The Spaces In Between

Between seasons, between houses, between health and illness, between life and death, between books…I’m in between a lot of things right now. I’m trying not to dwell on the bad possibilities, only the good. I’m walking again and getting stronger, which is good for AWP (because getting around the airport and convention center in a wheelchair is a drag, and I should know, I’ve done LA in a wheelchair before.) I’m trying to spend time outdoors when I can and celebrate the stuff worth celebrating. We went out on a rare sunny March day on St. Patrick’s, taking pictures of the early spring blooms (rhododendrons! cherry blossoms! azaleas!) and checking out Open Books for a poetry boost. Here’s a pic of my haul from Open Books:

We had good news from my mother-in-law, thank goodness, back at home after a long stay in the hospital and knowledge that her cancer surgery was very successful, and my grandmother is on the mend from her fractured back vertebrae. My parents actually went out to see my grandmother and got to visit the campus of Missouri State University, the home of Moon City Press, who are publishing my next book, and picked up copies of Moon City Review.

Going to a liver specialist – actually a liver transplant specialist – on Monday for a review of all my tests and any more recommendations before the biopsy. It’s the first time since the diagnosis (non-diagnosis?) of growths “strongly suspicious for metastatic cancer” in my liver that I’m actually seeing a liver specialist, not a gastroenterologist, primary care doc, or hematologist/oncologist. So I’m hopeful that maybe he’ll bring a new perspective and give me some hope about what else could be going on.

You may know we sold the house last August and we’ve been shopping for houses ever since, unsuccessfully, being outbid by people with just more money overall and way more cash. That’s been a little frustrating. We lost another bid last week, and are going by a house today. Try, try again!

I’ve been working with Moon City Press to get blurbs together, a cover, and a description of the new book for the book catalogue – all due at the end of the month, eeeep! And that’s while I’m still wondering if I’ve been doing enough to promote my book that came out last spring, The Robot Scientist’s Daughter, while contemplating a November launch of Field Guide to the End of the World (my next book!)

Getting taxes and my AWP panel PowerPoint together are on the agenda for this weekend. I’m hoping for some unexpected good news to kind of balance all the rough news we’ve had the past couple of weeks. I’ve dreamed about being an acrobat and a ballerina in the past week – along with a lot of battle dreams – so I think there’s something I’m dealing with about balance, risk, and dealing with assorted dangers. Spring is coming! I feel well enough to eat and move around and do the things that make me happy, which I am grateful for. I read three books of poetry and finished Harriet Wolf’s Seventh Book of Wonders. I think to myself: the discomfort of being in between is temporary. I’m trying to capture the small moments of wonder inside those spaces.