Kelli’s Reading in Woodinville, Goldfinches Returns with Cherry and Crabapple, Birthdays Approaching and the State of Publishing (And Fear of Failure)

Kelli and I with cherry tree in my yard

Kelli Reads In Woodinville

Kelli Russell Agodon came out to be our featured reader at the J. Bookwalter Poetry Series (just rebooted!) on Thursday night and she did a great job, as did the open mic-ers, and a wonderful audience. It’s always a pleasure to hang out with poets here in Woodinville, and the weather obliged, not being too cold or too hot, and the evening ending in golden light as the last reader read.

We also got to introduce Catherine Broadwall’s upcoming book, Afterlife, which will debut on May 5, and she’ll be our featured reader on June 18. I feel very lucky to have so many talented friends and writers around for inspiration.

Kelli with literary kitten Lady Charlotte

Kelli read from her upcoming book with Copper Canyon, Accidental Devotions, which if you haven’t thought about preordering, think about it! It’s got Alexa solving existential crises, mermaid dreams, Emily Dickinson’s phone messages, and a whimsical take on a world in chaos. Kelli and I have been friends since before our first books were taken, so we were reminiscing a bit, how we’ve changed as people and writers, how we haven’t changed. I think both of us have become better writers, and part of that is a function of having supportive writer friends, and part of it is not giving up, and another part is becoming more comfortable with who we are as people, which somehow translates into poetry.

We also had some folks sign up for the J. Bookwalter’s book club that I curate, which was a fun switch (wait…people coming out to poetry event THEN signing up for a book club? What is happening to us here in Woodinville? Are we actually getting some cultural activity?) Just an FYI to readers outside of the area, Woodinville is about thirty minutes outside of hipster Seattle, but it feels like it’s another universe—farms and wineries sort of dominate the landscape, but I’m happy to be meeting more and more people interested in art and books.

Goldfinches Return (with Cherry and Crabapple Blossoms)

Today was the first day I had seen a goldfinch, and the Rufous hummingbirds have returned to drink all of our hummingbird feeders. We’ve had pleasantly warm (almost seventy!) temperatures, and Glenn and I have been power washing the deck, painting the lamppost, and planting seeds and dahlia bulbs. (In case you couldn’t guess, Glenn did the majority of the heavy lifting, but it was nice to spend time in the garden!) Our lilacs have just started blooming. And the quail family returned to roam our yard in the rain.

My birthday is in a few days, and I’ll be turning 53. I definitely did not think I would last this long, so I’m at loose ends on what to do with a 53-year-old self…Should I have a midlife crisis? Re-brand as a totally different person? I haven’t gotten any Botox or laser peels or tattoos yet. Sometimes I feel like I should be more vain about getting older, or something, but I can’t really work up any anxiety about it, especially since I sort of feel like I outran a mortality race already (see my previous book, Flare, Corona, for more about that). No big party this year, just some family gathering and Glenn cooking at home. I’m getting a root canal (happy birthday to me lol!) and getting my bones scanned, both of which are I guess pretty normal for this age. I feel like I act and look more like myself than I did 15 years ago, if you know what I mean. I try to hide less. I wear what I want and dye my hair fun colors. I prioritize rest more of the time (darn that MS and perimenopause) than I used to, but in almost every aspect, I’m happier and healthier than I was a decade ago. So I guess I should just be thankful and enjoy things as much as I can. Now, speaking of struggling…

Goldfinch with coral bells

The State of Publishing (and If You’re Struggling Right Now, You’re Not Alone…)

Have you felt lately as if the floor is slipping out from beneath you as a writer, as universities collapse, lit mags disappear for lack of funding, and publishers are consolidated into nothing at all?

Vicky Weber’s Substack struck a nerve when it wrote about the state of publishing and what no one is telling writers:

What Nobody’s Telling Querying Writers About What’s Happening to Publishing Right Now

And as you might suppose, it’s mostly not good news. Yes, there is less government support for the arts, but more than that, traditional publishing has been struggling, distribution more limited. All of this means yes, it’s harder for new writers to break in, harder for existing writers to get attention, harder for everyone – from big deal publishers to little lit mags to writers like me—to get paid or even published at all. If you have a fear of failure, it’s probably been activated by rejection or just lack of response in the last few years. I admit I have been feeling not great about not having found a publisher yet for my most recent manuscript, which I thought was better and more audience-friendly than my previous books.

At midlife, and mid-career, I thought I would be doing better, to be honest, in my writing career. Then again, I’ve had mostly good experiences with my publishers, I have an audience that seems genuinely interested if small, I have met a lot of wonderful people in the literary world, and I continue to read books that fascinate me from tiny publishers and the big three alike. We had a pretty good audience for a “poetry” event the other day! I mean, that’s got to be a sign of…something. So, I won’t give up. I wish that I had the money or influence to make a big difference in the art world. Maybe someday! In the meantime, just remember a lot of people in the arts are having a hard time, and try to be kind and supportive when you can.