Measuring Up and Marching Towards Spring

I’ve probably mentioned I’ve been reading Sylvia Plath’s newest collection of letters for a while now. I’m finally getting to the end of Volume I, which ends when Sylvia’s about 24 (on page 1300). By 24, Sylvia had already been a Fullbright scholar, had poems accepted by Poetry, The Atlantic, The Nation, had an internship at Mademoiselle and sold several short stories. Looking at her, I look at myself at 44 and think: how do I measure up? I mean, she didn’t publish many books while she was alive, and I have five, but I’ve had fourteen extra years on her already! I didn’t publish my first book until after age 30! I still haven’t had acceptances at any of those magazines (and Mademoiselle is defunct.)

Now Sylvia Plath, along with a few other poets, remains one of the best poets of the past hundred years. You can watch her poetry get better in her letters over the years, from 15 to 21 to 24. Dating Ted Hughes, whatever kind of decision that was for her life-wise, was great for her poetry – she suddenly starts putting a lot of nature in her poems when she starts dating him, specific names of plants and animals, adopts the fierceness of the natural world as her own. (By the way, even before Ted, her preferences for boyfriends ran to the “handsome, healthy, big, brutish” variety – why the emphasis on “health” and what did she mean by that? Weird. So I don’t think she was going to ever end up with a nice guy type. She was also kind of a “mean girl.” Way meaner than me.

Who do I admire among today’s poets? It’s hard for me to say who the strongest/best poets are. I know which writers I admire and look up to, to aspire to be, so to speak (even though some of them might be younger than I am:) Louise Gluck, Dana Levin, Matthea Harvey, Kelly Link, Tracy K. Smith, Margaret Atwood. Beth Ann Fennelly, Brigit Pegeen Kelly, Lucille Clifton (though the last two have sadly passed away now, they remain in my bag of poetry heroines.) Will I ever be as good as any of them? It feels like I don’t measure up. I need to work harder to shape my work to be the best it can be. That never really stops, years after my MA and years after my MFA, that desire to keep getting better, to keep tweaking.

Today is the first day of spring, which feels like it should be an upbeat poetry day. I’m working on a couple of AWP panel ideas, and was just invited to be part of one. But I received a rejection for my latest book/collection in my e-mail box, and with the Sylvia stuff, just feeling a little discouraged. Plus, I have to get cancer tested again for my liver (MRI and blood work) – they do it every six months – and on top of the constant MS appointments, it’s a lot. Along with dental work, something I wish I could put off indefinitely! Thank goodness I’m finished up with Sylvia’s letters, and now I’m moving on to the latest essay collection by Zadie Smith!

But I will post some pictures of local blooms! Spring seems to be a bit odd this year, with storms coming to the east coast and a forecast of snow (!!) here on Saturday. Our spring blossoms have arrived several weeks late this year, so my daffodils haven’t yet bloomed, our hyacinths and cherry blossoms just now peeking out. And some local peacocks!

: Magnolia blooming in Kirkland

: Cherry blossoms across from my house

: Woodinville Peacock pair

Signs of Spring, Post-AWP Comedown, and PR for Poets!

Signs of Spring

It’s been a dreary winter here, so I was so thankful yesterday for some early spring sunshine and some signs of spring. Went for a whirlwind tour of the flowers and creatures of La Conner – we saw lots of trumpeter swans, snow geese, four seals, herons, a bald eagle. Even more exciting – hyacinths, tulips, forsythia, and one field of early daffodils. I have to say I am looking forward to our season of flowers!

: Cherry blossoms, snowdrops, daffodils, and me!

: trumpeter swans

: hyacinths

: tulips

: First La Conner daffodils

: In front of the windmill

: snow geese distance

: heron

: Mt Baker

Suffering from Post-AWP Comedown?

