AI Self-Portraits and When Robots Take Creative Jobs; When Things Aren’t Merry and Bright at the Holidays: MS Flares and More

AI Self-Portraits and Are the Robots Taking Creative Jobs?

Sure, they say robots are taking all the good jobs. I know I don’t want them taking over poetry. Now there are programs that take pictures of you and turn them into surreal portraiture, often with elements of the bizarre and disturbing. I still recommend buying your art from humans. But this was a fun way to spend an hour or two while I was sick in bed this week…Me as warrior elf, cosmic self, anime self, and flower fairy. I’ve only ever had one artist attempt to do a portrait of me, and it was better than the AI. I also worry about feeding your face to some nameless AI program, and now the TSA wants face scans too? In most of the AI pics, they seem to get my ethnicity wrong (can you guess how?), and I end up pretty unrecognizable—just like my fingerprints (which the TSA couldn’t read despite repeat tries when I got my TSA Precheck in a moment of optimism some years ago.) Maybe I am actually an AI-thwarting ghost. Anyway, an interesting experiment, and as someone who’s been talking to AI programs since she was a kid (hi, ELIZA!) I’m interested in how they’re getting smarter, and also not any smarter. (Still: #payrealhumanartistsfortheirwork)

Downy woodpecker in cherry

When Things Aren’t Merry and Bright at the Holidays

Hello my friends! Usually, we sing and talk about an idealized holiday season, but it’s not always great, especially not the last few years. I know lots of friends struggling with families full of flu, another round of covid, relatives in the hospital, or dealing with seasonal depression and anxiety. It’s been colder than usual here and wet so it hasn’t seemed bright in the Northwest at all. No full moons, no stars, not even driving around to see the lights, as is our usual custom this time of year.

As for me, I’ve been struck with the first bad MS flare I’ve had in a long time. I’ve barely been able to get out of bed, slammed with fatigue, vertigo when I try to move, nausea, and nerve pain. I had to cancel everything this week (and this weekend) and just stay in bed (doctor’s literal orders). I’ve been prescribed meds, and now just have to wait for the spinning, weakness and fatigue to subside. There’s really nothing else you can do. I know a lot of people are in the same situation as me, feeling frustrated than things aren’t as merry and bright as we think they should be.

I’d been planning to get Christmas cards written, gifts bought, manuscripts read (for the manuscript contest I’m reading for this year), and trying to get an AWP panel outline ready. Unfortunately, none of those things happened. Writing and submitting? No. And sometimes, you have to let that be okay.

I have friends who are struggling, and I struggle to give them the encouragement and cheer they need. Charities need more money as layoffs proliferate in our area. If you believe in the original Christmas story, it was really about two poor kids who couldn’t find food and shelter during a winter in a strange town, a baby born among people who didn’t care enough to make sure he was born safely, who had nothing. It’s a reminder to take care of each other in a world than can seem cruel, cold, and uncaring, especially to the unhomed, the unwealthy, the unpowerful.

So if your holiday isn’t going exactly as you planned, you’re not alone. Be kind to yourself. Not everything is within our control, and the holidays can bring up extra family stress and expectations that can’t possibly be met. Do the things that feel important to you, like watching your favorite holiday movies (whether that’s the extended Lord of the Rings series or Shop Around the Corner or the Holiday), maybe eating the way you want for a change, and cancelling the things that aren’t really actually necessary. “Christmas magic” often falls disproportionately on women’s – often mothers’ – shoulders. But maybe it’s okay to have a little less magic, and a little more mental health.

