—the people seem genuinely friendly, and you get to see cows and horses and alpacas and lots of beautiful old barns and a lot of rural beauty. It still seems like a nice place to retire (if/when we get around to that.)
For now, just grateful to still be kicking and hopefully better off with the antibody treatment, ready to get out into the world and do a poetry reading with a friend at a cool indie bookstore this week, grateful for people reading and reviewing Flare, Corona in this busy world where poetry is so easily overlooked. Grateful for good weather, and flower farms near and far.
Taking Advantage of Sunny September Days to Do the Things We Missed All Summer: a Visit to the Japanese Garden, Open Books, Elliot Bay Books, Time at the Flower Farm
- At September 10, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 1
Taking Advantage of Sunny September Days to Do the Things We Missed All Summer
I was rejected from my infusion clinic on Thursday because I had some cold symptoms (negative covid test, thank goodness), but we used that day instead—since we were up early and downtown—to do something we’d missed doing all summer—visiting Seattle’s Japanese Garden. With the launch of Flare, Corona and various readings, radio things and podcasts in April and May, and family visits and illnesses and smoke over the summer, we haven’t had a lot of leisure downtime. So, we set out to use a string of sunny September days (warm, but not too warm, and no smoke!) We planned so many things: the Zoo, La Conner, visiting Roq La Rue art gallery, Open Books, and the Japanese Garden, plus visiting our local flower farm before it transforms into a pumpkin farm. Was that a realistic plan for three days? It was not. But we did have some great outdoor time in and around Seattle.
Outings to Open Books, Elliot Bay Books, and Volunteer Park
Seattle people tend to have a bit on panic in their eyes this time of year because their FOMO is activated by the arrival of the “Big Dark.” We are probably no different, having been here so many years that we automatically go into outdoor plan overdrive on nice days.
Now, getting to Seattle from Woodinville took an hour because literally every way to get everywhere was closed due to city construction—and feel sorry for those dependent on the Bainbridge ferry, which was down for cars, bikes, and scooters for a week. Does Seattle DOT have problems? It does! Do they have a ton of tax money to fix it but somehow manage not to? Yes!
Anyway, once we got downtown, we didn’t want to waste the trip—so we hit everything at once—after navigating the construction on the main UW hospital campus (yes, also a nightmare)—we chilled out at the Japanese Garden and went to the UW district’s awesome Bulldog Newstand, which has a ton of obscure lit mags and foreign magazines of all types, and now they also have fancy ice cream.
The second downtown trip we originally wanted to hit the zoo and Roq La Rue, but because of traffic, everything was closing as we arrived, and we made the decision to only hit Open Books before they closed. We got new books by Oliver de la Paz, Terrance Hayes, Major Jackson, and checked out a ton more. After we stayed ’til closing time, we went a couple blocks down to Elliot Bay Books, where we picked up the new Lorrie Moore book, marveled at the terrific poetry section (where Flare, Corona was fronted at the top—squee!), bought a few more lit mags, and chatted with the friendly book salespeople about our favorite releases and theirs.
We hadn’t really visited Volunteer Park since before the pandemic, so we decided on a stroll before the long car ride back to Woodinville. We were pleasantly surprised by a new amphitheater and a live concert by a band called Space Echo as well as a new (ish?) dahlia garden. The conservatory and the Asian Art Museum—both awesome—of course also closed super early, but we had a great time and felt a lot of serendipity with the flowers and music.
We also enjoyed “magic hour” at the JB Family Grower’s Flower Farm, where the lavender was mostly done blooming, but the sunflowers, zinnias, and dahlias were still putting on a great show. In two weeks, the farm transforms to a corn maze and pumpkin farm, so we’ll probably spend the remaining nice fall days hanging out there. Do we still want to make it to visit the red pandas at Woodland Park Zoo, see the art at Roq la Rue, and see La Conner as it turns to fall? Yes! But maybe we shouldn’t have expected to do it all in three days. Serendipity made each trip we made downtown unique and enjoyable, despite getting postponed at the hospital infusion center (now set for Monday?) and the traffic. Does the MS affect me in the amount I can do in a day? It does. Was it discouraging and frustrating to navigate the UW medical system between different standards doctors have and the infusion center? Yes. Am I exhausted now? Yes! Did I get much poetry (writing, submitting, writing blurbs) done? Well, I judged one poetry contest, so it wasn’t nothing, but it wasn’t as much as I would have done had it been cold and rainy. But we have plenty of that kind of weather ahead of us!