Are you experiencing Post-AWP Comedown? Hungover? Tired? Feeling insecure, overwhelmed? Just remember a couple of days of regular sleep, regular food, and not having to be constantly “on” will probably fix it. My other advice is be sure to actually read your AWP haul of lit mags, books, and do something with your swag before it disappears into the ether. Here’s my faux-AWP haul (books and lit mags I acquired in the wild here in Seattle during AWP) with my kitten Sylvia – not too shabby – and I sent out a couple submissions and wrote a little, so I didn’t feel too left out this year. I’m still recovering from the MS flare that put me in the hospital last summer, believe it or not, so I didn’t want to try the whole travel-cross-country-to-a-not-very-accessible-convention center this year. I’m sure I’ll get a handle on this MS stuff before next year’s AWP in Portland, plus I can drive there! Now to start thinking about panels for AWP 2019!

What Are You Looking Forward to This Spring of 2018?

So what are you looking forward to this spring? Besides stalking flowers and birds? Here are some cherry blossoms not far from my house. I am looking forward to being outside a little more, being a teensy bit more social, and of course the launch of my PR for Poets book! I’m looking forward to the Skagit Valley Poetry Festival in May, I may try to make it up to the Port Townsend Writers Conference this summer, and of course, another trip up to La Conner during the Tulip Festival in April!

More PR for Poets!

Here’s another link to the pre-order at Two Sylvias for PR for Poets!

Thank you everyone who wrote me about the cover! This book will give you everything you need to help sell your first/second/third book of poetry! Stop being afraid, start getting read!
Thanks to all the experts who contributed, including Sandra Beasley, Robert Lee Brewer, Kelly Davio, Kelly Forsythe (formerly of Copper Canyon Press), Marie Gauthier of Tupelo Press fame, and many more. This book was mostly written two years ago but came to a bit of a slowdown when I got my cancer diagnosis in 2016 and then my MS hospitalization and diagnosis in 2017, so I’m happy we were finally able to get it out the door after I got a little better and I think we made it even better with the last editing pass and updates! Thank you to my intern Sylvia and all the beta readers who helped me get this ready for press! And my Two Sylvias editors, Kelli and Annette! (Is it so coincidental that my publisher is Two Sylvias, my cat is named Sylvia and the intern who worked with me to proof the book was also named Sylvia?)
I may even be doing a few talks on “PR for Poets” in the Northwest, so keep watching this page. I hope it will be a book that is helpful to poets who have always felt they didn’t know exactly what they were supposed to do once their books actually came out, and to poets who haven’t known exactly what their role is in the whole publishing whirlwind. I wanted this book to be empowering to poets, not discouraging, but some practical advice on what you could do with a “normal” budget (AKA not $7500 a month!) and a little time. You don’t have to be a natural extrovert, and a lot of the basics are much easier than you think!

PR for Poets covers, MS Awareness month, and International Women’s Day! (Plus Poems up at Wordgathering)

Yes, it’s March, which is MS Awareness month, and today happens to be International Women’s Day, so I felt it was appropriate to post some news. I mean, a lot of folks are at AWP right now, but not everyone! So here are a few poems about MS and some PR for Poets news!

Here are a few poems from my new poetry book manuscript from disability-focused journal Wordgathering about my journey with MS.

And, for those of you keeping track, I finally have covers (front and back) for the PR for Poets book coming out this spring from Two Sylvias Press! (Ooh, late edition – here’s the pre-order link from Two Sylvias!) Thank you to everyone who contributed to this book as a beta reader, as an interviewee, or just moral support, and of course my two wonderful editors, Kelli Russell Agodon and Annette Spaulding-Convy! (And by the way, if you want me to talk to your class via Skype about this subject, contact me and let me know!) So for those of you waiting, the book should be out soon! My hopes and ambitions for this book are really just to empower more poets to feel confident about doing their best to promote their book and get it into the hands of readers, and not feel guilty/weird about it. Maybe I’ll pitch an AWP panel on it for Portland!

I’ve got a cold today but a lot of my friends and family are locked-in with snow on the East Coast and midwest, so it could be worse. It’s cold and rainy today, but we are supposed to get sunshine (finally) this weekend, so prepare to see some pics of any possible flowers! Remember it’s Daylight Savings Time starting Sunday! That means our sun won’t be setting til almost seven really soon – yippee!