Sometimes family can have unrealistic expectations for those of us with disabilities and chronic illness. We’re not able to fly out across country during a plague or visit when others are sick. When siblings/parents/extended family/friends ask why we didn’t make the trip, they don’t really care to know the answer, or the difficulties of living with food allergies, disabilities AND a crap immune system (insert your own things here). You should not accept any guilt trips of this kind, especially when you’re struggling just to stay alive and awake, barely able to do the bare minimum of showering, eating, or even reading a book. That’s the privilege of ableism; people who don’t have these problems don’t have to think about them, and definitely don’t think about how other people with these problems have to navigate a world that’s not built for wheelchairs, chronic illness, or the burden of ten doctors’ appointments a week. Stress can and does make people with immune system problems sick; the best thing you can do for yourself is not let yourself get stressed out about the expectations of others. (And if you’re lucky enough to be abled? Please don’t hassle people who aren’t, especially this time of year.)

This season, a season we do try to celebrate in the darkest coldest part of the year, is also a season we need to survive the best we can. And cut others a break as well—they could probably use it and some extra kindness too.  So, maybe this isn’t yet the best year for a big family reunion or extra big party with friends, with so many hospitals overtaxed with the pandemic, a terrible flu year, and worse RSV than usual too. Maybe it’s okay to be quiet this time of year, to sleep an extra amount, to take the time you need to heal and recover from whatever it is you have to real and recover from. Like I said, it’s been a tough few years, and though I’m optimistic things will get better, no scientist or specialist has been able to give me a timetable for when exactly that will be. As an SNL skit said last night, “Covid never left, and also it’s back?”

I just want to send those of you struggling a hug of understanding and support. I’m a type-A control freak who wants to overperform but whose body sometimes throws a few curves in the way of plans. But you know what? Sometimes we have to let go and be okay with not being okay. And those of you having a great time? Just remember that those around might need a little extra love. Wishing you a happy holiday season (but it’s also okay if you’re not.)

First Snow (with Power Outages, Haircuts and Holiday Things), Pushcart Nominations, Notes from a Manuscript Reader

Male Great Northern Flicker in snowy flower box

First Snow in Seattle (with Power Outages, Haircuts and Holiday Things)

Well, Seattle had a series of snowstorms, below freezing temperatures, and a bunch of power outages this week—early winter after a late fall. After the first snow, we lost power at our house for seven hours, and I know people who had it out longer. So, the romance of the first snow, and the inconvenience and stress (and cold!) of the power outage go hand in hand. We tried to keep our wild birds alive (you’ll see a lot of bird pictures this week). The snow prevented me from attending several medical appointments downtown, but you know what? I was sick of doctor appointments anyway. I’m taking a break…at least until next week.

Because of the Evusheld shots I had a few weeks ago, I felt a little more courageous about going out in public than I might have otherwise. Of course, it doesn’t protect me and my weak immune system from flu and RSV and even some covid variants, but it’s better than nothing, so I did a couple of holiday traditions—Glenn and I both got haircuts, we checked out Redmond’s night of lights, and went to Willows Lodge to see their holiday decorations, listen to live music and have boozy coffees and cocktails. When you think about it, for those of us with immune problems, this is really our third holiday season with covid. I thought this thing would last max two years—and I keep saying it’s got to be almost over. I don’t know how stressful going to AWP will be. Maybe by then things will be better?

Anna’s hummingbird on twinkle lights

Pushcart Nominations (May the Odds Be Ever in Our Favor)

After a week of rejection last week, this week I had two poems nominated for the Pushcart Prize—Bourgeon nominated “A Woman Turns Fifty with Cherry Blossoms” and Jet Fuel Review nominated “In a Plague Year, I Find Foxes.” The odds of actually getting in the Pushcart anthology in any year—no matter how many times I’ve been nominated—are very small, but it’s still a nice nod from the editors.

Here’s a look at one of the poems itself, from Jet Fuel Review’s Spring issue (It will also appear in my upcoming book, Flare, Corona):

From Jet Fuel Review

Red finch on cherry branch

Notes from a Manuscript Reader

As it is poetry manuscript contest season, and I’m once again finding myself reading manuscripts, I thought I’d offer some “notes from a manuscript reader.” These are all just my opinions, and your mileage may vary.