So I have the infusion scheduled for tomorrow (for now – unless they reject me again.) I know I won’t be up to much after the infusion so it’s good to make some good memories when I can. I hope you have some wonderful weather and time to get outside in your town and let some serendipity happen!
A Supermoon, a Surgery, and One Perfect Fall Day, Plus the Importance of Joy and Healing
- At September 04, 2023
- By Jeannine Gailey
- In Blog
- 2
A Supermoon, A Surgery…
So, the day of the supermoon, Glenn had a right-hand surgery, which we’d hoped would be simple but ended up being pretty complicated (read: long, expensive, involving IV antibiotics, stitches, a biopsy, etc.) He is on his way to healing now but for four days he was pretty incapacitated—and that meant I was trying to fill in the gaps—cat and Glenn caretaking, making sure we had food to eat (not much of a cook here, in case you didn’t know), and four nights of barely any sleep for me. The good news is, there was no cancer, he seems to be feeling much better. It’ll be a while before his hand is back to normal, but at least it seems to be on its way.
After four pretty miserable days, we decided to have a day off (after Glenn’s post-surgical check-in and bandage removal, of course) and devote ourselves to just doing fun things.
One Perfect Fall Day—and the Importance of Joy to Healing
I have a friend who’s had pretty serious cancer for about seven years. She told me the secret of her longevity – to treat her body as a friend, to live with joy, to give her body a reason to live and to heal. That struck me as very profound and has stayed with me.
Since Glenn was recovering and I have a pretty tough week ahead (meeting with immunologist, then getting an immunology infusion at the downtown hospital), we decided to take advantage of the one day without smoke or rain—a perfect 74°-degree day, a little haze but no smoke and a wonderful breeze.
So we started our perfect fall day and went to our local garden center, Molbaks, to check out their Halloween decorations (you can count on them having displays up by September 1) to get our fall feels, and then a trip to our favorite local lavender (soon to be pumpkin) farm, where we walked through the sunflowers, listening to the bees and the finches, felt the breeze, got some fresh air and easy exercise. We even gathered some flowers to bring home and for some time, just existed—no deadlines, nothing to do and no place to be—until it was almost sunset. I could have easily fallen asleep in the grass out there.
We came home, watched some of the Harry Potter marathon on SyFy with hot cider, and finally got a good night’s sleep. I consider all of this a type of medicine—different than that in Glenn’s IV or my infusion—a way to remind ourselves of the gentleness and beauty of life, not just the grind and the chores and the pain and struggles. There are enough of those every day—sometimes you have to turn your attention to the good.
Today is rainy and cool, and we tidied the house, I organized and put away my summer clothes, and we started to really prepare for fall. We bought the last doughnut peaches for cake and made barbequed chicken and cornbread with the last good corn. I lit a couple of pumpkin coffee candles. We paid attention to the cats, who felt they had been very neglected the last few days.
I did a few submissions this week in a bit of a daze, because submission windows can be short and demanding, even when life is chaos. I also tried to catch up a bit with my reading—even picking up a few new books to start (ambitious, I know, but fall seems like a good time to acquire new books—especially important when you’re spending a long time at the hospital with a needle in your arm).
As the seasons transition, a few of my friends noted the stress of the change, the return to different rhythms. In Seattle, we pretty much say goodbye to the sun and hello the “the long dark” of the next nine months. I’m hoping to catch a few good days to visit the pumpkin farms, to pick the Pink Lady apples from the tree in my front yard I planted at the beginning of the pandemic, and even a few figs from the fig tree I planted two years ago. Fruit from new trees is always a good sign—last year we got neither apples nor figs—so I hope my trees will stay healthy until next spring.
Wishing you a kind and gentle transition.