What are you doing for International Women’s Day? Maybe I’ll go on Twitter and talk about some favorite women poets!

How to Survive (and Thrive) Not Going to AWP Tampa

How to Survive (and Thrive) Not Going to AWP 2018

Perhaps you can’t afford it. Perhaps it’s too far away this year – after all, Tampa is the opposite corner of the country from some of us. Perhaps you just didn’t feel like going. Whatever the reason, here are a few things to cheer you up about NOT going to AWP 2018! (I am aware that my blog has been a little downbeat lately, so I thought I’d write a blog post that’s a little more cheery. Here you go!) I am a veteran of going to AWP and NOT going to AWP (I’ve been going on and off for twenty years!) so I can offer a few solaces for those of us not facing the circus this time around.

Well, they say AWP is all about networking and making connections. But you’re a writer – chances are, you’re an introvert who hates small talk and big crowds. In my case, I’m an extrovert who’s very susceptible to germs, needs a wheelchair to make it down long hallways (or a bookfair). and is not only allergic to a lot of foods, I can’t drink alcohol. So even with every wire of my sparkling personality turned on, it’s tough to make a good impression at a conference that revolves around often inaccessible venues and a ton of alcohol. So what to do instead? Write a sparkling fan letter to a writer you love. Write a sparkling cover letter and send your manuscript to that press you’ve been dreaming about. So what if you don’t spend time at a party with them? They probably won’t remember it anyway, because seriously, everyone at AWP is sleep-deprived or hammered. (Love you, AWP!)
One of the best parts of AWP, everyone agrees, is the bookfair. The chance to discover new literary magazines, small press publishers, or stumble upon the book that will change your life. But here’s a little secret: your university or indie bookstore is a great place to browse for lit mags and poetry books! Spend a little extra time poking through the magazine section, even at B&N, and I bet you’ll find something new. Spend a little money on a couple of poetry books either by people you’ve heard about or writer you love who have something new out. Order some books through the library. You can enjoy the exposure to new work from your own hometown. A staycation bookfair, as it were! (In Seattle, Boston, or Boulder, you could visit the local poetry-only bookstores and get your poetry high there.)
Get some extra sleep. Drink a green smoothie, or at least, eat some vegetables. Wash your hands. Put on a face mask. It’s still winter, after all, and flu season, so take this non-AWP time to restore whatever’s been missing from your health – whether that’s time outdoors, extra C, going to the doctor or dentist, or just plain taking some down time. Yeah. Those AWP-goers won’t be doing any of those things, I promise. By day three, they will be jealous of your extra sleep! Plus, no AWP flu!
Call a writer friend and get together to talk shop. Bonus points if it’s someone you haven’t talked to in a while, or someone who works in another genre who has tips to share you might not have heard elsewhere.
Go to a reading. It doesn’t have to be big and expensive – it can be at your local coffee shop. Dress up for it, go out for coffee afterwards, make it an evening event. Don’t you feel a warm glow from supporting your local writing community. Take some pictures and post them on social media. See? You are networking after all! Then send some work to a journal you’ve never sent to before. (You’ve already done the homework in Step 2!)

Bonus: Save up for next year’s AWP, because it’s in Portland, and Portland is cool but it can be pricey, especially if you 1. like food or 2. like books, or 3. like doing anything. Have to park. Stay in a hotel. And let’s face it, Portland is a way more hip city to visit than um, Tampa. (No offense, Tampa-ites, but just…I can’t think of a less literary city. No, I probably can. Give me some time.) Every time I go to Portland I come back thinking of the things I should probably be doing to be hipper, then not doing any of them. But hey, maybe you will decide now’s the time for that cool haircut/neon hair color/tattoo. Anyway, start that fund now. Put a few pennies in a jar. That’s what you’re saving by not going to Tampa. (PS I am also allergic to the sun, another reason why Tampa may not appeal to me in particular, and Portland does. Vampires love the Northwest for a reason! So if you like me hate the sun, whee, enjoy not being in Florida in March where it’s 80 degrees!)