1. If you’ve never heard this before, make sure your first five poems are doing a lot of heavy lifting for the book—and then the last final poems. Because you know what? Tired and (mostly) unpaid readers are probably not going to sift through every single poem unless you’ve already hooked them.
2. This is for contests that allow acknowledgements (some do not, so just ignore this if that is the case.) Do acknowledgements matter? Well, if you have none, it might. I think if you haven’t done the work of submitting individual poems for publication, you’re probably not ready for the work of publishing and publicizing a book. I don’t really pay attention to number or the names of the publications, but having none or only one or two acknowledgements kind of puts you in the danger zone. Now, if I still loved the poetry, I might still put it through. Just know that getting individual poems published shows you’re trying, you’re part of the literary world, and you’re trying to build an audience—all things I’d care about as a publisher, and as an extension, a reader.
3. For books leaning heavily on one historical period or incident—this can work for or against you. I’ve read terrific books done in this way, but also a lot of boring ones. If you choose this route, make sure you vary voices, styles, and forms to keep the reader’s interest.
4. There is a weird sameness of tone in the manuscripts I’ve read this year—and granted, it’s just a portion of submissions from one publisher—but there’s a monotone in the manuscripts. They’re not poorly written, but they lack emotion, power, passion. I wonder if this is possibly the effect of pandemic fatigue—it’s flattened out our voices, our writing? Anyway, don’t be afraid to be a little weird, out there, or show you care about something or someone. It’ll likely jolt the readers – which is usually a good thing.
5. Good titles never hurt you. Once again, don’t be afraid to be a little weird.

I hope this was helpful! (And not too cranky! Anyway, as I said, this is just one person’s opinion.)

To leave you, this picture of Sylvia in her holiday tree cat bed, with snowy background. Wishing you as happy, safe, and healthy a December as possible.

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend, Family Visits, A New Poem in Prairie Schooner “The Girl Detective,” and Doctor’s Orders to Relax

Glenn, me, my brother Mike and his wife Loree with our Christmas tree

Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving Long Weekend, Quirky Reads and Family Visits

Did you have a good Thanksgiving weekend? I hope so. We stayed pretty low-key, decorated the house for Christmas, and saw my little brother and his wife for a holiday visit and a winery tour. So we took them to Chateau St Michelle to see the lights and J. Bookwalters for a wine tasting (where my book club meets.) We still have leftovers somehow, though the pumpkin flan and duck with pomegranate disappeared. We had an early present exchange since they’re going to Ohio for Christmas to see the larger family. Glenn and I still aren’t traveling due to covid (and everything else goin around right now) plus my torn MCL keeps me from trucking around much, so it was nice to see some family on the weekend. We also zoomed with our parents and talked to all our brothers. Lots of flu, covid, and other ick going around in the family, so probably best we’re staying home.

I read a lovely new book of poetry from a poet I’d never heard of, Adrienne Raphel’s Our Dark Academia. Raphel has a great resume – MFA from Iowa, a lectureship at Princeton, published in Paris Review, Poetry, all the big names – but this was a fairly small press, Rescue Press. One reason could be some of the poems were a bit untraditional – one was in the form of a Wikipedia entry, another in the form of a crossword puzzle, another was paper dolls – but I found myself enjoying the poetry and the quirky forms. The reason to shop at in-person bookstores is to find little treasures like these on the shelves. This one was thanks to my visit to Open Books last week.

Sylvia poses with the new issue of Prairie Schooner

A New Poem in the new issue of Prairie Schooner – “The Girl Detective”

A happy surprise in the mail Friday were my contributor’s copies of the new issue of Prairie Schooner – listed as “Winter 2021” despite the fact that in fact it is Winter 2022 – and my poem “The Girl Detective” is in good company with poets like Ellen Bass, Alicia Ostriker, and Denise Duhamel. This poem isn’t in Flare, Corona, but belongs to another book, Fireproof, that I’m working on.

