“Once Upon a Time” – A poem from “Unexplained Fevers”

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time he left me. I left him. It was winter, the white sun is what I remember most. When he called, I cut my hair. When I swayed, he swore. I wore a white dress and promised. He promised me. We chopped wood and parsley.

Once upon a time, I called him. It was hopeful. It was hopeless. One might not have recovered. His hair was white as winter sun.

Once upon a time we broke our crowns. The tumbling came after.

Once upon a time we thought we could. We drank from cacti in the desert and from freshwater pools on an island. We drilled through sheetrock. We stained the ground with blackberry juice.

Once upon a time I have forgotten. There was no veil, because it just sticks to your lips. I didn’t hide. Three days of mourning, three days to come clean.

When we rode off into the sunset, we had no idea where we were going. We should have mapped. Should have paid attention to the steady beat of our bloodstreams. Should have touched the dirt. Gone offroad.

We should have guessed. Should have noted. We paid in gold and heartache. We stood there in the winter sunlight, white as ghosts. It was the end of the road. It didn’t have a fairy tale ending. We couldn’t keep our stories straight. It wasn’t as they had told us.

• This poem was first published in The American Poetry Review and is the first poem in my new book, Unexplained Fevers! Buy it here, here, or here! Happy poetry month!