PS: No awkward AWP moments, no AWP creepers (listen, it happens every year) and no AWP hangover! OK, that’s all the bonuses I can think of right now. But feel free to add yours in the comments! #AWPsurvivaltipsforthosewhoarentgoing

And for extra cheer, here are a few upbeat pictures! Cats in flowers! Pigs! And thankfully, finally, Glenn and I ditching the reno for a few minutes to bask in some sunshine!

: Sylvia’s perch surveying reno from

: Pig peeking

: Glenn and I in March sun!

Grieving, Jenny Diski’s In Gratitude, Losing a Loved One, Winter Returns

Grieving – Having just finished Jenny Diski’s excellent memoir In Gratitude on her own experience of dying (and the death of her mentor, Doris Lessing) I learned one of my favorite relatives, my Aunt Charlotte, died unexpectedly of complications from the flu this morning. This is in the middle of a house in the middle of reconstruction, dust and drills, of course, as grief never happens in the proper time or place. And it seems there has been a return of winter this week – several dustings of snow and more alarming, icy roads, right when I was hoping for spring.

I probably won’t be able to fly cross-country for the funeral – a hardship to travel these days health-wise – but I hope she is celebrated for her good spirit and her nurturing ways. She had the most beautiful name – Charlotte – which I think is too rare, much like her, a woman devoted to her family (her son and husband had passed away within the last year) and to helping others, and a cheering influence on me in the early days of my health troubles in Virginia, way before I was diagnosed with most of the things that would eventually be found later by other, better specialists.

How is it there is never space for death and time to grieve, that people often end up dead too quickly to say goodbye (my aunt had just been discharged from the hospital – apparently too soon – and I was waiting to call until she felt a little bit better.) I was planning my own funeral around this time last year, I remember taking pictures of the cherry blossoms wondering if I would live to see another round, the death sentence had been passed (perhaps a little early) on me by all-knowing and very experienced doctors, and I was picking out music and where I wanted my ashes scattered, who I wanted to have my books and art (the only things I have worth anything, really.) But then I didn’t die, I’m still alive, still dealing with the messy realities of many many specialist and therapy appointments for my various medical things related to 1. liver full of tumors and 2. brain full of lesions among other lesser issues like asthma. And living is complicated and full of irritations – side effects of drugs, obstacles to our goals, not enough time paid having fun, too much time in lines or working on grant applications or taxes. Life’s little annoyances take up our brainspace, we forget to say “I love you” or prioritize spending time with loved ones doing the things that make life worth living, thinking life goes on forever.

Jenny starts off the memoir making “Breaking Bad” jokes but ends up, you can tell, irritable at the limitations of her body, the side effects of chemo, radiation and steroids, her falls and lack of concentration. You can watch her brilliant mind trick off her memories of the sixties and eighties and the things she learned about life, art, and family along the way. She had a hard life but didn’t really complain about it – in some ways she had a magic life, being taken in by a leading novelist when her goal was to be a writer, adopting Sylvia Plath’s very own kitten (given to Doris at the time of Sylvia’s demise, and passed along to Jenny) and generally having many extraordinary experiences, and ending fairly happy and fairly successful, though her end was not easy. (Jenny died of a mix of lung cancer and pulmonary fibrosis, quite similar to my aunt whose lung problems – COPD – complicated her ability to fight this year’s extraordinary nasty flu virus. Lungs are such delicate instruments and so susceptible in even people with the strongest spirits.)

Anyway, where is the space is Western life – between work and play, social media and in-person gatherings – for grief? How uncomfortable are we with the realities of death and dying, our own mortalities, that we rush to comfort people with platitudes. After a week of bitter cold, rain, and snow, the sun is shining right now out my window, and the sounds of the drills and hammers are quiet. My husband is not here. If I wanted to spend time crying I could. But I am a person who deals with hard things by writing about them. I did think it was appropriate to include this recent picture of the first crocus here, as my aunt was an avid gardener who loved flowers. I hope wherever you are is full of flowers, Aunt Charlotte.

Measuring Up and Marching Towards Spring