A sneak peek at the poem below. I hope you enjoy it!

Glenn and I on Thanksgiving with our Christmas tree

Doctor’s Orders to Relax – and How That’s Going

So, I was literally told by my MS doctor after a very stressful month that involved injuries, MS symptom flare-ups, losing a beloved kitty, and eighteen separate doctor appointments – that stress, anxiety and the lack of sleep that go with them are the enemies of MS. They can make neurological pain and symptoms like tremor and swallowing problems and vertigo worse. So I was told to find some time and make it a priority to relax. Easy to say, not so easy to do, is it?

Nevertheless, I followed instructions given by my therapist – watch funny movies (The Holiday, The Thin Man, Guardians of the Galaxy holiday special – check,) listen to music you like, and read (see above.) I spent a little time with Glenn walking around Woodinville – we walked around apple trees in the cold and visited Chateau St Michelle to pick up a bottle of Thanksgiving wine and admire their lights. I tried breathing and meditation apps, birdwatching, and observing a few sunsets. But it’s tough to unwind yourself from a period of intense stress, isn’t it? It’s not enough to say “well, I won’t stress out about anything” – because rarely does life give you a stress-free day, even. It may give you welcome sunlight in a week of rain, or a beautiful November sunset, or even just a moment to kick leaves around or watch a candle burn. If you have any more advice on how to lower stress and anxiety, I’m open to more suggestions! I have a stressful dental appointment, a downtown cancer center blood draw, and more painful PT on my knee this upcoming week, so I’ll probably need it. I’ll check in with you all next week – and who knows if Twitter will even be there?

November Sunshine in the Pacific Northwest, Final Copyedits of Flare, Corona (and E-galleys available for review!), Twitter Meltdowns, Trips to Open Books and Roq La Rue, and Pushcart Noms/Rejections and Trying to Get in the Holiday Spirit Despite(?)

Me at the Bellevue Botanical Garden, Red maple, red hat

November Sunshine in the Pacific Northwest, Looking Forward to Holiday Cheer?

It’s been strangely cold and sunny here in the Northwest. With my torn MCL knee problems, I couldn’t get out and enjoy it as much as usual, but we were determined to have a better week than last week, so we still made a (mostly wheelchair) trip to Bellevue Botanical Gardens, where the leaves were turning to pretty spectacular effect. We also visited my favorite art gallery, Roq La Rue, to see their group show, “Tiny Ghosts,” and stopped at Open Books and bought way too many books. I also has one of the poems from the upcoming book, “When I Try to Write an Elegy,” nominated for a Pushcart Prize. (Thanks Redactions!)

The bad news for this week was a bunch of normal rejections, an NEA rejection, and a fairly scary appointment with my liver doctor about my liver tumors (bad enough for me to seek a second opinion and a new doctor, to be honest). But spending time outdoors in the sun, at my fave local bookstore and, with some inspiring art, was definitely healing. The holidays are coming, and hopefully more cheer as well.

Roq La Rue “Tiny Ghosts” show and Open Books Visit

Molly Devlin “Feral Wraith” acrylic on birch

We drove to downtown to visit our favorite Seattle art gallery to see their most recent group show, “Tiny Ghosts.” Many of the works were funny and playful in a gothic way. There were also some wonderful glass and ceramic cast sculptures.

This painting to the left particularly spoke to us having just lost our dear Shakespeare last week, but Roq La Rue’s entire show is worth seeing—up through Thanksgiving!

Besides taking in some new art, we stopped at the new Pioneer Square location of Open Books, talked books with Billie, browsed around, and ended up bringing home way too many books. New books by Stephanie Burt and Saeed Jones, as well as intriguing titles by Keith S. Wilson, Adreienne Raphael, Lucille Lang Day, and more. Do you want evidence?

Here is Sylvia with my book haul, in two poses (pawses?):

Final Edits of Flare, Corona and Sending Out E-Galleys for Review (and Twitter Flameouts)

So, this weekend, I am working on final edits of Flare, Corona for BOA – including updating last-minute acknowledgements, deciding on spelling conventions for words that I apparently don’t write twice the same way, and keeping an eye out for wayward commas, and I’m also sending out e-galleys of Flare, Corona to people who might be interested in reviewing it. If you are interested in reviewing it, in a Zoom class visit, or book club inclusion, please e-mail me at jeannine dot gailey at gmail dot com and I will send you a copy!

I’m monitoring the somewhat sad situation at Twitter. If I had 44 billion dollars, I think I’d do a better job of managing the product instead of destroying it, but Elon Musk is a really bad manager with a lot of money willing to hurt others in the process of getting his own way (toxic misogyny writ large, I’m afraid) and I’m sad because I’ve built relationships with not just the poetry community but disability Twitter and even fellow cat and flower lovers and I hate that a spoiled billionaire can make everything crumble in a few days that I’ve built for years. On the other hand, it makes you rethink your whole relationship with social media. For writers it’s essential to connect with audiences—and for a long time, Twitter was the place to connect with Millennial friends, writers, and readers. (Facebook was for older folks, and Instagram was for younger—or at least that was the received wisdom. TikTok is rising fast but not sure if I want to join—same with Mastadon, which seems clunky and confusing.)

In our front yard

Trying to Get into the Holiday Spirit (2022 Edition)

So, it’s that time of year again, and I’m doing my best (despite all the setbacks, injuries, and sadnesses of the last two weeks) to get into the holiday spirit. We’ve put up lights, put up the tree and started listening to Christmas music in the background. I’ve even finished most of my Christmas shopping. We’re doing a little Thanksgiving open house with my little brother and sister-in-law, and doing some low-key friend celebratory things in December, and that’s our plan. Still no travel for us, which is hard, but we’re trying not to tempt fate and given the knee injury probably better to stay unambitious. The sunlight has helped allay some of the usual SAD, and even though it’s been cold, I appreciate the extra light – especially now that it gets dark at 4 PM (curse you Standard time!)

Has it been hard or easy to be in the holiday spirit (whatever you celebrate) this year? Easier or harder than last year? I think the pandemic has dragged on so long for those of us who are immune-compromised, I’ve lost at least two or three family friends (parents of friends, some of them very dear) and even the stores don’t quite seem to have recovered their holiday lustre. Here in Seattle we are a little rumpled by rounds of tech layoffs, not just Twitter, but Meta, Amazon, Zillow, even Microsoft. I hope to spend a quiet month or two getting better, spending time with people I love, and doing a few things around town that I really love – like seeing the local holiday lights. Am wishing you a wonderful holiday season, as good as it could possibly be. I hope you get some down time and time with loved ones. Happy Thanksgiving!

Good News, Bad News November: AWP Featuring My Panel, Losing Our Beloved Shakespeare, A Lunar Eclipse, Sprained Knee and a Monoclonal Antibody Shot, A Holiday Visit to Molbaks, and a New Poem in the West Trestle Review

Good News, Bad News November: AWP, Beloved Cats, Lunar Eclipses, Poems, and More

It’s November, and it seems that often this time of year good news and bad news comes together. Sharing a bit of good news, AWP decided to feature the panel I submitted on writing disability and chronic illness, so that’s very exciting news, and I’m extra happy for my panelists.

On the sad news, we lost our beloved 16-year-old Shakespeare this week. He has lost half his body weight in six months and was failing to hold down water, so we had a vet to the house and said goodbye to him there. It was incredibly sad, more than I ever expect (why is that the case?) Glenn took it very hard.

And then this week a lot of weird body stuff (along with a full lunar eclipse)—a first-time ever torn knee MCL, and I have to rest that for a month—on the way to get physical therapy for my knee, I got a concussion and spent election night in the ER watching the results, and then today received my hard-fought Evushield injections—preventative monoclonal antibodies. It’s not as effective as it was on earlier versions of Omicron, but it should provide more protection than just my J&J vaccine would have and lasts six months. Glenn got his bivalent Omicron shot at the same time. Hopefully we will continue to stay covid-free throughout the next six months, through AWP and my birthday and books launch? To be fair, I usually have really bad luck during eclipses, and this was no exception. Better luck next week?

AWP Features the event: Mutant, Monster, Myself: Writing the Disabled/Chronically Ill Body

I couldn’t believe it when I got the news that AWP wanted to feature the panel I’d submitted it seems just a few months ago. I was especially glad because it will have ASL translation and livestreaming, as well as being in a ballroom at the convention center, so it should be accessible to more people. And the panelists are all people I would want to hang out with under any circumstances, so I feel very lucky. And since my book is debuting at AWP, it seems like great timing. I’m really hoping to see some writer friends at this upcoming AWP – the last one I went to was in Portland!

Shakespeare as a kitten in a Halloween candy bowl

Saying Goodbye to Shakespeare

It was very hard saying goodbye to this little guy who’s been our companion for 16 years. We got him while I was touring for my first book! I wish he had been able to stay with us through this sixth book. Glenn took it very hard as Shakespeare was especially attached to Glenn, and followed him around the house. He was friendly and cuddly and just an all-around good cat. We’ll miss you, Scrummy.

Three more pictures of him—in 2016, in happier times, as Santa cat, with Sylvia, and as a kitten on my printer.

A New Poem, “In a Plague Year, a Glass Baby Grows Inside,” in West Trestle Review

“In a Plague Year, a Glass Baby Grows Inside” appears in the current issue of West Trestle Review, and appropriately enough, is accompanied by cat-themed art. Check out the whole issue. And a sneak peek below:

Glenn and I at Molbaks with poinsettia tree

Finally, a Holiday Outing to Molbaks, A Lunar Eclipse, a Sprained Knee, a Concussion, and Evushield

See, look at us? That was earlier in this week, at a Molbaks holiday party, blissfully unaware yet of what awaited us later in the week! But at least we had fun for a few hours and were reminded that it is the holidays and there are good things to celebrate.

Lunar eclipses rarely spell good news for me—in fact, they usually include a trip to the ER—and this year’s was no exception. The night of the Molbak’s party was also a huge windstorm that knocked out power for a lot of people, including a lot of my friends and my little brother, and I had my first “old age” injury—a torn MCL ligament on my knee from…I don’t know, walking around in flats? Using my exercise bike? Still not sure but seems like one of those “age-related” or maybe “hyperflexibility” injuries that take a quick moment of barely anything to happen and ages to heal. To add insult to injury, I got a concussion getting into my physical therapy building (not at all an accessible building, of course—why??) and ended up getting a CT at the ER and being diagnosed with a simple concussion and instruction to wake up every two hours to make sure I was okay.

Today I woke to an 8 AM virtual doctor’s appointment, and then a 2 PM Evushield appoint. Evushield is a preventative covid treatment for people with allergies to the covid vaccines who have immune system issues. I was the very last Evushield patient at UW to receive the treatment, even though I had been approved for the treatment in June. So hard to get ahold of, and is a little less effective than it was six months ago, but hopefully will provide a little more protection for me for the next six months. I am thankful Glenn also got his Omicron covid booster with me. I expect to be a little down, sore, and achy for a day, a small price to pay to avoid covid. I found out Evushield is just now making its way to my friends in England, for a price: $1200. So I feel lucky to be able to get it at all.

Anyway, here are a few happier scenes to send you into the rest of November. Wishing you a happy holiday season, a balance of good to conquer the bad. I’m going to try to have a happy, illness-and-injury free weekend, and wishing you the same!